Evening Felicity,
Do you feel you seen through the illusion of self?
And is the seeing intellectual and/or experiential?
❤️🖖
Ready to LOOK
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi James,
It feels a bit absurd... like it was supposed to end up differently. But yes.Do you feel you seen through the illusion of self?
It's ONLY experiential. Every time the mind gets involved and tries to "test it" intellectually, it's "gone". Funny little party trick.And is the seeing intellectual and/or experiential?
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi Felicity,
Since you've seen through self, how does this affect the idea of responsibility?
❤️🖖
Since you've seen through self, how does this affect the idea of responsibility?
❤️🖖
Re: Ready to LOOK
LOL. It's just an idea... a thought. And, side note, believing in it appears to keep shame alive and well.
Everything is happening. There's no doer to "take responsibility" or be a piece of shit for "not taking responsibility."
It doesn't matter what the word "means"... it's just a word. Pointing to a thought. The thought is real. What it points to is not.
Everything is happening. There's no doer to "take responsibility" or be a piece of shit for "not taking responsibility."
It doesn't matter what the word "means"... it's just a word. Pointing to a thought. The thought is real. What it points to is not.
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Evening Felicity,
It seems to me you've seen through self.
There's a set of questions that I can give you.
You're answers are then circulated amongst other guides to see if they agree you've seen through self.
They may come back with additional questions.
If all goes well, you then get access to additional parts of LU and a Facebook group.
We'll talk through all that later.
Would you like the questions?
❤️🖖
It seems to me you've seen through self.
There's a set of questions that I can give you.
You're answers are then circulated amongst other guides to see if they agree you've seen through self.
They may come back with additional questions.
If all goes well, you then get access to additional parts of LU and a Facebook group.
We'll talk through all that later.
Would you like the questions?
❤️🖖
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi James,
Let's do it!
Thank you so very much... this has all been nothing like what was expected. And perfect.
Let's do it!
Thank you so very much... this has all been nothing like what was expected. And perfect.
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi Felicity,
Ok here are the questions.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.
b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
6) Anything to add?
❤️🖖
Ok here are the questions.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.
b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
6) Anything to add?
❤️🖖
Re: Ready to LOOK
Good Morning James & other guides!
In actual experience, now, when thoughts are noticed and seen as simply thoughts, there is no illusion of independent self. They are simply thoughts appearing and disappearing on their own. On the other hand, this morning, my daughter woke up in a sad and grouchy mood... a thought arose, "She's always complaining and mopey!" and a sensation of contraction arose in the body. The thought wasn't seen right away, and so a cascade of other thoughts followed like, "she never lets me just enjoy a peaceful morning" and "I wish she'd leave me alone." These thoughts weren't noticed and so it was as if they were reality. There arose a thought of ME that was standing in opposition to a HER. It was as real as could be. And as soon as it was noticed what was going on, the story didn't matter. The whole ME vs HER thought instantly fell away because it was so clearly made up. And it was even fine that it was made up. It's just a thing that happens sometimes.
There is sitting here at this desk. Typing fingers. Sounds of talking from the next room. A thought comes, "These are MY Hands typing on MY keyboard." Instantly, there is a feeling of getting sucked into the body. The familiar "ME" experience that felt so very real. All it takes is a thought. Believing it. Following it. Thought cascade happens. And it's like a trance.
After seeing through this illusion, I see how I was relating to that "sucked into the body" feeling as ME and the "real experience" and "reality" and anytime I was not "selfing" there would be such a sense of peace, but then a thought would arise that would say, "I gotta get back to that!" It was as though it was some kind of an altered, more desirable state that could be reached with enough concentration and just the right settings, rather than... well... how it always simply is when thoughts aren't followed and believed to be reality.
Life is uncomplicated now that this is seen. What could possibly be complicated without believing thought? Thoughts will be believed again... well-worn patterns in this organism will be set into motion. And there is no concern about that happening. Now that there is no belief in those patterns and thoughts being ME, they aren't a problem anymore. There's no shitty me to fix and make better because she always does (insert pattern of thought/behavior). With nothing to fix, life just lives. Experiences arise. Everything happens.
A retreat opportunity just went live from a respected teacher just moments ago. There's NO drive to go. THIS IS A MAJOR shift. Retreats were kind of the "drug of choice" for this character. A retreat in December is already paid for. We'll see what happens. But there's no need to learn or achieve or understand anything more. There's no magical or mystical experience that's going to "make everything click into place and make sense." LOL.
After that post, I sat down and invited the fear. There was a big emotional release that I could label grief. It didn't last longer than 5 minutes, which was surprising.
