xicadelliberation

[Elad]

Glad to hear the way you work. Yes, take the time: Patience + ongoing care and attending to what's true = that's it. And I'll support what you all ready suspect or know deep down: this when clearly seen will not contradict any love and will not equal (nor repress) experiences of human loneliness and isolation. Learning more and more to not resist or be reactive to the full range of emerging thoughts and feelings, but rather see them for what they are and have compassion is inherent to this too.

[xicadel]

Sept 10, 2023 (Sept 11 your time): What I am seeing is this: Like seeing hearing, smelling, and feeling, thinking is another aspect of awareness. It happens, no control. Even memories, just thoughts. They happen. What is real is the sensation, the experience. I have a bit of trouble with words here… when I allow full sensation, I feel unbounded. No self separate from everything being experienced (seeing hearing, feeling).

[Elad]

This sounds clear to me Xica. How does it feel? Any doubts you want us to look at?

[Elad]

Ps.

when I allow full sensation, I feel unbounded. No self separate from everything being experienced (seeing hearing, feeling).

Is it a separate independent you who allow, or is it life moving by itself between manifesting as allowing and manifesting as identified in thought-feeling-fantasy?

The "everything", is any name truly capturing for it (self, awareness, god, life, Buddha nature, etc) or is it beyond any description?

[xicadel]

"Beyond description" feels right. Words make the experience seem so flat. It is rich and dynamic, ever changing. I could use words like God, Source, Divine, Life Force... none of them perfectly capture the flow of the universe :) Maybe "flow of cosmic consciousness"?

I also appreciate the way you phrase the movement of life moving by itself between manifesting as allowing and manifesting as an identification. This investigation has helped me experience the allowing part more keenly and parse the pieces of allowing and identification (with thoughts, feelings, memory, even internal sensation that seem to be "me"). I assume the identification process coexists with the allowing, and always will (except perhaps in moments)? That is my experience anyway.

It feels calm, it feels grounded. Peaceful. It feels obvious!!!! Fascinating how I am also beginning to see how other humans vacillate between the two ways of being.

I feel both a sense of fullness and relief at the expansiveness of the feeling, and a niggling of regret. Xica is so much fun! As you say though, I don't need to say goodbye to her. I feel her right here in the room with me, and I feel kindness and compassion. What a kind of miracle to be a human! What a fun illusion! And yet, glad I feel a foundation underneath that thought/feeling movement/manifestation.

At the moment it feels clear, no doubts.

[Elad]

So precious Xica 🤍 Yes the sense here is for by far most of us, if not all, identification and disidentification is a continuous process for a long time if not the rest of life. And you say it beautifully, we can enjoy illusion, and when it gets too clingy it naturally evokes pain and then inquiry and/or letting go. Even this is a story, as you know 💗

[xicadel]

Yes. I feel clear and complete on all of this. Is there anything else? Anything I am missing? I don’t feel particularly capable of putting any of this shift into words, except to say I am aware of a pleasant aliveness in my system and all around.

[Elad]

Now 3 other guides will review and if they have a sense some questions might help clarify more they will ask. I'll get back to you soon, and we will take it from there 🙏

[xicadel]

Wow, thank you! What a beautiful offering that so many people are putting energy into this!

[Elad]

💗

Dear Xica, 3 guides took a look and confirmed the seeing seems clear, no questions :)

So you graduated LU :D ... And in the end seeing is there or not in direct experience, not in the words of others, as a Buddhist saying goes (if I remember right) "don't put another head on top of your own".

Thank you for the sincerity and depth of exploration. It's been a joy and privilege to explore with you. Please write me your email. I will send you my email should more questions come up and the emails of two senior guides who conduct regular Zoom meetings that "Gatecrashers" attend.

With love,
Elad

[xicadel]

Thank you so much Elad. It's been such an opening experience for me and I so appreciate your care and warmth. It is the first time I have ever worked with a guide and I am really grateful for the experience. I am at khewitt333@gmail.com

[Elad]

Thank you so much Elad. It's been such an opening experience for me and I so appreciate your care and warmth. It is the first time I have ever worked with a guide and I am really grateful for the experience. I am at khewitt333@gmail.com

💗🙏

I'll write you an email today, so if you don't see it look in junk mail too.