1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
No shape, no form that I can find. Self is a function of a conglomerate of thoughts. So, on some level it is there, as is anything that we can put a label on (Santa, Batman, God, good, evil, etc). However, being merely a subconscious, self perpetuating concept it does not have a power to decide or navigate through life. Of course it has never been anything more than that. It is what it is, always and forever.
2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
My take is that creating and sustaining self is one of basic functions of a mind. It helps to group, categorise and understand stimuli, see them as happenings and draw conclusions, create predictions. It is like a matrix on which it can further construct and develop. At least that's how I remember "self" onset in my case, or by observing my growing son. Question is if it is family/society that facilitates this self creation or does it happen spontaneously, is built in human mind (to a child brought up in complete isolation). Once it is there it is sustained and maintained by self-referencing thoughts, constantly creating and re-creating the self as it is a base for all the reality created in mind.
3) How does it feel to see this?
Great. Peaceful. Liberating. Lonely. Neither attached or detached. Free.
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
I cannot answer directly because it has been a long time since "self" and "reality" changed their meaning to me but this dialogue helped me understand a few things. Having no clue why I see the world differently I felt estranged and alone, yet there was no turning back, the truth cannot be unseen. I consider self to be a thing but it is just what it is, a base thought, a mind product to help understand and navigate "reality", a certain tool of mind, nothing more.
4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?
In my story there was so much discontent, sadness and fear that at one point it just tipped the scale. I saw that all these were just static, they were not "mine" because there was no "me" that they could be attached to. Even more than that. They were products of "me" that was a product of mind. The mind made up "me", who clung to these emotions and they were harming the mind. It was "self" harming vicious circle. Everything went quiet, peaceful, full and direct. "I" was everywhere and nowhere, everything and nothing.
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
These are illusions that the mind builds up to create feeling of understanding of what is. What is - is. There is nothing else. What was - isn't. What will be - isn't. What is - is independent from will, intention, control or decision. Mind puts names and labels on what is, interprets happenings so that it fits it's model of reality. Makes sure that the model is stable by choosing what to focus on and what to turn a blind eye on (we can see that exploring cognitive dissonance).
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.
There is no choice, free will or control. If you think there was a choice if to turn left or right you could not turn the other way to the one you turned. If you turned left there never has been a choice to turn right. If you were to turn right you would have. Same can be said in present simple, because there is only what is - and that is and always has been what is and has been.
b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
What is that "you"? Once it is accepted that there is no "self" there is also no one to be responsible for anything. That's the deep/true level. Now, on top of that, there is a build up of levels of "reality". First comes "self", then family, then society, country, world, space etc.. On these levels, purely imaginary, there are just as imaginary responsibilities. "I" am "responsible" for well being of "my body". All these "" are concepts. Whatever happens - is.
6) Anything to add?
Thank you.