Over the next 24 hours, things seemed to get more and more relaxed. The seeking thoughts were lessening.
A weird thing happened... I saw the face of a woman I had met and connected with at a retreat on a thumbnail on YouTube. It surprised me to see her, so I clicked on it and proceeded to watch her engage in a 1-on-1 conversation with a nonduality teacher for over an hour. But what was so striking was that I wasn't trying to figure anything out or get enlightened. I was listening to her and shocked to see how the seeking mechanism blocks... being. Like the Felicity character, this woman knew ALL THE THINGS. She "understood" completely. He was guiding her to being and she kept replying with things like, "Well, I can't wait until I can get there." I couldn't look away. Holy shit... this is how it was happening. In the looking to find something, I was constantly losing DIRECT FREAKING CONTACT WITH REALITY. Over and over and over and over a million times until forever. It was just so strange and so funny, and so so obvious. And that that moment felt like a kind of confirmation. It was like a mirror.
-A thought can arise that "I intend to do XYZ", but it just that... a thought. Who the hell knows what will actually happen. Problems arise when the intention is taken seriously, expectations are created for how things "should have gone" and identification as a failure occurs. (sad trombone)
-Free will is an idea. Actions and thoughts are not controlled by a "doer" here. They just happen spontaneously.
-Things happen because they're happening. LOL. (The word "because" doesn't work in that sentence, but oh well.) I don't know how it works. I actually don't care how it works. It works.
Examples:
-The hand flips on its own, even when I tell it not to.
-Some mysterious something types these words, occasionally goes backs and removes words/replaces them with other words. No typer, thinker, doer is here.
-The body gets up and goes to the kitchen to eat. Goes to the restroom. Looks outside when it hears a sound. There are no decisions being made here.
Responsibility is an idea that says characters are real "doers" who have control over their actions. This is just an idea. A thought. This is not what is experienced directly.
This morning, in the situation with my daughter, the thought storm that appeared about her being "mopey" and "a complainer" appeared without a thinker thinking them. The subsequent actions taken by this body (walking away from her with a huff, talking in an angry tone of voice, etc.) happened without a doer doing them. Yes, it was THIS body that took those actions, apparently. But there's no "ME" to "take responsibility" in some kind of judgmental way. It happened. It was experienced. The end. No story required. No heroes. No villains. No "responsible people" or "irresponsible people".
The children live here in this house. Somehow, they keep getting fed and clothed and cared for. But there's no need to hold onto some kind of idea of being a "responsible parent" in order for those things to happen. In fact, all of that thinking and selfing just gets in the way of ease and enjoyment of what is.
This also means that when my kids whine and complain, they are not "responsible" either. Yes, those noises are coming from those little bodies that live in this house. But there are no separate selves "inside" the little bodies... no little "doers" doing things to irritate their mother.
1) The desire to understand what is happening (and the sneaky belief that this character surely WOULD understand once it was seen clearly that there is no separate self) is a trap. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. It's fine. Trying to understand is a diversion... a thought.
2)The belief that selfing is reality, with periodic moments of the relief of just being is a trap. It's clear that the selfing... all the thoughts... are just diversions from reality. And they're fine. But when believed, it's like being in a trance.
3) There's no need to get rid of or transform any of the patterns of behavior that appear here. Furthermore, there's no doer to do it anyway!
There's probably like 10 more, but that's good enough. I've tried not to write responses with "I", but sometimes it didn't happen that way. Like in that last sentence LOL.
Finally - my guide, James, was a perfect fit for what was needed. He refused to sign off on any of my drama and walked alongside me, intuitively knowing just what was needed in each moment and delivering it with surgical precision. Genius. There's so much love and gratitude for him.
No. There's no such thing as a separate self. There never was.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
There is no direct experience here of how the illusion "originally" came into being, they would only be stories that describe a logical way that likely happened through parental conditioning due to their own belief in self.2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
In actual experience, now, when thoughts are noticed and seen as simply thoughts, there is no illusion of independent self. They are simply thoughts appearing and disappearing on their own. On the other hand, this morning, my daughter woke up in a sad and grouchy mood... a thought arose, "She's always complaining and mopey!" and a sensation of contraction arose in the body. The thought wasn't seen right away, and so a cascade of other thoughts followed like, "she never lets me just enjoy a peaceful morning" and "I wish she'd leave me alone." These thoughts weren't noticed and so it was as if they were reality. There arose a thought of ME that was standing in opposition to a HER. It was as real as could be. And as soon as it was noticed what was going on, the story didn't matter. The whole ME vs HER thought instantly fell away because it was so clearly made up. And it was even fine that it was made up. It's just a thing that happens sometimes.
