RaamS

[Lubo]

Stay here:

Till now I have been unsuccessful in finding myself as a thing :)

This is the door. Walk with me in that direction.

Can you see that everything you’re trying to be is just imagination—an identification with that imagination?

What time is it—when you are no-thing?
The name of God—No-thing?

Can you see what you are looking for?
What effort is needed to find it? :)
What practice?
How must the mind twist to grasp it?
:)
What is coming?

Love,
Lubo

[indianguy]

Hi dear Lubo,

This is the door. Walk with me in that direction.

Yes, Lubo, in whichever way you take me,.

Can you see that everything you’re trying to be is just imagination—an identification with that imagination?

Yeah, it is a quick reaction that mind does even before I can stop it, the moment it sees it doesn't know what I am. The second I'm not able to find myself, it rushes to say "maybe I'm something that's in there", or or something like that. It is definitely imagination, but I don't know what to do about it.

What time is it—when you are no-thing?

I have to go in search of a thought - or a label what comes up when I look at a clock or the sun outside. Until then, I don't know what time it is.

The name of God—No-thing?

Although theoretically I have heard that God is the truth of what I am/No-Thing, but right now, in experience, I don't even know what God is, Lubo, so I don't want to comment anything here, sorry.

Can you see what you are looking for?

I can say that it is present. Because perception is occuring, consciousness is there, so what I am looking for is definitely right here.

I feel that love is here, as if it is holding me, that Presence is here.

The question that comes up is, "But is this the best way I can 'see' it (I don't see it, I know that it exists, because I know of all other things)? Should I not be seeing it 'more clearly'?"

What practice?
How must the mind twist to grasp it?
:)

:D I don't know, Lubo.

What is coming?

There's just an idea that "I'm not seeing it well enough, clearly enough", because there are some things I cannot yet say. For example:
- I know that everything is seen because presence exists, but I cannot say for sure that everything arises in it
- I do not yet feel I am in this chair next to me as much as I feel myself in this body
- I do not know that form is emptiness/emptiness is form

and several of the other ways in which realized people describe what they understand after realization.

Love,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,
I love exploring with you.

"The second I'm not able to find myself, it rushes to say 'maybe I'm something that's in there,' or something like that. It is definitely imagination, but I don't know what to do about it."

Look here — “I don’t know what to do about it.”
Take a few deep breaths from your belly. Let your body soften.
Maybe even let an “Ommm” sound ripple through — just to invite your system to relax.

And now… notice this:
Your direct experience is the only authority.
I’m with you in this.

Look around — what is your experience?
Are you the eyes, or are you the one behind the eyes?

Are the eyes the subject… or just part of the field?
Can the eyes know what they see?

Are the eyes you, or are they part of what appears to you, in this very moment?

Now notice — the eyes open and close, but you remain.
Which is more stable — the eyes, or you?

And the body — are you the body, or something behind it?

Can you see yourself?
Can you touch, hear, or feel yourself — directly?
Are you the five senses… or are you behind them?

"What time is it — when you are no-thing?"

"I have to go in search of a thought — or a label — that comes up when I look at a clock or the sun outside."

Beautiful. So… time appears outside.
But what about you, behind the screen of life?
Is there time there?

Now gently look into what you already are:

"Although theoretically I have heard that God is the truth of what I am / No-Thing..."

And what is your experience, right now — when you're behind all appearances?
Who are you?
What are you?

:)

With love,
Lubo

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

I love exploring with you.

I’m with you in this.

Thanks so much. I'm extremely grateful for your guidance.

Look here — “I don’t know what to do about it.”
Take a few deep breaths from your belly. Let your body soften.
Maybe even let an “Ommm” sound ripple through — just to invite your system to relax.

Yes, Lubo.

And now… notice this:
Your direct experience is the only authority

Right, Lubo.

Look around — what is your experience?
Are you the eyes, or are you the one behind the eyes

It feels a little fluid to answer. When not looking at any concept, I'm not able to say where "I" ends and the "other things" begin. But in the simplest sense, these things appear *to* me, so I'm the one behind the eyes, yes.

Are the eyes the subject… or just part of the field?
Can the eyes know what they see?

Are the eyes you, or are they part of what appears to you, in this very moment?

In this sense, I'm definitely not the eyes. The eyes cannot know what they see, they are justa means by which I can know. They are not conscious, they cannot know.

