What do I do now?

[NoMansLand]

Hi Declan,
Great clarity.

There are always doubts

So what are these doubts?
Is there anything specific that you'd like to talk about? Anything to explore?

And - are these doubts yours?
Are doubts your responsibility to solve?
What are doubts - are they just thoughts with the label "doubt" or something else that has an actual influence on what is?
Are they different than other thoughts?

Are YOU responsible for anything at all?
What is outside of "this" that is trying to solve doubts or awaken?
What is outside of "this" that is trying to solve problems?

And awaken to what exactly? Is there an awakening in the future? Is there anything that awakens?

Sometimes seeking is happening.

What is the seeking about?
Is seeking yours?
Can anything be truly ever lost or found?

Sometimes thoughts arise that seem to demand attention, I don’t know if this is problematic.

Of course, the attention to thoughts will still happen, the thoughts will continue to arise and vanish, and some might be problematic, or not. But are they arising for anybody at all? Is there an actual owner, thinker, controller, problem-solver?

Best,
Adam

[Declan]

Hey Adam


Nothing specific but thank you. No, doubts are just like other thoughts but with the label “ doubt” - they are not mine to solve.


Nothing can ever be truly lost or found but sometimes thought or subconscious or whatever creates a feeling of dissatisfaction, a feeling that there is something “better” to find. It’s an illusion.


There is no owner, thinker, controller or problem solver.

Thank you,

Declan


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[NoMansLand]

Hi Declan,
Overall we’ve been through a thorough investigation. Great job at being honest and diligent and sticking to it!

Nothing can ever be truly lost or found but sometimes thought or subconscious or whatever creates a feeling of dissatisfaction, a feeling that there is something “better” to find. It’s an illusion.

Is the feeling created with a thought or subconscious - are you sure about that? Can you be sure about that? What is actually happening? Or is it more like the feeling arises and a thought arises to label that “this is dissatisfaction” or “there must be something better”?

We have some traditional final questions.
Do you feel ready to receive the final questions?
If you feel ready I will forward them and then forward your answers to other guides to review.

Best,
Adam

[Declan]

I feel ready for the final questions.

Thanks for everything Adam


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[NoMansLand]

Declan,
Fantastic. Here are the questions. Please answer each of them separately, so it's easier for other guides to read through.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

ANSWER:

Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

ANSWER:

How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

ANSWER:

What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

ANSWER:

Describe decision & give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

Describe intention & give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

Describe free will & give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

Describe choice & give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

Describe control & give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

What makes things happen? How does it work?

ANSWER:

What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

ANSWER:

Anything to add?

ANSWER:


Best,
Adam

[Declan]

Dear Adam,

Thank you for it seems kind of pointless answering questions about the self now but I promise I’ll get around to them over the next few days. The answers will happen .

Thanks for guiding me.

Declan


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[Declan]

Hey Adam


1) no

2) The illusion is a collection of thoughts but more importantly there seems to be a narrator who creates and controls these thoughts. Backed up by a body and a head that seems to receive sensory information.
As I see it now it’s and illusion, but I still believe the illusion a lot of the time - without thinking, I presume there’s a me.


1) it’s quite ordinary and profound at the same time. It just feels like a different perspective from the start of this dialogue but perspective is an illusion as well. The last few days have just felt calmer.

2) I really don’t know. I think it was trading Loch Kelly’s book “Shift into Freedom”.

More to follow.

Declan


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[Declan]

Dear Adam,

I will leave our conversation here without answering the remaining questions. I hope this doesn’t seem ungrateful- it feels like the right thing to do.

My deep gratitude to you for guiding me through this with patience and care.

Declan


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[NoMansLand]

Hi Declan,
I strongly suggest you answer to the remaining questions.

It's all done for your benefit, and it will also check up on my own guidance if I haven't missed anything.