There is sitting here at this desk. Typing fingers. Sounds of talking from the next room. A thought comes, "These are MY Hands typing on MY keyboard." Instantly, there is a feeling of getting sucked into the body. The familiar "ME" experience that felt so very real. All it takes is a thought. Believing it. Following it. Thought cascade happens. And it's like a trance.
After seeing through this illusion, I see how I was relating to that "sucked into the body" feeling as ME and the "real experience" and "reality" and anytime I was not "selfing" there would be such a sense of peace, but then a thought would arise that would say, "I gotta get back to that!" It was as though it was some kind of an altered, more desirable state that could be reached with enough concentration and just the right settings, rather than... well... how it always simply is when thoughts aren't followed and believed to be reality.
Life is uncomplicated now that this is seen. What could possibly be complicated without believing thought? Thoughts will be believed again... well-worn patterns in this organism will be set into motion. And there is no concern about that happening. Now that there is no belief in those patterns and thoughts being ME, they aren't a problem anymore. There's no shitty me to fix and make better because she always does (insert pattern of thought/behavior). With nothing to fix, life just lives. Experiences arise. Everything happens.
A retreat opportunity just went live from a respected teacher just moments ago. There's NO drive to go. THIS IS A MAJOR shift. Retreats were kind of the "drug of choice" for this character. A retreat in December is already paid for. We'll see what happens. But there's no need to learn or achieve or understand anything more. There's no magical or mystical experience that's going to "make everything click into place and make sense." LOL.
It feels peaceful. Calm. Spacious. There is a sense of freedom... a loosening of tension. There were so many analyses constantly running to try to figure things out. Especially about the subjects of waking up, parenting, and family obligations. Without the drive to "DO" all those things well, it feels a bit like the day after graduation or quitting a stressful job. Where that old thought arises: "Oh crap... I need to get to work on (searches for something that has surely fallen through the cracks and needs to get done ASAP!)". It's like there's a underlying clenching and searching going on in the background at all times. Making sure everything gets done and the character is safe. But then it's seen that there's nothing to do. And it just sort of feels like "Ahhhhhh".3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It's not clear exactly the moment it happened. I commented to James that with each post and exercise he sent, it felt like he was shutting down my old escape routes one by one. But when I reread one of my posts about the fear of being perceived as "bad", I clearly saw 2 things: 1) An avoidance to be with this fear and 2)A crazy, illogical belief that if I somehow kept the belief in a separate self, that somehow I could control how others perceived me. LOLLL.4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?
After that post, I sat down and invited the fear. There was a big emotional release that I could label grief. It didn't last longer than 5 minutes, which was surprising.
Over the next 24 hours, things seemed to get more and more relaxed. The seeking thoughts were lessening.
A weird thing happened... I saw the face of a woman I had met and connected with at a retreat on a thumbnail on YouTube. It surprised me to see her, so I clicked on it and proceeded to watch her engage in a 1-on-1 conversation with a nonduality teacher for over an hour. But what was so striking was that I wasn't trying to figure anything out or get enlightened. I was listening to her and shocked to see how the seeking mechanism blocks... being. Like the Felicity character, this woman knew ALL THE THINGS. She "understood" completely. He was guiding her to being and she kept replying with things like, "Well, I can't wait until I can get there." I couldn't look away. Holy shit... this is how it was happening. In the looking to find something, I was constantly losing DIRECT FREAKING CONTACT WITH REALITY. Over and over and over and over a million times until forever. It was just so strange and so funny, and so so obvious. And that that moment felt like a kind of confirmation. It was like a mirror.
-Decisions are made in the moment, spontaneously... on their own.5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.
-A thought can arise that "I intend to do XYZ", but it just that... a thought. Who the hell knows what will actually happen. Problems arise when the intention is taken seriously, expectations are created for how things "should have gone" and identification as a failure occurs. (sad trombone)
-Free will is an idea. Actions and thoughts are not controlled by a "doer" here. They just happen spontaneously.
-Things happen because they're happening. LOL. (The word "because" doesn't work in that sentence, but oh well.) I don't know how it works. I actually don't care how it works. It works.
Examples:
-The hand flips on its own, even when I tell it not to.
-Some mysterious something types these words, occasionally goes backs and removes words/replaces them with other words. No typer, thinker, doer is here.
-The body gets up and goes to the kitchen to eat. Goes to the restroom. Looks outside when it hears a sound. There are no decisions being made here.
Who?b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
Responsibility is an idea that says characters are real "doers" who have control over their actions. This is just an idea. A thought. This is not what is experienced directly.