In this moment, they are part of what appears to me in experience, and are involved in sight and some sensations.

Now notice — the eyes open and close, but you remain.
Which is more stable — the eyes, or you?

Definitely, I am more stable, continuous, uninterrupted.

And the body — are you the body, or something behind it?

I'm definitely not the body. I know the body, I experience it. In some ways it feels like I can "run" the body, but I'm not it.

are you the body, or something behind it?

Can you see yourself?
Can you touch, hear, or feel yourself — directly?
Are you the five senses… or are you behind them?

I seem to be something behind them for sure.

I'm not able to see myself. I cannot reach it by touch. I cannot hear it. I can "feel" but not in the way of touch. I know I'm here.

Beautiful. So… time appears outside.
But what about you, behind the screen of life?
Is there time there?

I'm not exactly able to say "no it doesn't", but the answer is definitely not "yes".

But it feels like the question doesn't make sense in where I am.

Now gently look into what you already are:

And what is your experience, right now — when you're behind all appearances?
Who are you?
What are you?

:)

I just can't catch hold of anything but I'm definitely here.

I don't know what to say about it.

Most thoughts are immaterial in this, but the idea "I'm still not understanding it" is something I'm still holding onto. There's something frustration about that. I want to leave everything and just "reach" it, be here, but how?

Love,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,
You’re closer than you think—closer than close.

Most thoughts are immaterial in this, but the idea "I'm still not understanding it" is something I'm still holding onto. There's something frustrating about that. I want to leave everything and just "reach" it, be here, but how?

Walk with me:
Turn your focus inward—towards the only sobering place there is: you!
Where is the focus now?
Stay there!

What is it to simply be here—only you with you?
No thoughts. No emotions. No eyes, no body, no story, no job, no family!
Just the pure you are.

Look at life from here.
Is it real? :)
Who is the boss?
is there someone else?
:)

Love
Lubo

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

Walk with me:
Turn your focus inward—towards the only sobering place there is: you!
Where is the focus now?
Stay there!

Yes, Lubo.

What is it to simply be here—only you with you?
No thoughts. No emotions. No eyes, no body, no story, no job, no family!
Just the pure you are.

At this moment, looking at none of that, the only statement is "it's nice", that's it. Actually, not even that. It's just quiet.

Look at life from here.
Is it real? :)
Who is the boss?
is there someone else?

Well, there's definitely no one else. I don't know, "the boss" is a strong statement, but, well, who else is there?

You’re closer than you think—closer than close.

Really, Lubo? This is it? There is so much doubt about how this should feel like. Even something like "Am I really placing my focus on myself or is it not exactly there?" It is possible to set aside the doubt at this moment, but I am not sure if I aam really free of the doubt yet.

Look at life from here.
Is it real? :)

However, there's one thing I have to say: These days I try to just look at the story of life just as an appearance at some points during the day. It could be in the middle of a conversation I'm having with someone, or maybe when I'm presenting something at work. Whatever is going on is an appearance - it doesn't feel like I am running the show, not even choosing the words I'm saying. It's going on.

But there's still so much doubt.

Love,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,

Yes, I see what you're sharing.

Notice the belief: “I, Raam, am special.”
Can you feel how this single idea creates you-persona and separation?
Notice — Raam is not special.
No one is?
And in that, everything becomes open, unguarded, real?

This is your investigation.
Look!

Isn’t all of this just a one-man show?

Now, look someone in the eyes — without making anyone special —
and notice:

Who are you really, that is looking at others?

You are not special.
You are no one.
And at you — also — no one is looking?

So…

What is coming?
What arises when even this falls away?

So much love to you,
Lubo

[indianguy]

Hi dear Lubo,

Yes, I see what you're sharing.

Notice the belief: “I, Raam, am special.”

At first, I wanted to clarify, "I don't feel that I am special. That's what I meant - I was hesitating to call myself as 'the boss' because I do not feel that I am special". But then I watched a part of your recent YouTube video titled '"I am special" as a doorway to Nonduality', and realized, sure, that feeling is there.

It is there in my fears, in my worries, in my desire to realize. In those ways, there is that feeling for sure.

Can you feel how this single idea creates you-persona and separation?

Notice — Raam is not special.
No one is?
And in that, everything becomes open, unguarded, real?

