There is no separate I anywhere, there never was.1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
The illusion of the separate self arises when a thought arises, we ascribe it to an 'I'. So every thought that pops up reinforces the illusory self. Choices and decisions are made like a thought popping up and we then ascribe it to an 'I' making it. The body moves and we ascribe it to an 'I' moving the body. It probably starts before 2 years old when I child begins to know its name.2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
As far as I remember, I do not have self referential thoughts, but maybe it further diminished with spiritual practices in the last 2 decades. During the Finders Course, I recognised that there is only the seeing and hearing and there is no seer or hearer. However, I still felt I was making decisions and have control. Then a couple of exercises helped me to see that 'I ' had no control over thoughts, choices and decisions. The more I look for the controller, the clearer it is that I have no control.3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It seems like I already have some recognition that there is no self, but the last elements became clearer with your help. So it wasn't a big shift but an incremental shift. So now its more often that I see my body moving like on auto and life is just unfolding.
The exercise looking for the controller.4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Decision - as in the 2 drinks exercise, attributes of the options pops up from past experiences and cultural influences, then thoughts arise about relative merits. Finally a preference pops up and a decision is made. There is no one making the decision.5) Describe
- decision,
- intention,
- free will,
- choice and control.
Similarly, for intention, free will, choice and control, we mistakenly perceive an 'I' doing them. But in truth, life is just unfolding and there is no one having intention, free will, choice and control.
Wow that's a big question. All I can see is life is just unfolding. My habits, past experiences, social and cultural conditioning leads to thoughts popping up that might affect the unfolding and how life shows up. Thoughts popping up like in the 2 drinks exercise.What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from experience.
As there is no I, there is no one to be responsible for anything. Life is just happening and unfolding.What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Seeing more clearly that there is no 'I' that controls, has lead to less contraction, more ease, more spaciousness and more allowing of life to just unfold.6) Anything to add?
Many thanks for your pointing. With gratitude.
Alan
