H&H (Hello and Help) :)

[Zmay]

The world is like disattached, it remindes me when I had a car exident. It was like slowed down in movie, and everything was very percieved because of it.
So is it when I try to look as you told, but speed is normal, just a sense of detachement. Like it happens to someone else. Like it is not so important...

Will look further...

[Eloratea]

Keep looking.
On what is actually based your belief in separate self? Are there any evidences that there is a separate self in reality?

[Zmay]

On what is actually based your belief in separate self?

I don't know, I always thought so, conditioning maybe...I can't find evidence just a strong belive, I cling strongly to it...aldough evidence is not strong....

will try to look deeper into it.

[Eloratea]

I don't know, I always thought so, conditioning maybe...I can't find evidence just a strong belive, I cling strongly to it...aldough evidence is not strong....

Is there evidence, or not? What kind of evidence? :)
If you really want the truth you will not be satisfied with such kind of answers.
Keep looking till it is clear. There are lots of pointers in this thread, as well as in this whole site, to help you going in right direction.
Now, it is up to you, to your desire or readiness to see it.

Warm greetings!

[Zmay]

We must have posted at the same time, my post get lost. Understand what you are telling me, if the desire is strong enough it will function. Thnx.

Just one question from my side that got lost in replaying:

The sens of I is very strengthen in my case because I often had the feeling that it comands in some instances. Best shown through example:

I was doing tibetan exercise, after third one I sat down to do the fourth. I then for some time just sat down, don't know why, resting, enjoying, daydreaming....then the voice of I souns very strongly in my head...you can not sitt here all day, it is lot of work to be done...chop, chop...go and do it. Then my body does it. I saw no thought before and I then...just I comanded and body responded. Maybe I was not so present, but that happens often.

How to look at this better?

[Eloratea]

What makes that "voice in the head" being you?
"I" is just thought, one of the thoughts, not special at all. Can you see that?
It is not you, it never was.

It might be also good to restrain from doing other practices, while doing this inquiry. From combining teachings, reading different books...So maybe also from doing the Tibetan exercises. But it is always up to you to feel what should be done or not.

[Zmay]

What makes that "voice in the head" being you?

The fact that it looks like live want to go one way and then something we call I gives a order and it is followed by the body. Or at least it looks like that aldough trying to look...

Thank you for other inputs...will follow what can...

[Eloratea]

Thoughts can not give orders. They are just thoughts. When thoughts are seen to be just part of the experience not its main content there is freedom not to follow them.

Check the motives for doing exercises or whatever...is there a desire to gain something? For whom? For this little voice in the head?
Be honest with yourself. Don't delude yourself and waste time.
If the truth is not top priority, it will not be seen though it is always here in plain sight.

[Zmay]

Check the motives for doing exercises or whatever...is there a desire to gain something? For whom? For this little voice in the head?
Be honest with yourself. Don't delude yourself and waste time.

You got the nail on the head...that's a hard one for me...and yes I'm doing it for the strong voice in my head. First other things and when that didn't bring me nowhere...well the entlightement is the ultimate goal.

I don't know if I'm ready...I have to bite in that lemon, it seams all motivation for doing anything dies when that little voice is no more the one for whome the doing is done....at least that is what the tought are spinning...jump in the unknown, and I even don't know how to do it....

You, I thank for clear talk....

[Zmay]

Looking, nothing new...

[Eloratea]

maybe you can re-read the thread...

[Zmay]

I have enough to look at, just today a lot of work and some sad feeling....almost no time or concetration to look, maybe I fights back, your thread hit it strong...I am doing everything for the voice...will look on as soon as possible.

[Zmay]

Hello,

i have fear rising up...it has some reason in reallity (what happen, or more precise what will happen) but never before I had fear from such things. I can not concetrate on looking deep into myself and almost reasonless fears arrising...not so specific...more like pure fear...I can not connect it to reality. I also can not look into it...I try to feel it and it passes, then periods of uncalmness like I have something to do...but it is not so (it is something but I greatlly exaturate it inside), so I can not observe...then again fear arises...triggered by some thought, but the fear is more deep, not so connected with what triggers it.

Don't know how well I describe it...basically unspecific fear and restlessness, triggered by some reallity but much blown out of proportion. Almost like something inside is dragging me away from what I was doing...looking. I have either fear or resstlesness that prevent me from looking...

[Eloratea]

I've told you no need to force anything. Looking, or whatever.
If there isn't enough openness and readiness, no amount of forcing will help.
Just allow emotionally everything that arises in experience, have some kindness with it and know that every experience will pass. Don't try to run away, to fix anything, to feel better.
Real looking is not something you do.

With best wishes.

[Zmay]

Theoretically or better to say mentally I know this. But I know no better but to try the best I can.

I don't run away, fix or feel better...MB learned me this allready :).

Well, I will be for some more time apareantlly...

Thank you for helping