I can say it certainly becomes relaxed and spacious.

This is your investigation.
Look!

Isn’t all of this just a one-man show?

Yeah, Lubo.

Now, look someone in the eyes — without making anyone special —
and notice:

Who are you really, that is looking at others?

You are not special.

Yesterday, a friend had come home with his one year old daughter. When playing with her, I wondered: she doesn't seem to think that she is a persona. In this space, when looking at her, it felt like just a space was looking at her - an expansiveness.

The space existed and the activity of me sitting with the baby was taking place.

You are no one.
And at you — also — no one is looking?

So…

What is coming?

This part is the confusion. I am seeing how presence feels, how this moment feels. But when you ask me "who or what is looking", I don't know. When you ask, "Do you see that you are no one", I don't know.

I see what is here (I guess), but I don't know what to consider it, how to call it.

Am I sure that I am no one, that I don't exist? No! This is the problem. By looking, I don't know if I exist or not.

What arises when even this falls away?

I don't find anything falling away, Lubo. I'm so sorry.

So much love to you,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,

Yes — it’s truly powerful to see through the idea “I am special.”

Notice what comes with that:

“It is there in my fears, in my worries, in my desire to realize. In those ways, there is that feeling for sure.”

When you really see that there is no “special someone” to own any of this…
Notice:
Are these fears and worries really someone? Is there someone born at all?

Notice — these fears only arise because of a deeper belief:
Look at these hands, these legs, this body are they causing the future?

THIS is the lie.

See how thoughts play the game — as if there’s someone behind them, doing, controlling?
Are thoughts someone born?

But… where does each present moment actually come from?

Close your eyes.
with this:
https://youtu.be/WfZmScjMv5U?si=G9MqWe-n20Ru7VxJ
Let the focus turn inward — not to the words, but to the message underneath.
What is realization — even for half a second?
So much love,
lubo

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

Yes — it’s truly powerful to see through the idea “I am special.”

When you really see that there is no “special someone” to own any of this…

"Not special" is fine. But "not someone" is still confusing.

I'm used to feeling "like this" (whatever is in my experience now) all of life, and I thought "feeling like this" means "to be a someone".

Now, when I am told "there is no one here", I don't know what that means. I look, I don't understand what I'm looking at, and I come back and find myself waiting for some magical realisation. But I'm told that this experience I've always had is the experience of no self, but i don't know what that means, Lubo.

I've sat and looked, and i don't understand anything from looking either. This has been the state for a long time.

I'm sorry to not follow in the line of questioning you have indicated, but when you say 'When you really see that there is no “special someone”', I don't know that.

I'm very sorry that i may be sounding rude or harsh, this is a place where i feel stuck. I don't know anything here.

Are these fears and worries really someone?

The fears are emotions, reactions, they are not a someone, no.

Is there someone born at all?

This is the kind of question for which i don't have an answer, Lubo.

I'm extremely sorry about how i answered that.

Love,
Raam

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

Notice — these fears only arise because of a deeper belief:
Look at these hands, these legs, this body are they causing the future?

THIS is the lie.

Things are happening. I don't know what the future will be, but i am not (at least knowingly) causing it. Things happen from these have and legs, maybe some of that affects what might happen, but i don't know how or what.

It is just that things are happening, that's all.

Are thoughts someone born?

Thoughts are not "alive". They are just statements, which may be based on truth or based on something that is not true. They are not a "someone", that's for sure.

But… where does each present moment actually come from?

Some things are happening, that's all I can say, I guess.

Love,
Raam

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

But… where does each present moment actually come from?

I remember, you once gave me this question as a way to just bring attention back to "presence".

Right, now, attention is able to come to the present moment, and intimate presence is felt, too.

But I'm not sure why it feels like "this is not realization, something else hasn't happened yet".

Close your eyes.
with this:
https://youtu.be/WfZmScjMv5U?si=G9MqWe-n20Ru7VxJ
Let the focus turn inward — not to the words, but to the message underneath.

Attention kept going to the words:)

The only other thing i could do was to put attention in presence, letting this be a background sound.

What is realization — even for half a second?

I don't know, Lubo.

You have told me in the past, that if I just decided to not bother about what is going on in the screen of the world (including body), that's what I am.

I don't know why it feels like "something more" had not yet happened.

Love,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,

"Not special" is fine. But "not someone" is still confusing.

