Explorer

[Elad]

Elad, in stillness, there is noticing of movement, which seems like aliveness. The wind blows and the leaves on the trees dance. Who knows where the wind comes from? Something is breathing this body, the chest rises and falls. I have no idea what makes movement happen. But I know there is movement. AKA Life Force Energy? Oops. Departure from pure experience, I know, know… A concept of my mind.

Lovely, this is great noticing here. Please do this exercise:

Drink Exercise

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.
Here's what’s needed - a chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.
Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.
Experiment - Finding the function of choice
Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:
1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.
2. Count to 5.
3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.
Questions:
Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.
In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?
In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting? Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like?
Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the ‘choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to ‘choose’?

[Elad]

Ps. It can be a good inquiry to ask: What is moving or what is movement? When we don't go to thinking about it, just attend, look. However, for the purposes of our exploration here, the main inquiry is: is there a self found that moves, that chooses, etc.

[alexa123]

Ps. It can be a good inquiry to ask: What is moving or what is movement? When we don't go to thinking about it, just attend, look. However, for the purposes of our exploration here, the main inquiry is: is there a self found that moves, that chooses, etc.

Elad, what do you actually mean by self?

[Elad]

Ps. It can be a good inquiry to ask: What is moving or what is movement? When we don't go to thinking about it, just attend, look. However, for the purposes of our exploration here, the main inquiry is: is there a self found that moves, that chooses, etc.

Elad, what do you actually mean by self?

Alexa, the only thing that matters here is what you take to be a self, what you take to be Alexa. Is there something real it refers to, something that can choose and control?

[alexa123]

It doesn't seem like there's an Alexa [an entity] that can choose, and definitely doesn't control [anything].

The drink exercise. My hand reached for coffee, not water.

[alexa123]

Elad,

It seems like I'm thinking about this exploration, and not looking, doing it wrong. Oh here's a DE, this body-mind is paying attention to thinking, "I'm not doing it right," the DE thing.

[Elad]

Elad,

It seems like I'm thinking about this exploration, and not looking, doing it wrong. Oh here's a DE, this body-mind is paying attention to thinking, "I'm not doing it right," the DE thing.

Your answers to the exercise indicate paying attention well, then thoughts question and doubt what is seen. This is not unusual.

Is there a self anywhere?

The more you get curious about this question, the better. More important than any beliefs and ideas about what is going on with you.

Let's continue to this exercise:

[Elad]

Finding the Gap

This exercise has a dual purpose. Firstly, to become aware of each and every though as they appear. Secondly, the careful looking for the gap is an example of how carefully to look when looking for the ‘separate self’.
Here is a step-by-step description of how to look at thoughts. First thing is to sit for at least 10-15 minutes quietly somewhere, several times throughout your day. Close your eyes and just notice thoughts. Don’t engage with any thought, just notice them.

1. Notice the current thought that is present.
Like when you sit observing the body, a thought might arise “this is my feet” or “here is a pain” or “my breathing is too quick” or “I am bored with this exercise” or “I have better things to do” or any sorts of thoughts.
2. This thought will pass and another thought will come. So just observe this thought passing.
3. Then wait for the next thought to come.
4. When the next thought is present, just notice it, and see how it passes.
5. Then wait for the next thought to come.
6. Repeat #4 and #5 many-many times.

Between the 2 thoughts there is a gap. It can be very short or subtle, just a second or a few seconds before the next thought come in.
This is how to look at thoughts:-
Looking how they come and go, and Observing the short gap between them. Noticing how the current thought is passing. And waiting for the next thought to come.
Please do the following exercise:
Throughout your waking day, try to observe the gap between thoughts as often as possible. It can be done by noticing that ‘thinking’ is happening right now, then stop and just simply wait for the next thought to come. In the ‘waiting’ there is a gap between two thoughts.

Let me know how you go.

[alexa123]

Elan,

It did seem challenging to not “investigate“ the content of the thinking.

I did notice a gap, and most of the time it was very subtle , and yes, the gap felt very short.
A couple of times I noticed my attention move from an awareness of thought, to an awareness of a body part say. In those instances, it seemed like a larger gap before the next thought arose.

