Looking to stablize myself in inner peace

[naveenk]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is a universal consciousness like a sun which is part of all human souls. The body and mind creates an illusion that I am a seperate entity. But in reality there's no seperate self or entity. I have understood this intellectually but don't have practical experience

What are you looking for at LU?
I have been meditating for last 10 years and practicing non duality for last couple of years. I'm looking at stabilizing my intellectual understanding of non duality. I also want to actually experience what I have understood. Till the time this happens my mind keeps on getting agitated and I get anxious

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I want to experience oneness and universal consciousness. I want a simple method or tool to go back to stabilize my understanding. I also want to clarify few things. I also want a reassurance that I'm on right path.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Have been practicing meditation for last 10 years. Practiced different methods - mantra, Vipassana, heartfulness. Have been practicing self enquiry for last couple of years. Listened to, read books on and attended retreats by Rupert Spira, Mooji, Krishnamurthy, Sadguru.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self? 10

[ty0]

Hi naveenk, I'm Tyler and welcome to LU. Let me know your name if you'd like me to call you that.

Let's make a useful (yet artificial) distinction moving forward.
There are 2 parts of your experience:
1) Direct Experience (DE, 5 senses)
2) Thought.

For our investigation, orient towards DE. Thought and language are very useful tools to attempt to communicate our DE to each other, but over time we've reified things such as love, hate, bond, communism etc.. It is important to initially recognise that these concepts only exist within thought, and many concepts don't point to anything in DE. If I say "sensation of your tongue", you know what I'm referring to in DE (sense of touch). If I say "demon", there is no DE this refers to, you can only conjure up the thought of a demon. If I say "relationship", does such a thing exist in DE or only in thought?

There is a universal consciousness like a sun which is part of all human souls. The body and mind creates an illusion that I am a seperate entity. But in reality there's no seperate self or entity. I have understood this intellectually but don't have practical experience

If you've learned about something but haven't experienced it, why would you believe it to be true? If I tell you there's a tiger in your room and you look around and don't find one, will you believe me or DE? In the same fashion, forget everything you've learned about "universal consciousness" or "infinite awareness" or anything else you've heard of but haven't experienced. The fact is, they exist in your experience as concepts/ideas you can think about, but not as DE, so don't bother yourself with these mind games.

I'm looking at stabilizing my intellectual understanding of non duality

I don't believe this will be helpful to you. Is it ok if we don't do this?

I also want to actually experience what I have understood.

I'm surprised you didn't put this first hahah. Let's just focus on this.

You experience reality as if you're a separate entity even though you have learned that there is no separate self or entity. Learning the opposite view to your view will not help here. We don't want any kind of view. Let's explore in DE whether either of these views holds true:
Look for yourself. Pay attention to DE but not thoughts. Can you find "you" in DE? Ask "Where am I?" If you have the thought "This isn't helping, this is useless", note that it's a thought and return to the search. If you have the doubt "Am I doing this right?", note that this is a thought and return to the search. If you have the thought "No I can't find myself", note that this is a thought and return to the search. Keep noticing and letting go of thoughts and allow the gaps between thoughts to become longer and longer. Keep searching for yourself until the search is all there is.

Tell me how your experience goes. Can you find yourself? What do you find?

[naveenk]

Thank you Tyler. My name is Naveen. Thank you for your valuable inputs. I agree that I should just focus on DE now and don't worry too much about concepts.
When I'm sitting in silence/doing meditation I can feel there is an awareness/presence that is experiencing what is happening in my body and is also witnessing my thoughts. It seems to be always there though my attention is mostly on my body and thoughts. But when I try to ask this question where do these thoughts come from I don't get any answers but have to visualise it coming from heart as advised by some teachers. I have not tried where am I but have been working with who am I or who is experiencing these thoughts and feelings. Will try where am I and let you know my experience.
Thank you once again for your pointers

[naveenk]

While doing this excercise now I could again feel myself as someone who is witnessing/experiencing my body and thoughts. But then suddenly I got a thought I need to text someone and before I knew I started texting. Then suddenly I asked myself who took the decision to stop meditation and text to friend now. Who acted on this thought but didn't get any answer

[ty0]

Hi Naveen nice to meet you :)

When I'm sitting in silence/doing meditation I can feel there is an awareness/presence that is experiencing what is happening in my body and is also witnessing my thoughts

Try "Where is the awareness? Where is the witness?" Don't visualise thoughts coming from anywhere because all you're doing is playing with thought.

While doing this excercise now I could again feel myself as someone who is witnessing/experiencing my body and thoughts

That still isn't finding where you are, so when that comes up, let it go as a thought and continue the search. We're not interested in thought here. If you really believe "I am the one witnessing/experiencing", then where is that one witnessing/experiencing? How can you believe the existence of somethinf without finding it?

[naveenk]

Good morning. Well when I'm trying to locate myself in body initially I felt it in my mid forehead. But when I concentrate on right side of heart I feel very nice silence

[ty0]

Where is the one feeling the nice silence? Is there someone concentrating on the right side of the heart?