Yes—this is the play, the divine game.
Say “not someone”… and just notice what arises. Confusion? Reaction?
That very reaction *feels* like someone, doesn’t it?
But is it truly someone… or just protection, arising without anyone behind it?

Confusion is simply taken to be someone.
But here—there is only Lord Krishna in all his forms.

Check the *Bhagavad Gita*, Chapter 11—you can find it online.

And then, check again… this “protector”—is it really someone?
Mind and body may act in protection, but what are they protecting?
What is behind them?

Listen to the mantra again. Really listen—what is the message?

Is it becoming clearer now, what you’re truly looking for?

That the ego, the pain-body, the inner child... they feel so personal, yet they are *no one*.
Is it clearer now what and where to look?

Also, look at your body—and at other bodies.
A body cannot see.
So your body, and all other bodies, appear *in* this moment—
and that which sees them is the same, one and the same.

Tell me: what is it that is to be found,
that the body cannot see—
yet all bodies are seen?

I’m here with you,
Love,
Lubo

[indianguy]

Dear Lubo,

I've been travelling , and couldn't finish reading Bhagavad Gita chapter 11 yet. Really sorry for delaying the response.

I wanted to type out a quick reply based on some things I've observed so far, based on what you're asking.

I’m here with you

Thanks so much, Lubo.

That very reaction *feels* like someone, doesn’t it?

One thing I must say: I've always heard that people have some unwillingness to look, some fear of losing themselves, some resistance. I have not felt much of that before.

But now, I see that in my case, it comes up as "I don't get it!", or "I am not sure what I am looking at!", or "I am not clear on what I should be seeing". It comes up as so much frustration that I'd rather look somewhere else, like at emotion, "why I seem to behave a certain way" and other aspects that are within the story.

"I don't understand" or frustration is the way in which resistance comes up in me, I guess. Because when this happens, I give up looking at that time.

Yes—this is the play, the divine game.
Say “not someone”… and just notice what arises. Confusion? Reaction?
That very reaction *feels* like someone, doesn’t it?
But is it truly someone… or just protection, arising without anyone behind it?

Confusion is simply taken to be someone.

When sitting with eyes closed now, there was an uncomfortable sensation in my neck region. It often comes up when I try to meditate. I felt "I need to just stop focussing on this sensation so that I can get to the actual question of focussing on the confusion/frustration. But whom was I addressing there? The sentence was serious, but the person I was addressing was an issue - which is what made it frustration that "I cannot get myself to focus on the confusion right now". But to think that there's a thing I need to "get to" was the issue you were pointing to.

Because who can? I still don't know that someone who can, I haven't found him.

This was a feeling that came for less than a second or so.

I don't know what it felt like or anything, but I think I at least understood where you are asking me to look.

Please give me another day or so to reply to the rest, Lubo.

Sorry for being so late.

Love,
Raam

[Lubo]

Hi dear Raam,

"But now, I see that in my case, it comes up as 'I don't get it!', or 'I am not sure what I am looking at!'"

Yes. I know. I’ve been there.
What you're looking for is to realize — you are Awareness itself. Freedom itself. The Eternal Now.
You are Buddha.

The thought "I don't get it" is not a mistake — it’s simply showing that the experience of personality is here: thoughts, confusion, tension.

But what if you are the Awareness that creates this entire experience?
If you're curious, follow me into this little experiment.

The Belt Exercise
You’ll need a belt or a scarf for this.
You must follow each instruction exactly, without skipping. Can you do that — for your own freedom?

If yes:

Place the belt around your waist (or scarf around your neck).

Begin to slowly tighten it — just enough until it clearly grabs your full attention.

Stop at the point where the tightness is intense enough to be fully present with it.

Now, stay in that “tight” feeling and explore:

What are you using the belt/scarf for in this moment?

Is the belt using you, or are you using it?

Is the belt someone? Can it act on its own?

Are you the belt — or are you the one using it?

And now, the same way:

How are you using your thoughts in this moment?

Are you using the thoughts — or are they using you?
(Hint: don't use thought to answer that — just see.)

What is it like to discover that you are the one using the thoughts, in exactly the way needed to create the experience you’re having?

What is it like to see that you are the one creating the experiences?
What is it like to realize that you are not the experiences themselves — that you are not any experience?



With love and light,
Lubo