Postby Vittoria » Wed Mar 06, 2024 3:20 pm
Dear J.P. ,
Here my final answers. I took some time to explore and enjoy sitting with them.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
ANSWER:
No, there is not. There has never been.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
ANSWER:
The illusion of a separate self is the belief in a separate independent entity residing inside the body that controls thinking, actions, choices, preferences.
I think it starts when we are little and we imitate the models that surround us. We learn language, which is divisive by nature, and we start labeling objects, sensations and experiences. We learn the label - I/me- for the simple experience of being. This idea of a separate self behind any action, preference, experience is constantly reinforced until it is well ingrained in the system. It is a collective illusion that innocently propels itself.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before we started this dialogue? Please report from the past couple of days.
ANSWER:
I definitely feel more relaxed than when we started this conversation. Thoughts are still believed most of the time, but when this realization is remembered there is an instant relaxation, and it feels so freeing. I can rest here.
It's been interesting to watch this unfold during this very busy and stressful period at work. I had an important deadline and I was way behind schedule. This would have normally triggered me a lot more emotionally and mentally. Seeing I was not in control of the work melted a lot of tension. Anxious thoughts and stress still arose, but there were these moments of openness in which I could see everything was happening by itself, anxiety and stress included.
In general I'm much less likely to be caught up in believing the content of a thought stor
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
ANSWER:
Seeing that thoughts appear without a thinker. I had already seen that no one was not in control of perception but thoughts seemed controlled by someone, and I was that. I was the someone who was coordinating the internal monologue, analyzing, judging, remembering… Looking close it was seen that this process is automatic: thoughts spontaneously arise one after the other in an unpredictable way without anyone in control of the process. Even the process of logical reasoning and analysis is spontaneous: information is recalled and elaborated and integrated when circumstances require it.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control.
ANSWER:
Every intention/action/decision happens according to a set of past conditionings and present circumstances. The idea of a separate self in control of life is just a mental overlay. Behind the thoughts of control and choice there is no controller, no chooser. In the same way there is no one that could or couldn't have free will. There is only life living itself.
6) What makes things happen? How does it work?
ANSWER:
I have no idea, life flows freely.
7) What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
ANSWER:
Responsibility is another concept stemming form the main illusion of the existence of a separate self. There is no one that can be responsible for anything and yet the sense of responsibility arises. There is no need of a subject for anything to happen. That is just a great misunderstanding
that language imposes onto the perception of life.
6) Anything to add?
ANSWER:
Lots of gratitude to my guide JP! Thank you so much for taking the time to help "me" see this :-)
It is so simple if you look... maybe too simple :-)
With love,
Vittoria