[Elad]

Elan,

It did seem challenging to not “investigate“ the content of the thinking.

I did notice a gap, and most of the time it was very subtle , and yes, the gap felt very short.
A couple of times I noticed my attention move from an awareness of thought, to an awareness of a body part say. In those instances, it seemed like a larger gap before the next thought arose.

Great, this is good noticing here. Please continue to this exercise:

Observing thoughts

Here is a thought exercise. Sit quietly for about 30 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
Can you predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

[alexa123]

Hello Elan:

thanks for your patience as this unfolds... I'm enjoying [surprise] this investigation, and at times not as much, ha, ha!

Where are they coming from and going to? I don't and suspect can't know
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear? who is "you"? no entity that can do this... that seems to be able to be found
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead? you=some wizard or magician?
Can you predict your next thought? there is no "me"

the questions seem redundant here...
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?
It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

It was mind blowing. About a year ago I saw that a belief or concept accepted was "I" am the creator of "my" thinking was completely untrue. It took quite a few months I think to sink in.

[Elad]

This is great!

1) So just to make sure, when you say there is no me, so no control of thoughts, this also goes for movement, choices, attention and sensations, right?

Please check.

2) Is it just a logical conclusion that you can't control thought (and all the rest), or is it direct experience?

I.e:

There is no me so I cannot control anything = a logical conclusion, true but will not necessarily make a difference

Looking at how thoughts come and go and *seeing* that it's all spontaneous emergence = direct experience, transformative

[alexa123]

Yes, Elad, I think I see the difference between logical, just makes sense and DE.

So this afternoon, I went out in the backyard and sat on a lawn chair. Oh, the weather was beautiful and it was so relaxing. Just saying.

I found myself looking at the roof, noticing the covers over the gutters. Maybe there was some feeling like oh, I’m glad there’s something there to keep the leaves out. But I could’ve had any number of thoughts about the gutters. I didn’t choose the thought. And that thought went away, on its own. But as I am now writing this to you, a thought popped in. Why didn’t I wonder if those Leaf protectors were in good shape? Or now as I think about it I can’t remember who installed them that thought didn’t rise two hours ago when I was sitting in the yard but here it is now. If when my eye caught a glimpse of the gutter, if I had said to myself, don’t think about gutters, that would’ve been impossible. And even “look somewhere else“ unless there was a loud noise, who knows where my gaze would’ve gone next. Utterly out of my control.

Honestly, Elad, I wonder if I’m kind of lazy, as if I don’t want to slow down and take the time to notice, to look, to do these DE exercises. Or are we so conditioned to rely on the intellect, that that’s what we do, and we miss this deeper experience of what is really here, in reality.

[Elad]

This is great! This real questioning and noticing new aspects of reality is the heart of the process.

Do this exercise. Sit still with closed eyes, relax and let go of activity, then at certain points choose a number (here is me doing it a few times: (14, 77,12, 14). Each time "you choose a number" look to: where did it come from, what decided it, how, was there a self? After each number let go and relax and be still before again "choosing" a number.

Try it also one time where you write down each number that comes up.

Write me some numbers and observations what is seen doing this.

[alexa123]

Hello Elad and good morning… wherever you are in the world, what ever time zone you’re in,

Numbers. 44, 7, 123, 8

44 popped into awareness. Out of the blue as they say. I have no idea where it came from. Same with 7. Thought said “you “ like double digits, that’s why “you” chose 44. No, 44 arose in awareness and THEN the mind came in and said, you like double digits. Now, right now, there is a mild nausea in the stomach as 44 is considered. Interesting to note that new and different stories are concocted in attempts to explain things that seem to be just happening. There is no me creating nausea as 44 is contemplated.

Next the eyes gazed at the keyboard and saw .?123. So 123 was typed. What/ who caused the eyes to look to that area of the keyboard? There is no-thing or no-one to be found that is doing the looking.

Thank you Elad. What part of the world are you in?