There is and has never been a Luce.

[Lubo]

Hi Luce,

'Each of us is a localisation of consciousness, numerous separate subjects of experience in consciousness’s imagination, through whose agency consciousness sees the unified field of its own mind simultaneously from numerous different vantage points as an apparent multiplicity and diversity of objects.'

I want to invite you to check what reality is — beyond any idea about it.

I’m here and ready to guide you. Are you curious to find it for yourself?

If yes... then first, forget every concept and description.
You want to taste, not just know about the taste — right?

So, make a clear agreement with yourself:
You are not interested in any idea of what reality is —
but only in seeing it directly.

Can you feel the freedom in that already?

Let’s continue:

Forget for a moment that the body is made of meat, blood, and bones.
Just for one second — drop every idea and concept about a “body”.
Delete the idea that there is something called body that exist for 1 sec.
No body" no "existence of the body" for 1 sec.

Now delete the word “body” completely — just for a moment.

Then the word “brain”, and the image of a head with a grey fat ball inside — delete that too.
Let it all dissolve, just for one second.

Also delete the idea that you were born — just for a second.
In order to find real existence, can you do that for your freedom?

And now… simply notice:

🔵 Where do thoughts and sensations appear from — and to?
🔵 What is the form of that which they arise in?
🔵 What is this only real “no-thing” from which every thought, sensation, and emotion appears?

Forget “body” and “eyes”…
and now look behind.
Let awareness move in that direction — beyond direction —
and see.

I am with you.

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

Yes, I want to see for myself.

Where do thoughts and sensations appear from — and to?

I don't know. A thought or sensation appears. It is replaced by another one. And another one. And another one...
I don't know where they come from or where they go to. All I know is the current thought or sensation.

What is the form of that which they arise in?

I can't find any form. There is no substance to any of it.

What is this only real “no-thing” from which every thought, sensation, and emotion appears?

I don't know.
I don't know how to answer that question without referring to ideas and concepts and descriptions that I have agreed with myself to let go of.

now look behind.
Let awareness move in that direction — beyond direction —
and see.

I sense silence and peace. Where there is a brief gap between thoughts, there is peace. I sense that this is what lies behind the thoughts and sensations. In brief glimpses followed immediately by thoughts about peace and silence. But an overall feeling of peace and happiness.

I am with you.

Thank you :)

Luce

[Lubo]

Hi dear Luce,

Let’s take a small step together —
Just for a moment, see the body as made of light.

How does the experience shift?
What changes when form becomes radiance?

With you,
Lubo

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

I've been very caught up in Luce stuff. I am back with you. I still want to see for myself.

Just for a moment, see the body as made of light.

I can conceptualise the body as made of light. But that is not the same as really seeing or feeling it. I haven't managed to really do that even for a moment.

How does the experience shift?
What changes when form becomes radiance?

Nothing is shifting or changing yet. It feels like a thought experiment.

Thanks Lubo for sticking with me.
Luce

[Lubo]

Hi dear Luce,
Welcome back.

Thank you for sharing. What arises as I read your words is this:

Let's start here: Notice the worry about what might happen, and the worry about what's happening right now. Notice these thoughts, these comments on your experience, and the desire to prevent a "wrong" experience from occurring. Now, gently shift your attention.

Instead of focusing on the content of these thoughts, look for the source. Is there a "Luce" who has a body, or is it just a collection of thoughts and stories about a "painful experience" that might happen?

Don't fight anything. Simply investigate what is truly happening here.

Ask again: Is the body someone, or are thoughts and programs arising about painful and "wrong" experiences?

Are these protective programs and the sensation of contraction evidence of a separate "someone" who is alive? Look at them. Ask them. Invite them to return to the space of no-one again.

What happens if we allow them to melt? Can you find what is here when they are not present? Can you find that they cease to be "they" and simply return to the spaciousness of no-one?

You are the monster of Awareness itself, vast and all-consuming. Now, look at all these feelings, programs, and narratives as a divine meal served just for you. They are delicious. What happens when you devour them, when they return to being nothing and no-one once again?

So much love,
Lubo

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

Are these protective programs and the sensation of contraction evidence of a separate "someone" who is alive? Look at them. Ask them. Invite them to return to the space of no-one again.

I see that there is no separate entity called Luce, that this is just a collection of thoughts, there is no distance between a Luce and the thoughts, they are the same thing. Worries come from getting caught up in the stories the mind is telling and associating with the thoughts rather than seeing them for what they are. And that still happens for sure but if I think to examine it properly there is clearly nothing but thoughts. It is getting easier to see thoughts for what they are. Which is a thought about thought.