This morning, in the situation with my daughter, the thought storm that appeared about her being "mopey" and "a complainer" appeared without a thinker thinking them. The subsequent actions taken by this body (walking away from her with a huff, talking in an angry tone of voice, etc.) happened without a doer doing them. Yes, it was THIS body that took those actions, apparently. But there's no "ME" to "take responsibility" in some kind of judgmental way. It happened. It was experienced. The end. No story required. No heroes. No villains. No "responsible people" or "irresponsible people".
The children live here in this house. Somehow, they keep getting fed and clothed and cared for. But there's no need to hold onto some kind of idea of being a "responsible parent" in order for those things to happen. In fact, all of that thinking and selfing just gets in the way of ease and enjoyment of what is.
This also means that when my kids whine and complain, they are not "responsible" either. Yes, those noises are coming from those little bodies that live in this house. But there are no separate selves "inside" the little bodies... no little "doers" doing things to irritate their mother.
There were lots of traps that were seen...6) Anything to add?
1) The desire to understand what is happening (and the sneaky belief that this character surely WOULD understand once it was seen clearly that there is no separate self) is a trap. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS. It's fine. Trying to understand is a diversion... a thought.
2)The belief that selfing is reality, with periodic moments of the relief of just being is a trap. It's clear that the selfing... all the thoughts... are just diversions from reality. And they're fine. But when believed, it's like being in a trance.
3) There's no need to get rid of or transform any of the patterns of behavior that appear here. Furthermore, there's no doer to do it anyway!
There's probably like 10 more, but that's good enough. I've tried not to write responses with "I", but sometimes it didn't happen that way. Like in that last sentence LOL.
Finally - my guide, James, was a perfect fit for what was needed. He refused to sign off on any of my drama and walked alongside me, intuitively knowing just what was needed in each moment and delivering it with surgical precision. Genius. There's so much love and gratitude for him.
Re: Ready to LOOK
After posting, I just reread what I wrote, and wanted to add that when I yelled that I was, "constantly losing DIRECT FREAKING CONTACT WITH REALITY"... that's not right.
That's impossible, in fact.
It's just that believing the thoughts that said I needed to keep seeking obscured the ALWAYS AND CONSTANT FREAKING REALITY THAT IS JUST THIIIIIIIISSSSSSS RIGHT HERE! 🤣 Like clouds obscuring a beautiful blue sky that was always there.
That's impossible, in fact.
It's just that believing the thoughts that said I needed to keep seeking obscured the ALWAYS AND CONSTANT FREAKING REALITY THAT IS JUST THIIIIIIIISSSSSSS RIGHT HERE! 🤣 Like clouds obscuring a beautiful blue sky that was always there.
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hello Felicity,
Loved your answers.
They've been circulated, we both await the response.
Welcome to the beginning.
❤️🖖
Loved your answers.
They've been circulated, we both await the response.
Welcome to the beginning.
❤️🖖
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Afternoon Felicity,
A guide has a question for you -
❤️🖖
A guide has a question for you -
In your intro, you say you expect to be treated with respect. Is this expectation still there? If you were to start another thread on LU now, would you still say the same thing?
❤️🖖
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi James,
That's so funny, I've actually thought about that comment several times over the course of this conversation. Love this question.
"Respect"... what does it even mean? It's an idea (a thought!) full of a separate "you" self who can be mean or rude or somehow in opposition to a separate "me" self and hurt my selfy little feelings. A gross expectation that my guide's actions will somehow match my made-up story about how good people behave. (Barf) Not real.
NO. That expectation is not still there and I would not still say the same thing if I were starting a new thread. What a relief.
That's so funny, I've actually thought about that comment several times over the course of this conversation. Love this question.
"Respect"... what does it even mean? It's an idea (a thought!) full of a separate "you" self who can be mean or rude or somehow in opposition to a separate "me" self and hurt my selfy little feelings. A gross expectation that my guide's actions will somehow match my made-up story about how good people behave. (Barf) Not real.
NO. That expectation is not still there and I would not still say the same thing if I were starting a new thread. What a relief.
-
jrm72
Re: Ready to LOOK
Hi Felicity,
All confirmed 🥳
You will receive a message from admin about what happens next.
Your name will turn blue and you will get access to other sections of LU and a Facebook page.
You can guide now if you want, admin can give you info on what to do.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
All confirmed 🥳
You will receive a message from admin about what happens next.
Your name will turn blue and you will get access to other sections of LU and a Facebook page.
You can guide now if you want, admin can give you info on what to do.
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Re: Ready to LOOK
Wow! Thank you so much, James. What a weird week it's been. And wonderful.
Grateful for you and your guidance. Much love.❤️
Grateful for you and your guidance. Much love.❤️
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