Greatfull for a guide to help

[Mitch4429]

Hi Jeff
Here is my second run at answering :)

1) Is there a 'me', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever? How about self, is there anything that is separate from everything else?
                There is no " me"' jus a physical body filled with thoughts, experiencing through the senses.  My mind had constructed a "me" "-ego" developed and has been in a constant loop speaking/acting to itself ever since.  Self is synonymous with "I" and there is no "I"

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works.
                  The illusion starts when we are babies, it was  taught to us by our parents, family , the world as seen through our closest contacts which developed into a conditioned response doc thinking that "I".  Thought patterns were constructed and just kept going and going and going ..............we are taught that being separate/ that we are special /different when we are babies/ toddlers .  40 some years of thoughts  and responses amalgamated into Mitch - a swirling dervish of egoic thought, actions- I think I am  who I think I am is totally supported by our conditioning, and on and on it goes- another illusion building upon another
        The meat suit to house the thoughts, just a body, doing what a body does

3) How does it feel to see this? describe in detail
              I experienced a sense of relief mostly, lightness, joy.  Looking at the story my mind and thoughts had constructed- to see that clearly as false- no longer a self imposed prison of guilt and shame, there tears of joy experienced!  As one of your first questions was" how would you feel if I said there was no self and there never was? I'd " think" that was awesome- and "I" do.  I've been laughing a lot more lately. Knowing its all perfect and that there is no controll- whew what a relief to not feel responsible for all of that stuff I was feeling responsible for- a burden lifted 
       There is a feeling of -wow- now is all there is --be the moment.  Be aware, notice your thoughts, question, look at what they are saying, feel that, is it real?
         

4) How would you describe it to somebody who has never heard about this illusion but is curious about it. 
           I did that yesterday, when I cancelled a dinner date so that I would have time to write you back. I said I had been working with someone to deeply look at the false construct of Mitch and what was real.  That I recently realized that this moment that I was experiencing is all there is and I was learning to pay attention to it.  I was looking at my story and it was a  pretty intense process and I needed to get back with Jeff tonight. 
         He will ask questions if he's interested 
  I would then point him to LU as my friend did for me
  I've mentioned my "looking" to one or two people in my life, they weren't inquisitive- if they ask I'll point - to LU- 

5) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look? was there a specific moment when seeing happened or was it gradual? what exactly happened?
         "I" started to look after my divorce, 3 years ago- but not in a direct pointing way- all faiths church, yoga, meditation retreats- that kind of stuff- which was all very different for me- it's started the process for me to "hear" what this guy I met at a bar was saying-he pointed to LU and a different looking was experienced
There was one day in the forrest, running was happening, the body floating along the earth,a release of a self imposed sense of control of anything that was happening----I was like- hey wait a minute- really, oh this is so cool - yahoooooooo .   An instant spray of guilt be gone- along with it shame and  the feeling I had any control over what happened to me when I was a little- the sense of the hurt little child living in side of me dissolved- that  was there for over 40 years and was greatly noticed when no longer there- the realization of no "I " no control, oh happy day
       
6) Is there an experiencer experiencing, or is there only experience?
        Experience is  occurring-we have no controll, it just is
         
Does experience belong to the body, or does the body belong to experience?
   Neither, The experience occurs- the body has senses to sense but that doesn't alter what is actually occurring

Mitch

[Mitch4429]

hi jeff

gosh, this is all so challenging. after writing you this am my body did not feel well. Running then happened and thoughts of why I was experiencing the feeling of "not well" occurred and led me to: I had felt much more open and honest and more comfortable with my answers last night- I was feeling exhausted from no sleep and an insightful day at work---and open- i know everything written last night was lost because it was meant to be, just letting you know it felt better than today
i dont perceive writing on a computer or "doing" much on a computer as enjoyable. even writing this is non prefferd over just speaking
"I" am constantly led back to - mitch you have no control
and this whole language label thing sucks
mitch

[jeffdilbeck]

Hey Mitch,

Everything looks good there. I'm going to post this in our workgroup so they can look it over and ask further questions. I will then private message you to give you a connection to aftercare.

Thank you for letting me take this walk with you.
Much Love,
Jeff

[jeffdilbeck]

Hey Mitch,

One of the guides in aftercare wants to just make sure there aren't any doubts (again). The body thing concerned him.

You seem clear to me though. Learning to deal is not the same as seeing and knowing the truth.

[Mitch4429]

Hi Jeff

No doubts, just all very different
Just learning to deal- its a pretty big shift ya know!

Much gratitude for your time
Love
Mitch