I have a pain in my face with Spirituality, I’m going home.

[Truthfull]

So I pondered point 3, no self a good few times. It has no real effect on me. There is some minor releaf but then negative thoughts come in to complain. Then they are seen and normality returns. But still no awakening.

[Truthfull]

Just to add one thing. There is a flavour of surrender to it. It’s not somthing I can surrender. It’s like something else has to do it. Maybe God.

[Elad]

What is the suffering that would need to be ebraced for true availability of heart to be present? Try answer with your whole heart on behalf of you and the child you once were.

And keep questioning all your beliefs. Including the belief that you are not awake, or that you from a not awake perspective know if you are awake or not. Question all beliefs.

[Truthfull]

The suffering seems to be a lot of anger, shame and sadness underneath it. This all feels separating. I never had a chance, also came up.

I will keep questioning beliefs.

I’m sick at the miniute, just incase I’m slower to respond. 👍🏼

[Elad]

The suffering seems to be a lot of anger, shame and sadness underneath it. This all feels separating. I never had a chance, also came up.

I will keep questioning beliefs.

I’m sick at the miniute, just incase I’m slower to respond. 👍🏼

Thank you for the sharing, yes please continue looking like this. And wish you gentleness and care with body and mind.

Also, please sit for thirty minutes with straight back (if possible without harshness) facing a bare wall. Just see what comes up and keep looking for: what is controlling/deciding all the stuff that is taken to be self (thoughts, feelings, states, convictions). Even if you think you know keep looking. No belief is an answer. Write me what is experienced.

And thank you for giving heads up that answer times might be slower.

[Truthfull]

I did the meditation and there were list of thoughts and stories. To answer your question. Awareness seems to be deciding all the thoughts, etc.

[Elad]

I did the meditation and there were list of thoughts and stories. To answer your question. Awareness seems to be deciding all the thoughts, etc.

How is awareness "doing" that?

"Seems" is a telltale word that you are probably lost in imagination.

Please do the exercise again. Remember no word answer really matter or is it if there is not a shift of experience to seeing through identification with thoughts and particularly the I-thought.

[Truthfull]

Ok I’ll do it a few time tonight and tomorrow. 👍🏼

[Elad]

Ok I’ll do it a few time tonight and tomorrow. 👍🏼

Great.

And continue to see whatever comes up in the process in real time: thoughts, feelings, sensations. Whatever comes up is what calls to be seen and accepted, and is a door to recognize no-self, the spontaneous arising of experience without controlling agent.

[Truthfull]

Nothing to report yet. Done it a few times, but day dreaming about sex happens. It has a body pull more than most thoughts. I’ll keep doing the sitting.

[Elad]

Nothing to report yet. Done it a few times, but day dreaming about sex happens. It has a body pull more than most thoughts. I’ll keep doing the sitting.

Okay :)

[Elad]

Nothing to report yet. Done it a few times, but day dreaming about sex happens. It has a body pull more than most thoughts. I’ll keep doing the sitting.

Okay :)

If your feel like it, play with this exercise too:

Change letters

Throughout the day, when a thought about "I" comes up, replace the letter!
"I want to have this" ->
"O want to have this"
Can "O" want to have anything?
No.
How then could "I" want to have anything?
"I don't like that" ->
"A don't like that"
Can "A" dislike anything?
No.
How come there is an idea that "I" can dislike anything?

Observe this throughout the day and report what comes up!

[Truthfull]

It feels like conditioning is just happening. There is no I doing it. I had a small argument with my wife and it felt like two conditions were arguing. What I was could watch it. With awareness it never gets of the ground or out of hand. The argument felt natural with no (we should not be arguing). O just wanted to tell you this. 😂

[Truthfull]

I will investigate this I more. I and P are equal. When one says I, it has nice. But when one says p, it does not. So I’ll look into this juce given to I.

[Elad]

It feels like conditioning is just happening. There is no I doing it. I had a small argument with my wife and it felt like two conditions were arguing. What I was could watch it. With awareness it never gets of the ground or out of hand. The argument felt natural with no (we should not be arguing). O just wanted to tell you this. 😂

Glad to hear.