Homeward bound

[hometruth]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Life is a dream ... I believed the dream, even though always felt something wasn't right. Seeking has brought me to this point… Letting go of tethers to the idea of a self living in this apparent body, with all sorts of ‘special’ people around just doesn’t cut the mustard anymore.

What are you looking for at LU?
I’ve been studying ACIM and non-duality and through the process of undoing many beliefs and perceptions about who ‘I’ am LU has now arrived. I love to idea of being in this community of fellow Truth questers.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
To show up every day, respond to (and maybe ask as well) questions that support untethering from the identity of ‘self’. I want to be challenged to get to the root of hidden beliefs and get out of patterns that are still holding me in the drama triangle. This is really happening already, and there’s more… This guide conversation will support this process and come Home to only Truth.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I’ve been a seeker since early childhood when I used to see and hear ghosts and knew from that there was way more to reality then met the eye. At 14 I met some mediums and from there found a safe space to ask a gazillion questions that had just hovered for years. At 16 I started yoga and have done this on and off over the last 35 years. Meditation was there too, but mind was often too busy…

In late 20’s to early 30’s an emersion in Shamanic studies. This helped come into more state of presence, but the mind, unconfidence, fear and separation identity were still very present.

Then tantra arrived for many years as a ‘home’. I see how much the need ‘to belong’ and ‘be accepted’ was was core to a lot of that time. There was also in my mind too much emphasis on the relationship with the body, and this started to not feel true. I know tantra is a non-dual path, but my mind brought rigidity and binary beliefs in. I’m making it sound too negative; this has been a rich path and incredible direct experiences have been experienced, but not sustained…

A realisation that shit really needed looking at came to the fore at the tumultuous end of a relationship in 2021 and much therapy happened in the Voice Dialogue method after that. Then last year (2022) ACIM arrived plus a beautiful group to study with and awakened guides. I realise that inspite of so much seeking I had a real fear of letting go of my identity and allowing God. This is really changing now.

Other teachers who’ve helped along the way have included Martín Prechtel, Malidoma Somé, Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Michael A Singer, Rupert Spira … other non-dual teachers keep arriving!

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Anastacia42]

Hi,

My name is Stacy and I can be your guide, if you would like.

I was a Course in Miracles student for 25 years. I think it helped prepare me for this. Now I have seen there is no "god" in Direct Experience (which I'll explain shortly) and the truth is more mysterious than that. Things just arise. We'll get to that, too.

One thing I want to make very clear up front is that with me, you must post every day. If you know yourself and your schedule are such that you cannot do this, tell me, "no," and someone else can guide you, please.
Yes, if once in a while you must post later, please post a note telling me when you will return.

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/

Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.

http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

Some housekeeping guidelines:

1. Post at least once a day, or every second day. If you need more time, or are unable to post for several days, just write a quick post on your thread to let me know please.

2. There is no one judging answers given, so please be 100% honest in your answers and inquiry.

3. This exploration is based on actual experience (AE) - smell, taste, sound, sensation, color and observed thoughts. Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress. This is not a self-improvement process. There is no ‘self’ to improve.

4. Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading and so on for the remainder of this investigation. Really put all your effort and attention in to seeing this reality, as it is. If you have a daily meditation practice, it is fine to continue that but is not necessary for this exploration.

Technology is not perfect and sometimes there is a glitch which can wipe out your responses. It is advisable that you copy and paste questions asked into Word, answer them there and then copy and paste them to your thread. Always save a copy of what you have done, it will save time in the long run!

To begin with, so that we both become aware of what your expectations are about this exploration. In your own words (not from actual experience, but just honest answers), could you please answer the 4 following questions:

How will life change?
How will you change?
What will be different?
What is missing?

Throughout this exploration I would like you to answer all questions that I have written in blue text. Please answer all questions even if I miss using the blue text.

Please answer questions individually, remembering to use the quote function to highlight the question being answered.

Below is a link to the video with instructions on using the Quote Function. Please watch it. Use the PREVIEW button to make sure your text looks right before you hit "SUBMIT."

viewtopic.php?f=4&t=660

What would you like for me to call you? What time zone are you in, please?

I'm near Boulder, Colorado, US
,
Loving,

[hometruth]

Hello Stacy,

Thank you. I am very grateful for your offer to be my guide and I accept.

