Bondage of self

[Will1916]

By “21 century” do u mean everything that is in vision? In front or to the periphery?

[Lubo]

Everything is 21

[Lubo]

Ask someone friend what that point? :)

[Will1916]

Everything is 21. No distance between anything. I experience that me & everything is the same. It comes & goes but I experience it. I lose it esp when I meet other people then I feel separate but I can still sometimes experience the oneness of everything.

[Lubo]

Hi Will,
Nice.

I lose it esp when I meet other people then I feel separate

Notice what is the story/imagination - what are you when you are speaking with others?
Play with that with curiosity ;)

Love
Lubo

[Will1916]

There seems to be a self image when I’m speaking with others. Some image. When I look it’s just a thought but when around others I forget to look. I’m absorbed in a thought. I want others to like me. That’s such a big one . I want others to like me even though when I look there is no me to like. It’s crippling. But I am tasting moments of freedom from the thought. Difficult when in conversation tho.

[Lubo]

Hi dear Will,
It is so powerfull to see this:

I want others to like me. That’s such a big one . I want others to like me even though when I look there is no me to like

You notice that there is an old protective program , program from childhood, wich says "If your parents don't likes you, you will die, because food and love is coming from them"
This program is not a personal, there is not wrong with you.
meet that program, meet it now. Stay with it.
Invite anger to free the sistem from this burden.
Invite anger to appear as a dragon and let the dragon burn all conditionings! No mercy!
The hell is coming for the conditionings!
Free the Wholeness from programs!

But I am tasting moments of freedom from the thought

Yes, this is freedom from programs.
Notice that there is a part from you wich already is enjoying freedom?
live as that part.
When we release the sistem with 10% even the world is changing .

Much love
Lubo

[Lubo]

[Will1916]

Ok. I’ve been staying with the anger and frustration as best I can. Is present a lot. How is the anger connected to me wanting love and connection? What else do I need to do?

[Lubo]

anger and frustration

Anger is coming because of the limitation/story behind frustration.
What is the story behind frustration?
Why you need frustration to be here?
Pure anger is OK, but frustration is a program for contraction, there is limitation behind it.
What is this limitation about?


I am with you,
lubo

[Will1916]

Sorry I have not been in touch. I’ve lost my way a bit. My head just took over.
I suppose frustration over feeling less than, not good enough, weak. I say no to life a lot. I don’t want to feel my shame so I isolate. I’m beginning to trust more this past week tho. Staying in my body more. Staying with the energy that arises. Putting myself in slightly more challenging situations. I realize that in order to break free I need to stay with the intense energy that’s hiding. For it to come out I need to engage more with others and feel the dis-ease. That’s what’s coming up for me these past few days.

[Lubo]

Hey, welcome back dear Will,

Sorry I have not been in touch. I’ve lost my way a bit. My head just took over.

I hear you. I am with you. I am holding you.

I am I suppose frustration over feeling less than, not good enough, weak. I say no to life a lot.

I am here to help you. You deserve your freedom.
You can trust the Wholeness.

Notice that there is no idea what is This here, right?
And the mind tries to fill in the unknown with imaginary things, can you see this?
I will guide you, let's walk around and to see what is here and to change the imagination of the mind with what is seen.
1. notice that there is story about what you are? and What this around is?
2. Put aside this identification for a while
3. With eyes closed - what is there? your answer................ - Identify with that
4. With open eyes notice - how far is this - look around, from this which is found with eyes closed?
5.Are they separate? or are they the same gang?
6. Notice that "you" are both and you can trust here, to trust what appear?

Much love,
Lubo

[Will1916]

With eyes closed there is nothing but sensations or contraction, sometimes a thought but I come back to the sensation. I feel a density in my chest & neck.
It often feels like a wall. I’m beginning to feel this with eyes open too. When I look out I see open space but I’m still the subject & what’s out there seems like the object. I can just go out & not feel me but difficult to stay there. I’m practicing going out & then coming back & feeling my separation from everything else. When I point back toward myself I feel the “me” in my chest. I just try & stay with that.

[Lubo]

Hi dear Will,
I see what is going on.
There is story by thoughts whic is claiming that there is "I"
Trust the proces ,
here it is one exercise:
Describe What is at Direct Experience without using word "i"
I am sitting= sitting
I am reading =reading
etc.
do this the whole day
Notice that thoughts cannot know how or what makes things happen.

[Will1916]

That was a great pointer. When I am just hearing there is just sound. When I am just seeing there is just open space in front. Things slow down. With reading I keep coming back to an “I” or what I call “I”. It’s sensation. Usually from my neck to my chest. That area. With reading I feel like I need to reference back tho. That the brain won’t take the information in if I don’t reference back. With looking it’s the same. I stay out & maybe fear comes up & there is a need to come back. Slowing down is big for me right now especially with looking. I go out, then I come back to the sensation & then I kind of stay in the middle- in and out. There is a freedom here. Some sort of a beginning of letting go. I will continue to practice Thank you for the pointers. Right now this is the most important thing in my life.