Slow Progress

[Bill2]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
There is no self or I. There is only the body, brain, and awareness. I have had some glimmers of this but it is difficult-I have to think about it and remember to do it. I understand that you use the Socratic Method.

What are you looking for at LU?
I want to understand all this as a whole. I need it to include all - awareness/consciousness/God. I am trying to understand but at this point it seems robotic, without room for kindness and love. Please help.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I expect many interesting questions which I will do my best to answer honestly. I have read your books and I see that all of the people are much more expressive than I so please bear with me. I need to feel this.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Not too much. I have meditated for a while to read Eckard, Rupert, and your books and have listened to Scott Flynn and Ramana Maharshi.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
9

[Lubo]

Hi dear Bill,
Welcome to the forum.

My name is Lubo and I can help you if you are OK?

Do you have some questions or if you want to share how you feel, where is the suck point?

Much love
Lubo

[Bill2]

Hello Lubo,
Non-existence is understood. However, what of the "I am" which is thought to be the only truth? Can it be that the "I Am" is the awareness/consciousness/what you call the life force and which makes up the entire world? This is what we are and what thought energy would have us forget.

[Lubo]

Hi Bill,

Thanks for the reply.

However, what of the "I am" which is thought to be the only truth? Can it be that the "I Am" is the awareness/consciousness/what you call the life force and which makes up the entire world?

Yes, we are looking that "I doesn't exist, but not that "I do not exist".
It is obvious that there is a show going on :)

This is what we are and what thought energy would have us forget

Beautiful question.
This is why you are here in the forum.
Let's jump in that question.
Notice what thoughts energy can do?
Look at your own Direct Experience?

Best,
Lubo

[Bill2]

Thank you Lubo

Thoughts currently experienced are more negative than positive. There is hope that a guide will help in this area. Thoughts have a great degree of fluctuation. The one constant is when I am out in nature it is easier to stay in the now.

[Lubo]

Hi Bill,
I feel you. I am with you.
Now gently notice what thoughts can do?

Love,
lubo

[Bill2]

Dear Lubo,

Yes, we are looking that "I doesn't exis ... e][/quote]

Thank you, I like that. Thoughts drive emotions and emotions interfere with understanding and knowing. Yet if "I" do not exist, I cannot have emotions, I can only experience them. Don't know if that makes sense!

Thank you for helping.

Bill

[Lubo]

Hi Bill,

Yes, we are looking that "I doesn't exis ... e]

[/quote] Yee :) Beautiful. Yes, we are looking that we are the whole miracle but not imagined self in imagined body

Thoughts drive emotions and emotions interfere with understanding and knowing. Yet if "I" do not exist, I cannot have emotions,

Yes, this is what you are looking here - to break trough this connection - thoughts&emotions.
No need to identify with any of them.
Notice what emotion or thoughts you are ?

Love,
Lubo

[Bill2]

Dear Lubo

I am not my thoughts or emotions. These are just energies which happen and can be noted and disregarded like an insect pest.

[Lubo]

Hi Bill,
yes I can feel your rage against thoughts and emotions.
Beautiful. Feel the anger. Notice the space and freedom which are coming with it?

Notice also is there something small/persona wich is scared from thoughts and fear?

I am with you,
Lubo

[Bill2]

"[Notice the space and freedom which are coming with it?quote][/quote]
Hi Lubo

Yes, less though seems to create more space and freedom. My fear is that I may still have ego functioning. For instance when I play chess I feel the difference if I lose or win. But lately it makes me laugh when I lose, especially suddenly.

You are spending so much time on me, I start to wonder if you are my guide..?

Much Gratitude,

Bill

[Lubo]

Hi dear Bill,

You are spending so much time on me, I start to wonder if you are my guide..?

Yes, your freedom is more important than my time. You deserve to be free.

Yes, less though seems to create more space and freedom.

Beautiful. Notice the belief - Thought's voice is as if some autority, parents, boss... ?
As if thoughts are someone? As if thoughts know something?
And notice the anger is like a monster-cat all mice/thoughts disappear

My fear is that I may still have ego functioning.

Yes, I know. Notice that "ego" points this mom/dad thought's voice.
As if there is a baby or little boy here and thoughts are caring and punishing it?
And we feel small and contracted.
But this is not true. You are Holly freedom.
Notice your hand - what parent's voce says, which is this hand?
Notice other people - Notice how this voice speaks as mom to the children - What it says?

Power and freedom,
Lubo

[Bill2]

Hello Lubo,

During my morning meditation I felt the lifeforce of the entire universe flowing through me and I was a part of it. I have moments like this that come and go. But I know that I have not crashed the gate yet. I seem to understand intellectually but, from what you and Luchana have said in your videos, I will know when it all clicks and comes together. So I am looking forward to that time.

Thank you my friend

Bill

[Lubo]

Hi dear Bill,

During my morning meditation I felt the lifeforce of the entire universe flowing through me and I was a part of it.

Beautiful. Yes, you are That.

I am here to guide you to see it, to taste it .

Tell me where are you stuck?
and I will send you questions and they will show you how to pass,
are you ready to do that for your freedom?

Love,
Lubo

[Bill2]

My dear Lubo,

I am here to guide you to see it, to taste it .

I am happy to have such an excellent guide and eager to make progress toward freedom.

Tell me where are you stuck?

This is hard to know. I have good days when I feel it and then other days I will have negative thoughts and feelings. The thoughts are mostly judgements which form before I catch them. Another big area is knowing that we are all already liberated but not having the conviction of this for myself. I need to feel it. I am ready for questions!

Love,
Bill