Please call me Annabel. I’m in the UK, British Summer Time. Not sure how many hours ahead from
Boulder…

I agree to post everyday. Occasionally I’m away from WiFi or phone reception. I’ll let know if that’s going to be happening in advance.

I’m literally in the bus heading to meet a friend who is also being guided through the gate now. I will answer your questions when I’m back home.

I have read the disclaimer and will reread as well.

Speak again soon,

Annabel

[Anastacia42]

Hi Annabel,

Very good. See "you" (or maybe not ;) ) when you get back.

Much love,

[Anastacia42]

Here's a time converter:

https://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/ ... 000&p1=136

But that's the beauty of these forums. Reply anytime & we'll see it when we do.

Loving,

[hometruth]

Hi again Stacy

If you haven't already read the disclaimer, please read it now and just confirm to me that you have read it. Here is the link.
http://liberationunleashed.com/disclaimer-2/
Also please read “Liberation Unleashed is not …” in the FAQ’s of LU. Here is the link.
http://liberationunleashed.com/about/faq/#faq-1041

To confirm, all reread ✅

How will life change?

I don’t know if life will change at all but I imagine more acceptance of what’s happening in life. And through that perceptual shift it will appear differently to what is perceived now.

How will you change?

Become more neutral in response to life, less reactive or 'thinking' that problems need solving.
I imagine my impulse of knowing when to act and making choices will be clearer... There's been a busy mind with worry, doubts and second guessing of myself in life - I am aware that I used the word 'myself' there... Guessing that will change too? (to be fully transparent, even writing this now mind is questioning if I'm answering the questions right 😣🤷🏻‍♀️)
Please if i veer too much into this

Long-winded analytical and philosophical answers are best avoided and may even hinder progress

pick me up on it. But at the same time I don't want to be censoring out of mind 'worrying' about 'getting it wrong'. I really welcome your guidance.

What will be different?

More peace and being in the moment, less thoughts about past and future... Less thoughts in general … maybe even none 🤔

What is missing?

A consistently quiet mind… Is that asking too much? Well a mind that’s not coming from ego anyway… peace, quiet, stillness.

Put aside all other teachings, philosophies, rituals, practices, books/reading

This means pausing ACIM as well? I'm on lesson 202 review at the mo fyi. I'm assuming yes to pausing?

... and we're off!

Annabel ❤️

[hometruth]

One more question re other teachings and books... I bought the 'Liberation Unleashed' book ... and Jed McKenna's first book of the trilogy. Would you say hold off reading these too?

[Anastacia42]

Good morning, Annabel,

Reading Liberation Unleashed and Jen McKenna would be supportive. A Course in Miracles is mixed. You could continue but some of it will not be helpful.

For instance, no God or Jesus is found in Direct Experience. I'm about to explain that.

Your expectations are mostly reasonable,but beware that there's no 24/7 peace or bliss bunny. There may be a honeymoon period, then life goes on.

There can be what we call, "got it, lost it," as untruebeliefs come up to be questioned.

Watch this, please:

https://youtu.be/vJQcD588g2w

and

https://youtu.be/PUDzrCLlrj4

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.


Loving,

[hometruth]

Hello!

I'll play acim by ear. It's been a total immersion, so appreciate your words that some could be helpful. Feels like this Gate journey will be pretty consuming so will def prioritise this.

beware that there's no 24/7 peace or bliss bunny

In my current deep dive experience there is connecting with Holy Spirit that seems to make all the difference when dirge hits, to hand it over.... so yeah I get that progress is being made at least to not own the apparent shit, or not for so long ...

Just watched the videos Stacy.... Thank you...

Now what comes up when reading that there is no separate self, never has been, and never will be? That the whole thing was a made up story that we believed.

Immediate quick reply ... Although this culture I've been raised in bangs on about separate self and individuality I can see that as a learnt concept ... mind immediately went to the Kogi tribe in Columbia and imagined they'd have a totally different concept.

Next thing that comes up was that still get ideas of punishing God ... and it's my separate self that's thinking that. Or is it?... maybe that's just a collective thought... actually that feels more plausible.

I'm heading out with my daughter now ...will be back later to give deeper reflections

[Anastacia42]

That's enough.

Now this...

Colored Socks

There is a big difference between knowing that there is nothing to give up and seeing that there is nothing to give up.