Is the body someone

It still feels like a very embodied experience. The body is not Luce but feels very present.

What happens if we allow them to melt? Can you find what is here when they are not present? Can you find that they cease to be "they" and simply return to the spaciousness of no-one?

I do feel the peace and happiness and space between the thoughts. Between the thoughts that say 'oh look at the thoughts melting away' and 'wow, I'm not thinking right now' :)

When we started this conversation, I was between the thoughts much more. Less associated with them (Not 'I' as in Luce but I don't know how else to express it.) Then I got very caught up in Luce stories again, I forgot about the peaceful spaciousness. I think I pulled back from the idea that it is just me.

When I first saw that there was no separate Luce, nothing fell apart. Stuff kept happening, of course it did, there was never a Luce controlling it in the first place.

When I had that amazing glimpse of connectedness, of everything being within me - not me as Luce but me as the vast peaceful spaciousness that is everything including the mind that thinks it is Luce - I wasn't scared. It was joyous. Right now that feels intellectual not intrinsic. I saw the truth of it and I accept it but I don't feel it and see it right now. The mind enjoys conceptualising it all but I guess that's just another way that it protects itself.

You are the monster of Awareness itself, vast and all-consuming. Now, look at all these feelings, programs, and narratives as a divine meal served just for you. They are delicious. What happens when you devour them, when they return to being nothing and no-one once again?

That is my favourite so far of the ways that you have said similar things to me :)
I will come back to you about this.

I am not reading about nonduality and feeding the mind more concepts that avoid engaging with reality. But I came across this quote from Alan Watts: “Because the whole nature of the godhead, according to this idea, is to play that he’s not.” Which resonated with what you said about the divine meal. I know this is what reality is, and I have briefly seen it for myself.

Thank you Lubo.

love, Luce

[Lubo]

Hi Luce,

I am in such joy and deep excitement reading you:

When I had that amazing glimpse of connectedness, of everything being within me - not me as Luce but me as the vast peaceful spaciousness that is everything including the mind that thinks it is Luce - I wasn't scared. It was joyous.

You are that!
There is nothing bigger than you.
There is only your will.
Nothing dangerous can happen to you or with the experience of your life.
You are holding everything; there is no one else.
Yes! Everything is in YOU.

I do feel the peace and happiness and space between the thoughts. Between the thoughts that say 'oh look at the thoughts melting away' and 'wow, I'm not thinking right now' :)

Yes, you can't do the thinking—thoughts are just servants, experiences called thoughts.
You can use them or not; that is your will.

The mind enjoys conceptualising it all but I guess that's just another way that it protects itself.

Look: is there a "he" or "she" called the mind? Is the mind a living "someone" that can protect itself?

the mind that thinks it is Luce

Is there a "they" at all—a mind and a Luce?

Share what happens when you see this. How is your experience changing?

Who/what is here then?

So much love to you,
Lubo

[Luce]

Lubo,

I feel a little more free every day.

Look: is there a "he" or "she" called the mind? Is the mind a living "someone" that can protect itself?

Oh wow. No. There are just thoughts. They arise in awareness and they dissipate back into awareness. It is convenient to call the collection of thoughts from this perspective a 'mind', but there is nothing that holds them together. Anything that seems to hold them together is just another thought.

Is there a "they" at all—a mind and a Luce?

Just thoughts.

Share what happens when you see this. How is your experience changing?

Thoughts feel more and more ephemeral. There is no substance to thought.
What seems to be Luce is just attachment to thought. But if there is no substance to thought, there is nothing to attach to, and no Luce to attach to it. Just thought. No substance.

Who/what is here then?

Just awareness.

Which means there is substance to anything 'real'. Everything reduces back to thought. Feelings, sensations, thoughts about those things, this is how I experience the world. But it's all just thought.

If everything reduces back to thought, then everything reduces back to awareness.

I'm still thinking it through but it is starting to collapse.
Joy bubbles up as it collapses.
I am not through the gateless gate yet. But it feels very close.

Thank you Lubo.
Luce

[Lubo]

Wow Luce, so nice

Just awareness

. If we tolk for the awareness as a thing.:) Yes. This is like this.

Everything reduces back to thought

.
Thoughts are just 5 % of what is here

Feelings, sensations, thoughts about those things,

Yes thoughs about. What emotions are in reality, without the story around them?
Now go deep in and Find
Do You Love your self?
Notice the deeper intimate Erotic conection with Sadness?
Anger?
Eros?
What is to find that you are turn on by everything in you?

