Now and Here and Nowhere?

[Ezilda]

Stacy hi,

How will life change? How will you change? What will be different? What is missing?

I'm basically still in agreement with my original answers and they seem fairly reasonable. Thanks for the reminder.
Although in addition, I seem to have a notion that I might feel "empty and light" most of the time. . . but for the most part, don't have any certainty about any of it.

Meanwhile, practiced the butt/chair exercise with similar results:
No dividing line, only sensation.

The actual chair is elusive as well . . . . a thought, or thought image.

Regarding ButtChair, you are right, there is no dividing line; however, the practice of looking can help you with the shift in perception.

Seems looking into the reality of a "butt" could help with this shift. Intend to focus on that as well.

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Have I shared with you the pointers from my Dropbox?

https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/dcx2cai6 ... httzc&dl=0

I think maybe I did, but I'm not going to scroll through to look. There are about 12 of them there. Be sure to listen to the introduction if you haven't.

Keep doing ButtChair, but this is another approach.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

Have I shared with you the pointers from my Dropbox?

Yes, and I have listened to the intro, and some others, but not all yet . . . .

Keep doing ButtChair, but this is another approach

Am content with butt/chair for now . . . .
Spent an hour focussing on that . . . tho attention slips to sensations in feet/thighs/back/etc.

It's getting more obvious: no butt . . . . only thoughts or thought-pictures of it . . . .
but the thoughts automatically/reflexively keep popping in . . .

When I was able to focus an entire hour, I did experience more of those feelings of lightness and expansion.

Through the day the sense of 'I' still functions/appears,
but at times there's somethng else, hard to describe . . .
less thinking?
more vividness?

Intend to also play around again with your deeper body investigation.

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Good.

but the thoughts automatically/reflexively keep popping in . . .

Yes, of course. They don't disappear. We simply learn not to believe in them.

Men keep putting on red suits and playing Santa but we know better.

did experience more of those feelings of lightness and expansion.

less thinking?
more vividness?

Yes. That's it. And it will come & go.

You seem to expect it to always be that way. It won't.

So, like Santa, can you say 100% there's no self, even when there seems to be? You know better?

Loving

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

"So, like Santa, can you say 100% there's no self, even when there seems to be? You know better?

Logically, absolutely!

Today worked with butt/chair, no body and veered into working with no "I" . . .

To really sense this "no I"seems to take special conditions . . . . sitting quietly, taking my time .... focussing intensely on where this supposed "I" is, coming up with nothing/nowhere . . . feeling into the nowhere/nothingness of it . . .
Recognizing sensations in the face, jaw, chest, shoulders, etc, that give a felt sense of "I," are in reality only sensations, not "I" . . . .

With any forgetting to remember/remind (frequent) . . . the self feels "real" again . . . being believed in. .

Yes, of course. They don't disappear. We simply learn not to believe in them.

Slowly learning . . .
think I need to keep practicing this . . .
thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Keep LOOKING.

This isn't about logic in any way.

This will be an experiential shift in perception. It requires no effort. You must be relaxed. It is likely to sneak up on you with you're relaxed & not looking

Practice just creates the conditions. Or as Sunryu Suzuki said "Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone."

Loving

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi..
Thought I posted a reply last night, but don't see it.
(Perhaps pressed preview instead of submit?)
Basically, am just keeping at it --
Intend to do so today as well,
appreciate the daily check-ins . .. sorry I messed up.
thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

That's okay. No one to blame! ;)

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

as Sunryu Suzuki said "Enlightenment is an accident. Meditation makes us accident prone."

Practicing to become accident prone ...
Butt-chair...thought pictures, but no dividing line, no butt. ...
And the sense of "I" is just that . . . a felt sense . . . sensations in the face, jaw,shoulders . ..
More evident when I take a chunk of time to focus on it . . .

No one to blame!

"I" pops in regularly. Especially so when feeling emotion, like "I messed up."
Also when talking . . . reading. . . . trying to notice this.
Easy to forget to notice and just get caught up in the stories.

{quote] It requires no effort. You must be relaxed. It is likely to sneak up on you with you're relaxed & not looking[/quote]
"Trying to notice" -- counter-productive?

merci, e

[Anastacia42]

"Trying to notice" -- counter-productive?

This just begs me to quote Yoda, you know.

https://youtu.be/BQ4yd2W50No?si=NEccae6g1qOUGJXU


Can you have this imaginary "I" without any thought of "I?"

LOOK

Loving

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

Can you have this imaginary "I" without any thought of "I?"

It's not clear . . . the felt sense might have no words of "I" . .. but somehow "feels" like "I" . . .
It's a familiar sense of "I" . . . the "familiarity" is actually a thought?
With close examination, it's clear there's no "I" in the felt sensations . . .

Likewise, no "I" in any thought of "I" . . . .
If "recognition of familiarity" is also a thought, I cannot have this imaginary "I" without some thought of "I."

And am becoming more aware of how the body initiates movements/activities before any "I" gives it instructions . . .

Yoda's "Do, don't try." -- Nice
Tho am still "trying" -- focussing/close examination/etc.
thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

With close examination, it's clear there's no "I" in the felt sensations . . .

Likewise, no "I" in any thought of "I" . . .

Right. No "I" anywhere. LOOK & see no "I."

Yes things just happen. Enjoy the ride!

Note the experience of the 5 senses. Note that thoughts arise. Ignore what they say.

You're doing fine.

Loving,

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,
Pretty sick the last 3 days, luckily not covid . . . on the mend . .

Right. No "I" anywhere. LOOK & see no "I."

Seems like the "I" is reinforced in conversations.. . .
and also with "should's" & "have to's", likes & dislikes . . .
Sometimes catch the latter groups, but totally forget to "LOOK" when talking. . . .

With should's & have to's, likes & dislikes, there CAN be a recognition that it's just a thought (with an emotion/feeling).
Ignoring the thoughts is easier when the feelings are less intense.
And it's easier to "enjoy the ride."

thanks, e

[Anastacia42]

Hi Ezilda,

Hope you're feeling better.

Remember, there is already no self. It has always been this way. You only need to relax & see what's already true.

We're not trying to make this a chore of trying to look all the time. That's straining. Just relax & let truth arise.

Loving

[Ezilda]

Stacy, hi,

YOu need only relax and see what's already true . . . .

Realizing I keep trying to "prove" to myself that there is no self.
Recognizing that I don't need to.
Much easier to just allow it . . . .

Taking a new tack . . . . reminding "myelf" that there is no self . . . . .
Somehow this helps to "relax & see" it . . .
(Tho forgot this totally when out for a walk with friends, expressing"my" opinions.)

We're not trying to make this a chore of trying to look all the time. That's straining. Just relax & let truth arise.

And so allowing more relaxation with this . . .
Tho mostly just brief moments (amidst lots of busy paperwork). . .
And even experienced some 'light and floaty' feelings!!

thanks, e