Here is an example to illustrate the difference:

If I ask you what color socks you are wearing right now you have two ways to come up with an answer:

• You can think about it, you can think back to this morning and try to remember putting your socks on, and you can probably tell me what color you think they are.

• Alternatively, you can take a quick look at your socks and tell me what color they actually are!

Hopefully you would agree that you can only be 100% certain by looking.

For the purpose of seeing this "no self" idea, it is very important that you are clear about this difference.

Knowing is about knowledge which is all in the mind and we are not interested in that

We are only interested in looking at and seeing what is actually going on in your present moment-to-moment experience. We are only interested in your Direct Experience in the moment..

Direct or Actual Experience is

Seeing
Hearing
Feeling (Sensation, not emotion. Emotion is Sensation plus made-up thoughts & labels)
Tasting
Smelling
Thoughts Arising (but not their content)

Please let me know if you are clear about this or if you would like any further clarification.

Loving,

[hometruth]

I’m clear. Just re thoughts is just about noticing them but letting them pass by?

A x

[Anastacia42]

Correct.

Here's your first pointer:

Direct Experience - Labeling Daily Activities

Here's an exercise that I would like you to try as many times throughout the day as you can. Label daily activities simply color/image, sound, smell, taste, sensation, thought.

So for example, when having breakfast, become aware of:

Seeing a cup, simply= image/color
Smelling coffee, simply = smell
Feeling the warmth of the coffee cup, simply = sensation
Tasting the coffee, simply = taste
Hearing the spoon stirring the coffee, simply = sound
Thought about drinking the coffee, simply = thought

Just break down daily activities into these categories (which are all Actual/Direct Experience) and report back with lists exactly like the one above.

Post several of your own observations in a list *exactly* like the one above, please. Same word forms. Same order. EXACTLY.

Refer to the green list of Actual/Direct Experience in the prior post if that helps. Those are the only items any experience can be.

Loving,

[hometruth]

Hi Stacy,

Sat in theatre
Seeing stage with white screens, photographer with camera facing silver pole in centre, pole dancer in black shorts and top with huge orange plastic sheet attached to her ankles and wrists, making shapes on pole, wind machine blows orange sheet to fill it with billowing air, simply = Image/colour

Feeling fabric of my skirt touching knees, weight of bum on seat, face moving to make open mouthed ‘wow’ shape, eyes wider, simply = sensation

Perfume of other audience members and incense, simply = smell

Neutral mouth saliva, simply = taste

Hearing photographer saying ‘good’, ‘beautiful’, ‘hold’, music playing, me and other people saying ‘wow’, clapping sound, whirr of wind machine, simply = sound

Thoughts - ‘the narrative relates to my experience’, ‘this is beautiful’, ‘i’m moved’


Sat on back step in garden
Seeing black cat licking fur, scratching tree, leaping around, green bushes, trees, orange marigolds, green fences, grey pavement slabs, light brown wooden shed, white garden furniture, simply = Image/colour
Hearing drumming in distance, neighbours talking in garden, wind rustling in bushes and trees, distant sounds of cars on main road, child shrieking, clinking and banging sounds, simply = sound
Feeling achy ankles, whispy hair blowing on my face, coolness of wind on face and shin skin on right side, sensation of swallowing saliva , simply = sensation
Tasting tobacco taste in mouth, simply = taste
Food cooking smells from neighbours, simply = smell
Thoughts, ‘I’m tired’, ‘need an early night’, ‘Is cat ok?’, ‘what movie will we watch?’, simply = thoughts

Candle
Seeing a cream coloured pillar candle, flickering flame, simply= image/colour
Smelling incense, simply = smell
Feeling warmth of the flame, simply = sensation
Tasting slightly sour saliva, simply = taste
Hearing feint buzz of light, car sound, simply = sound
Thought of loving candle light, thought of having chosen too many experiences with other examples and was that wrong, best do some simpler ones?

Itchy toe
Seeing red bumps at root of second toe on right foot, seeing right finger nails scratch, simply= image/colour
Smelling - incense, simply = smell
Feeling itchyness, simply = sensation
Taste savoury saliva, simply = taste
Hearing sound of scratching fingers, simply = sound
Thought that I want to stop scratching, simply = thought

Moving laptop
Seeing silver grey metal and black buttons, simply = image/colour
Smelling - incense, simply = smell
Feeling weight of laptop and lack of weight when put it down, simply = sensation
Taste of saliva on mouth, simply = taste
Hearing light thud of laptop out down on wooden surface, simply = sound
Thought, mentioning taste when not eating is odd, and mouth now tastes better.

