Some guidance would be much appreciated. Thanks!

[01Brianna]

Yes, I meditate in all environments, as often as possible. I’ve never been in a sensory deprivation tank, but I have often thought about it. I might just look into that and see what it’s like.

[MerlinC]

So are you having any trouble being awareness?

[01Brianna]

Haha! I am awareness whatever. There is still a sense of a separate identity which seems to get in the way sometimes. I suppose that’s just a habit, and it seems less important now.

Thank you so much for your guidance!

[MerlinC]

No problem just pay it forward, in time you'll catch yourself falling for it but its all in the healing process it just means your waking up a ittle grogy. Theirs a great book called a course in miracles that I read everyday to keep me aligned in the faith in this stuff because as you know the world isnt really in a dialogue of inner peace so its nice to have a reminder that their is a path. If youd like I can give you the final questions we went over early so you may be accepted into the facebook group where they have tools and people who went and is going through the same experiences you have and if you wish to guide others to themselves you can, what do you think?

[01Brianna]

Thank you! Yes, I have the book A Course in Miracles, I haven't read it for a few years, I'll have a look at it again. I don't know what the final questions are, but yes, I would like to do whatever I need to so I can join the facebook group, and guide others when I'm ready.

[MerlinC]

Let me find them again and I'll get back to you or we can inquire more here what ever you want.

[01Brianna]

Thanks, more guided inquiry would be helpful, and I’d also like to do the ‘final questions’ and apply to join the facebook group.

[MerlinC]

alright here they are
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?
2) Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.
Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.
3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
4) Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?
5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.
b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.
6) Anything to add?

[01Brianna]

Hi Merlin, I'm so sorry I've taken so long to answer these questions. I am really struggling with this. I don't know how to answer some of them.

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

No there is not and never was.

Describe how the illusion of an independent, self came into being by giving examples from actual experience.

I can't remember a time before the illusion of an independent self. I presume I believed what I was told by my parents and the world over my own experience of Self. Then added my experiences filtered through this belief to the paradigm and gradually built up a picture of who I thought I was. Living as if I was that person then led to experiences which seemed to justify the belief and so on. For example I was told I was a failure, I believed I was a failure, so I judged myself in terms of achievement and every time I failed to achieve something that strengthened my belief that I was a failure. Because of that belief I often didn't attempt things (because I believed I would fail) and when I did attempt things I usually gave them up, either when there was some difficulty (because I assumed I was going to fail), or if things were going well then I think I gave them up to confirm that I was a failure (because succeeding would not fit with my belief).

Then give some experiential examples of how life changed for you after seeing through this illusion.

I can accept life the way it is. There is no me causing difficulties and having problems and being inadequate to meet situations. I have become able to take opportunities which present themselves which I was too scared to do before. I am not afraid of 'other people' now. It is easier to communicate and I am far less reactive than before.

How does it feel to see this?

Very good. I feel clearer and less vulnerable and can enjoy life more. I am filled with curiosity about what life is presenting rather than fear and reactivity.

What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Sorry again about the last few weeks! I have made several drafts attempting to answer the questions but got confused and nearly gave up. There has been a gradual ongoing unfolding of experiences which are showing me the sticky bits of my habitual illusory separate self. I now enjoy exploring this stuff, understanding it and letting it go. Before I was fighting with it all and feeling overwhelmed by it and I resented having to deal with it.

Can you remember any specific inquiry that resulted in an epiphany? ..a before and after seeing the actuality of the Self. Was there a point when you ‘got it’?

No. This has been a long time brewing, and 2 steps forward, one step back for a long time. Lots of self-doubt.

a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how these things happen and how they work.

This is difficult. The only decision or intention or choice which is possible is to accept what is, to know the truth, to live in alignment with consciousness (or not). There is no more free will than that. My illusory separate self has no control (as it doesn't even exist). The body/mind appears to make decisions, choices etc. but these are only the inevitable playing out of conditioning. Consciousness makes things happen and beings experience the happenings. Everything is one so works as a harmonious whole. There is no point trying to resist any of it, but that is what we do when we believe we are separate from everything else, and the resistance causes suffering and strengthens the belief in the separate self.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

Leaving some space so that my words and actions can come from consciousness rather than the conditioned mind/body.

Anything to add?

Thanks for all your help.

[MerlinC]

Ok the group are over looking your answers and they will get back to us shortly.

[MerlinC]

the post got confirmation I posted it again to the group

[MerlinC]

the post got confirmation I posted it again to the group

It got Buried*

[01Brianna]

Hi Merlin, thanks for getting back to me, but I’m not sure what you mean. Will someone let me know what to do next? Thanks.

[MerlinC]

Sorry I wrote that tired the post got buried on facebook so their telling me to ask you ''what are you absolutely responsible for?'' you made the distinction between consciousness and being whats that about?

[01Brianna]

Thanks.

I wasn’t sure what you meant by ‘you’ 🤣.

The conglomeration of beliefs and memories etc that I used to think of as ‘me’ isn’t responsible for anything, as it isn’t a thing. But ‘I’ am responsible for everything in my experience.

For example, I make an inquiry, then listen. Sometimes I hear someone else speaking which clarifies it for me, and sometimes I hear myself speaking my own answer to someone else. Everything in my experience is here to show me something. I am part of the whole, so we are all showing each other stuff. I am able to respond (response-able), and if I don’t respond then the programmed reactions happen.