Making sure I've fully seen through

[Honey]

Well anxiousness can be the result of attachment style and abuse - CPTSD, and not necessarily a NO to a person, thing, or circumstance, but yeah sometimes anxiousness seems very random here, like there can be a ton of confusion about why it’s there. I heard Pernilla’s and Todd talk about the body No and how it can be difficult to discern if there has been a history of abuse and gaslighting, and that the “no” has no anxiousness or emotion in it. Anxiousness and emotion is a trigger, not a clean NO apparently. I’m still not sure I agree either frankly. Hence all the confusion.

The retreat is Angelo Dillulo.

Thanks for sticking with me.

I would like to keep at it, consistently, but as I said it will be a challenge the coming weeks.

Oh, and as an example of anxiousness. When I finally made it to bed last night and picked up my phone to respond to this, I felt severe anxiousness. The thought was that I was ghosting the thread if I didn’t respond and I felt super obligated although I really didn’t want to respond, but did anyway, and this brought an incredible agitating vibration inside the solar plexus.

Also, as for shifts, some people do not have much of a sense of self to begin with. For them, the ego often needs to be erected first for it to then be cut/seen through. And some do not have a distinct shift. It’s a slow fading away. I’m not sure what camp I am in, but there have definitely been incredible shifts throughout the life. But the mind/identity would inevitably take hold again. I came here with hopes to realize where I am in am of this, and at times can’t help but wonder if I’m kicking dead horse (forgive the horrible expression 😅)

[Anastacia42]

Thank you for responding. If you need therapy for the anxiety, do that first & come back later, since we don't do therapy here.

But see how things are after the retreat.

I have heard good things about Dillulo.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Highly recommend this:

Here is an anxiety exercise that focuses a person in the present, and in a part of the brain that cannot do anxiety. Basically, go through each sense and say (or think) "I see/ hear/ feel/ taste/ touch ______________." A minute or two of each and usually anxiety is gone.

I see the couch.
I see the keyboard.
I see the glass. Etc.

I hear the train.
I hear the keys clacking.
I hear my breath. Etc.

I feel the couch under my butt.
I feel my fingers on the keys.
I feel the cold air. Etc.

I taste a metallic taste in my mouth.
I taste the coffee.
I taste the food. Etc.

I smell the humidity in the air.
I smell my husband's shampoo.
I smell the soap. Etc.

As far as I can tell, the only time this doesn't work is when someone won't do it.

There is a Direct Looking process for fear.

https://youtu.be/jKX1llYtlKE?si=jHXuuyyVtp7c-1R2

And this one:

https://youtu.be/fSTT8nc8cvQ?si=Alcukpbi7SUlXpfi

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Remember, you can LOOK wherever you are.

Happy Turkey Day!

[Anastacia42]

How are things after the retreat?

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

Have you ghosted the thread?

Much love,

[Anastacia42]

Do you still want to be guided?