So much love,
Lubo

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

Thoughts are just 5 % of what is here

That makes sense, I think I've been conflating experience and thoughts about experience..? The experience happens whether or not thought is telling a story about it.

What emotions are in reality, without the story around them?

I don't know yet. Emotions are still coloured by the story that thought tells about them. It's become so automatic. Sadness is sad because thought is providing a story about why Luce is sad. I'm still working on noticing this and untangling it.

A lot of 'negative' emotion seems to boil down to wanting things to be other than how they are, or from thinking about something other than here and now. That's a common story that thought tells.

If the stories dissipate, it feels like peace is waiting.

Luce

[Lubo]

Hi dear Luce,

This next step is born from deep love and compassion.

I will take your hand, and together, we will shatter the gate. It may sound frightening, but it is the sound of divine laughter.

I will wield the power of shame as a racket, and we will play with its force. You know how potent shame can be, don't you?

I invite you to embrace shame, to allow its power to awaken you.
Note that the following pointers are not intended to shame you, but for you to feel the shame and the power it will bring to fully awaken and liberate you.

Do you accept?

Luce, think of the shame you feel not as a burden, but as a raw, untamed energy. The pointers are like a map to that energy. Can you see how by embracing this force, rather than running from it, you can use it to break through the illusion of being stuck and finally step into your true, free self?

If so, feel what the power of shame reveals to you with this:
Read one by one and stay with each for a while:

Lubo is my guide here. He knows I only pretend not to know that I am truly free!

Lubo knows that I have a passion for imagining suffering of all kinds.

I feel a profound shame that Lubo knows everything about my secret passion "Ilusion".

I feel shame that Lubo knows very well that I am enjoying my immortality and this gift of life in this way, exactly how I want and how I play In this very moment.

And only this deep shame I feel now helps me to sober the way I am enjoying here
and the power within to change it every moment.

No one can change the role I am playing here; I am the Absolute, there is only My Will!
And Lubo knows that :) And I feel shame and laughter!

So much Love to you,
Lubo

[Lubo]

Hi dear Luce,
What is going on, are you still with me?

Warmly,
Lubo

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

I'm still with you, thanks for checking in.

I've been having a stressful time. I know that the stress is just stories that have no substance, the illusion that there is a Luce who can be stressed at all, but I still get caught up in it.

I've been trying to work with your pointers but I don't feel shame when I stay with them. But I am feeling a lot of 'negative' emotions recently - anxiety, frustration, annoyance, fear - more so than at any time since I started on the pathless path.

Luce, think of the shame you feel not as a burden, but as a raw, untamed energy. The pointers are like a map to that energy. Can you see how by embracing this force, rather than running from it, you can use it to break through the illusion of being stuck and finally step into your true, free self?

This resonated, and I have been trying to think of those other 'negative' emotions as raw, untamed energy. Although I am forgetting to do that a lot of the time when I'm caught up in Luce's stories. But when I do, when I sit with the emotions, when I look deep, I'm starting to see that they're all the same energy, which isn't inherently positive or negative. Sometimes the emotions dissipate, leaving the peace and joy between the thoughts. I'm not quite seeing how to embrace te energy rather than dissipating it, to finally break through.

It's all a bit muddled at the moment. Thank you for staying with me and guiding me Lubo.
Luce

[Lubo]

Hi dear Luce,

Thank you for the reply. I want to show you something unbelievably beautiful.

Regarding your stress:

I've been having a stressful time. I know that the stress is just stories that have no substance, the illusion that there is a Luce who can be stressed at all, but I still get caught up in it.

You've put your finger on it. The idea that "I am born" is a fundamental, innocent belief passed down from our parents. It's the root of the "destiny of Me Luce."

The key is simple: just for a moment—for a second, for half a second—see through this story of the "destiny of Me Luce."
And simply notice what is left.

Thoughts will never grasp it; thoughts create a map, but the map is not the reality. You are not looking for an understanding or a map.
So, what is here, without "the destiny of Me Luce"?

So much love,
Lubo

[Luce]

Hi Lubo

the map is not the reality. You are not looking for an understanding or a map.

So true. The mind has the map all laid out. I completely see the map of non-duality. I understand intellectually that separation is an illusion. Hahahahahaha.

So, what is here, without "the destiny of Me Luce"?

Just experience. Here and now. No past, no future. No judgement about positive or negative. That is all overlaid on experience by thought. There is only experience. Peace. Joy.

Thank you for staying with me Lubo.
Luce