Ready

[Anastacia42]

Let's go back to this:

Explore ‘Sense of Self’

Let’s say that you have lost your keys and you swear that you left them in your coat. You go to look and check all the pockets - the keys are not there. You swear they must be as that was the last place you remember them. You have a vivid memory of putting them there after you left the house. But when you check they are not there. At this point you can keep believing that the keys are in your pocket, or you can admit you were mistaken.

This is just like that. You may see clearly that the self is an illusion but still feel a sense of self - just like the keys. But feeling something to be true and seeing that it is or is not is different. This is why we may find ourselves coming back to your expectations at the start and at the end.

Now, I’d like to ask you to explore this SENSE of self very-very thoroughly. Not by thinking about it, but by FEELING it. Keep the focus of attention on the sense of self and inquire:

Does the sense of self have a location?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

If the answer is yes, how does the sense do this exactly?

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

What is found?
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Loving,

[Freedom777]

Hi Stacy,

I keep looking but I feel a little stuck. Like it does not matter what I do really. You say I can not make it happen or force it and still I keep working the pointers, hoping they will trigger a shift in my identity. A shift I´ve been searching for for many many years without even knowing what it means or what it is.

Does the sense of self have a location?

It seems like it resides in my chest and in the back of my throat, but on closer inspection all I can find is that contracted sensation and a thought or an idea connected to the contraction. If it does not exist, it does not have a location, right?

Does the sense of self have a shape or a size?

Again, it seems to take up some space in my upper chest but is really just an idea/thought and a sensation.

Does the sense of self say or communicate anything?

All it says is "I". And that´s just a thought. I am not even sure the thought comes from the sense of I. It comes from wherever all thoughts come from. So I do not think it communicates anything, really.

Does the sense of self have any characteristics or attributes?

No.

What is the sense of self ‘made of’? An image? Sound? Taste? Smell? Sensation? Thought?

Sensation and a thought. I am not sure these are even really connected. They just happen to exist in the same space and appears to be.

What is found

A bunch of thoughts and sensory sensations.

Peace/

James

[Anastacia42]

all I can find is that contracted sensation and a thought or an idea connected to the contraction. If it does not exist, it does not have a location, right?

Right.

How does it FEEL to see this?

Don't try to call the lie feeling "self." It is not. Stop believing that & you may find your freedom.

Yes, this shows up differently for everyone.

Loving,

[Freedom777]

Hi Stacy,

How does it FEEL to see this?

It feels as usual in a physical sense but there is also a detached perspective where I see the "I" is not solid nor real.
I feel lighter but the thoughts say this is not it because there is no drama or "fireworks".

Peace, James

[Anastacia42]

There may not be any "drama or "fireworks".Ever.

That is a false expectation. Some people get that, but for many. it's just a calm, slowly dawning sense of peace & nothing more.

Feeling "lighter" is enough.

Do you feel a shift in perception?

It may come & go . Did I send you 2 videos on that?

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Watch these, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

This is just a beginning.

We have a couple of support groups that are meeting via teleconference and I'll give you the information on that.

There are 3 meetings.

Vince Shubert runs one on the weekends. Write to vinceschubert@gmail.com for the link & schedule.

Luchana & Lubo run one on Thursdays. Write to Luchana at luchanauzunova@gmail.com

Ilona holds a monthly meeting. Write admin@ilonaciunaite.com for that link & schedule

Maybe talking with others will help.

When you are ready we have some checkpoint questions for you to answer. Other guides will look at them and may have questions. But not until you're sure and the seeking has stopped.

Loving,

[Freedom777]

Hi Stacy,

And thank you for the videos. Saw them before but didn't hurt to see them again.

Do you feel a shift in perception?

I do feel a quite vague difference in how I perceive.
For quite some time before I found LU I have felt a presence of a backdrop of total peace and stillness underneath the minds activity. After joining LU and working with you, there is also a clearer seeing of thoughts and sensations as just arising, coming and going. Of the "I"-thought and the contraction in the chest not being "me". So, yes, there has been a shift, but it's quite fleeting.

I don't know how to move on.

Peace, James

[Anastacia42]

Okay.

So, yes, there has been a shift, but it's quite fleeting.

I don't know how to move on.

You can't "move on." To where?

We have no control.

Relax into the "fleeting" Sensations of peace. Continue to LOOK with ButtChair and the DropBox pointers.

Question all lies/ contractions.

Were you expecting continuous bliss? That won't happen.

Loving,

[Freedom777]

You can't "move on." To where?

There's nowhere to go. I see that now. The thoughts keep trying though. I find this to be both liberating and frustrating at the same time. The thoughts have been trying to get somewhere else for an entire lifetime and I guess they are not likely going to stop doing their thing.

Almost everything I write feels quite empty and meaningless.

I am here. This I know.

Thank you for being patient with me.

Peace, James

[Anastacia42]

I write feels quite empty and meaningless.

I am here. This I know.

I, I, I, I, I.

Where is this "I?" Point to it.

Where is this "I" in DE? Can you find this "I" anywhere in DE?

Loving

[Anastacia42]

From my first post:

One thing that is helpful is to come to this forum
& post every day. Sometimes the site goes down. It will be back. Just come back later.


Loving,

[Freedom777]

Hi Stacy,

I have been focused on work and other responsibilities lately. Will start posting daily again.
At the moment the whole thing seems futile. No matter how hard I look, I can not find anything but the contracted sensation and thoughts. Still there is a feeling of "me".

Where is this "I?" Point to it.

When pointing at my own head there is only space and nothingness. But there is also awareness and presence.

Where is this "I" in DE? Can you find this "I" anywhere in DE?

No.
Is there still a belief in the contracted sensation being "me"?

Peace, James

[Anastacia42]

Hi James,

Yes, awareness will not go away.

Thoughts will not stop. We just learn not to believe them.

RELAX

There's already no "self." There is Sensation & thought stories.

What are you expecting?

Loving

[Freedom777]

Hi Stacy,

What are you expecting?

I am not really expecting anything anymore i think. I am hoping for freedom from psychological suffering, ease and peace.
I have noticed lately that I don't really suffer like I used to. Not that everything goes smoothly and without pain. But there is not the same oomph in the negative emotions.
Sometimes thoughts saying this whole search is a waste of time and energy come up.
Perhaps just being and living life from moment to moment is enough?

Peace, James

[Anastacia42]

Good morning, James,

I do feel a quite vague difference in how I perceive.
For quite some time before I found LU I have felt a presence of a backdrop of total peace and stillness underneath the minds activity.

Can you say more about this? How does it FEEL in Direct Experience?

Then try this:


Nature Exercise

Go out into nature and spend some time watching the movement of the whole. See how clouds move, trees swing, leaves wiggle, grass moves, insects, birds - all move all the time.

Then move focus to sensations and see how they too are in constant motion, thoughts come and go, sounds, colours, sensations come and go.

Notice that everything is part of one movement.

Then close your eyes and see if there is a line between you and out there, between you and life itself.

If yes, where is the boundary?

Is there an inside and an outside of Life?

Is there something which is not included in the movement of the whole?

Is there a witness that is watching life happening from a distance?

Is witnessing part of the one movement too?

Is there anything which is not just happening?

Go out, come back and tell me what you found.

Loving,