Plus it opens the door to the aftercare for the gatecrashers on Facebook and Zoom meetings.
So whenever problems come up you can find a way out of them again. Seeing is usually not 24/7, and there is a period of stabilization that's needed, and having a community might help you out a ton.

They also help me get a closure and finish the topic.

So yeah, I'd suggest you go through with it anyway.
What's your decision?

Best,
Adam

[Declan]

Thanks Adam. I’ll look at the remaining questions again and let you know.

Thank you

Declan


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[Declan]

Hey Adam,

Here are the last few questions


Decision is the illusion that I make a choice or intentional to do a particular thing or take a particular action. For instance, I’m telling myself that I decided to answer these last few questions - but there’s no evidence that “I” decided anything. It happened.

Intention is similar but it’s set more in the future. It’s my intention to meet my friend Michael at 4pm. It’s a plan. We sent each other messages. I don’t care much if it’s real or not. I don’t know how else to describe it. None of this makes much sense, as in, what’s real, what’s direct experience. An intention is a collection of thoughts giving me the illusion that I’ve planned to do something in the future (which doesn’t exist).


Free will is thought telling me that I have choice and that I make decisions. But I don’t know if I have free will or not, I don’t really care. If things happen to set pattern or not, it doesn’t interest me.

Choice I’ve already written about. It’s a nice illusion that says coffee or tea - what do I prefer? It’s not real.


Control is similar to choice, decision, intention. The illusion that I have influence over what happens. It feels like I can direct my attention to hearing or seeing, if this is control then that’s fine. I don’t care about control.

I have no idea what makes things happen. They happen. That’s all I know. I have no idea how “it” works and I don’t know what “it” is.


Hmmm. Don’t know what I’m responsible for. I could say I’m responsible for nothing because I don’t exist but really I think I’m responsible for being as authentic and truthful as I can be, even if that’s an illusion

Anything else?
Thank you

Declan


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[NoMansLand]

Hi Declan,
Thanks for posting your answers.

There is much newfound clarity in your words, but also a few things I'd love to clarify before I pass on your answers to other guides. Please bear with me here.

"As I see it now it’s and illusion, but I still believe the illusion a lot of the time - without thinking, I presume there’s a me."

So recognition of illusion has happened, but you still believe it a lot of time.
What is that "presuming" but another thought that arises?
Is it different than any other thought?
What is outside of reality and in need of figuring it out?
To whom could possibly awakening happen to?

" But I don’t know if I have free will or not, I don’t really care. If things happen to set pattern or not, it doesn’t interest me. "

Can an "I" thought be an owner of anything – be it free will or a lack of free will?
Is there anything that is being actually disinterested, or just a thought of "no interest"?

"It feels like I can direct my attention to hearing or seeing, if this is control then that’s fine. I don’t care about control. "

Close your eyes and sit quietly for 10-15 minutes.
Watch what focus does.
Focus on focusing, attention itself.
Do you move it, or it moves by itself?
Hold focus on breath - see how it moves to thoughts, sensations, feelings, sounds.
Is this something you control?
What moves attention?
Can anything be found that moves attention, or does attention/focus move on its own?
Is thought in control of attention?

Remember, the subtle nihilism is fine, but it also must be seen through as yet another thought that arises and vanishes, otherwise you just believe there is no you – which is just replacing a belief with another.

" I think I’m responsible for being as authentic and truthful as I can be "

Is there a center that decides being "authentic" or "truthful" is a way to go, or does it just arise as a thought right now?
Is there an actual controller that can choose to be truthful or authentic in a moment, or is it just part of the story?
How exactly are you being authentic vs not authentic?
How do you make it happen?
Are you the thinker of thoughts?

Best,
Adam

[Declan]

My apologies Adam but that’s all the questions that I want to answer.

Once again, I really appreciate your guidance.

Best,

Declan


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[NoMansLand]

I see. Very well.
If you ever feel like coming back to finish this, just reply in this thread.

Best,
Adam

[Declan]

Thank you


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