Decisions, decisions...

[Hopefulness]

Hi again,

No problem. I don't want this to become another "problem" for you when life gets hectic.
Putting aside all the work issues, have you noticed anything different? If so, say what it is. If not, then let's move on.

Similar old mind chatter trying to de-rail the investigation too.
'This is futile.. you've clearly investigated that there's no 'you' here.. but..my whole lived experience is of a 'me' having to navigate through life. 'Much anger, frustration arising.

Yes. That happens a lot. Defense mechanisms kick in trying to defend the fictional character. Just stay with it, keep chipping away, bit by bit. The false persona wasn't built in a day, and won't be disassembled in a day.

Here's a simple exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought. This exercise will put you more in touch with direct experience.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:-

Seeing a cup, simply= image/colour

Smelling coffee, simply = smell

Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation

Tasting the coffee, simply = taste

Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound

Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all actual/direct

experience) and report back how you go.

And finally, did you get my private message I sent to you from the forum about a Zoom session? Let me know. This could possibly speed things along.

[Jaz]

Thanks Paul,
Good tips about labeling or noting as the sensations and thoughts arise. Very like what I was attempting in the retreat.
Very deflating about how quickly things have gone off the rails in the eye of the storm (family dramas, jobs, stress etc).

Not much shifting. Just feels like old survival patterns re emerging to deal with life.

I will try to get back to the noting as you suggest.

Feeling very overwhelmed. Maybe that will settle. Will give it a week or so and see.
Not sure. Life just feels very reactive at present. Very hard to watch it.

I doesn't seem like I'm really able to give the investigation the focus required to warrant taking up your time.

Thanks for your invite to Skype. Maybe it's something we could look at in a few weeks if I'm able to get through this rough patch.

Thanks again for your guidance and focus. It's really been most appreciated and very good of you to help in this way.

James

[Hopefulness]

Hi again,

You're not wasting my time. Write again if any insights arise when things quiet down. I'll be around.

[Jaz]

Thanks Paul 🙏