Seeking guidance

[Erikal]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
My understanding of "self" is coming from a non-dualistic classical tantric view. I understand this to mean that everything there is and has ever been is awareness. That my senses and thoughts create the experience of "me". I have never experienced a shift in this perception. My understanding is fully intellectual.

What are you looking for at LU?
I am looking for a guide who can point me in a direction that I don't understand. Someone who will understand what I don't know and will help me integrate what I am learning. I wish to see experience as it is, not through the rods and cones of my eyeballs.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I hope for kindness and patience. I hope for help navigating what's unknown to me. I hope for friendliness and reassurance. I really have no idea what to expect! I hope to meet someone else who might have efforts that have been similar to mine, who speaks the same "language" as me.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I have been studying and practicing non-dual Shaiva Tantra for 15 years with Paul Mueller-Ortega and Hareesh Wallis. I've practiced with mantra and meditation and visualizations. I've read many books and listened to recordings of many teachers. I stay curious but am also lazy at times.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
10

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

It won't be 24/7. There's likely to.be a "honeymoon period," and then what we call, "got it, lost it," as untrue beliefs come up to be questioned.

Watch this, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4


One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.
Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

Loving,

[Erikal]

Hello Stacy! Thank you for your response. My name is Erika and that is what I would like to be called. I live in WV, US in EST. I see that you are a guide for several, so I will try to be as concise as I can and will try to post every day but will occasionally post every other day. Tuesday’s are especially full.

How will life change?

I expect my day to day life will change very little. I suppose my inner life might be less fraught or anxious? I’m not entirely sure.

How will you change?

I don’t have expectations of much change but I hope for some sense of resolution perhaps? I hope to feel like I don’t have to pursue some sort of deeper truth or knowing. To let go of a sense of wanting.

What will be different?

Maybe I will hold on to things or people or desires a little more loosely

[quote]What is missing?[/quote]

Nothing is missing. I just have a desire to know/experience a deeper truth


Thank you so much for your efforts towards me and others. With a smile,
Erika

[Anastacia42]

Hi Erika,

Great. Your expectations are mostly reasonable.

Being concise will help you, too. It may keep you from getting hopelessly mired in thought.

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving,

[Erikal]

I tried to post an answer on Sunday but I must not have done it correctly! My apologies 🙏🏽

[quote]Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.[/quote]

What comes up for me is a sense of relief, a certain relaxation. Underlying that is a bit of fear. Something like, what is the point in the separate self perception?

[Anastacia42]

Great.

You're close with the Quote function. Watch this please:

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

Mixed feelings are understandable. If fears come up, there's a video with a Deep Looking process to use here:

https://youtu.be/CW24wVAa5CM?si=0SDnsnHq47otIwBT

This is how to LOOK for no self in the exercises - we call them "pointers' - that we will be doing here:



Colored Socks



There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.



Here is an example to illustrate the difference:



If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:



• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.



• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!



Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.



For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.



Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that



We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..



Direct or Actual Experience is



Seeing

Hearing

Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)

Tasting

Smelling

Thoughts Arising (but not their content)



Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.



Loving,

Loving,

[Erikal]

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

I understand. I am to describe only direct experience. I’m not to give it names or give it description or meaning beyond that.

[Anastacia42]

Yes. Good, Erika.

Here is a practice pointer:


Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[Anastacia42]

Hi Erika, are you still here?

Much love