Smoking rolled cigarette
Beige paper, grey ash, red glow- simply = image/colour
Smelling tobacco and smoke, simply = smell
Feeling the suck in mouth of smoke in and out - simply = sensation
Tasting the cigarette smoke, simply = taste
Hearing the sound of breath drawing in and out, simply = sound
Thought about smoking the rollie, simply = thought

[Anastacia42]

Good. Yes.

Though the ones like this are backwards:

Thought, mentioning taste when not eating is odd, and mouth now tastes better.

With all of these pointers, it is not about correct answers, but rather about how it feels to see things in this way. Pay close attention to that.

Mind Labeling Experience

Here is an exercise which examines the way in which the mind labels experience - it takes about 20 minutes and you will need a pen a paper.

This exercise is broken into 10 minute lots. For each 10 minute period pay attention to any bodily sensation i.e. is there any tightening, or any relaxing?

For the first ten minutes write down what you are experiencing right now using the word “I”.

For example:

I am sitting on a chair,
I am hearing a clock ticking,
I am looking at a computer screen,
I am feeling hungry.

Get right to the point, no past or future fantasy, just a plain description of your experience right here and now.

Then for the next ten minutes continue writing down what you are experiencing but this time without using the word “I”. Just describe the experience as it is happening using verbs.

For example:

Sitting on a chair,
typing,
breathing,
blinking,
hearing the clock.

(Again, watch what is happening in the body.)

At the end of the twenty minutes compare the two ways in which the experience was labelled and answer the following four questions:

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

2. What is here without labels?

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

Loving,

[hometruth]

Hi Stacy,

Though the ones like this are backwards:
'Thought, mentioning taste when not eating is odd, and mouth now tastes better.'
With all of these pointers, it is not about correct answers, but rather about how it feels to see things in this way. Pay close attention to that.

Is it like I've called a feeling a thought, but not described the feeling sense? I don't quite get this...

First 10
I am sitting on a cushion
I hear music
I hear wind rustling in tree tops
I see tree branches sway
I am looking at this note book
I hear a door banging
I feel frustration at the bang sound
I am walking across room and shutting door
I am seeing my legs out straight, feet rocking left to right
I am feeling sensation of right foot over left moving
I am feeling back of neck hunched over book
I move to lean against sofa
I am hearing birds tweeting
I am hearing cracking noise outside and creak of sofa as i lean back on it
I am looking at white clouds in blue sky
I am feeling shoulders drop
I am hearing loud sniff
I am moving legs, bending knees up
I am seeing notebook and pen on lap, hand writing.

Second 10
Sitting on cushion on floor
fly buzzes
music plays
birds tweet
right eye itches
writing
hearing tree leaves rustle
Breath slow
Neck moves
Stretch neck
Lick finger
Taste salt
Sighing
Itching
Smelling t-shirt
Stroking
Breathing
Looking at statue
Eyes close - see dark
Eyes open - see room
Hearing nails on teeth
Eyes close
Eyes open
Sighing
Sitting still
Shoulders drop
Groaning
Toughing computer screen
Hearing child
Stroking ribbon
Stretching ribbon
Stroking right thigh
Hearing water spray
Looking at timer.

1. Is one truer than the other, and If so, which one?

The second seems more true, e.g. a creak being made is just a sound, not dependent on 'I hear a creak'... the creak is just a creak happening.

2. What is here without labels?

I don't know what you mean by 'without labels' ... You mean without the 'I', the first person voice? Is that what you mean by 'labels'? ... If that's what you mean then without the 'I' seems more neutral ... see an inclination to go into a narrative with the first section. For example, "I am feeling neck hunched over book', feels like a tragedy that needs action (ie future planning) to get sorted... then 'shoulders drop', 'sighing' in second part is just happening ...

3. Do labels affect the experience or just describe it?

The labels in some way distanced me from the experience, made it busier, things to do and sort... more emphasis on observing than being. So like when I wrote that i was seeing feet rocking, I kind of didn't feel that, but when stroking the ribbon felt more connection

4. Did you notice any differences in the body?

More presence. The busyness of the first half felt goal focussed, almost analytical. Second half much more simple, drawn inside.