Hi Lubo,
I like your seeing that there is nothing to talk about, nothing to understand
Yes, the talking seems so far away from truth now. Yet, it was also soooooo incredibly valuable and will be forever grateful to all "those non-dualists" posting videos, writing books and pointing.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Those are all words that doesn’t refer to anything. “Self”, “me” and “I” are figments of the imagination. It doesn’t point to anything real. They do not exist and never have.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of separate self gets formed probably around the time that language is learned, and thoughts start appearing. We are given a name as a baby and made to believe that there is a separate entity behind that name: Marz vs The Rest of the World. Comparison starts and conditioning by parents, school, church, society. A “personality/identity” is formed by identifying with thoughts such as “I’m an introvert”, “I’m not like other people”, “nobody likes me” etc. None of it is real, just like unicorns and our favourite Father Christmas.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
There is surprise and shock. This illusion seemed so real! It felt so real! There is also great relief, a sense of peace, knowing that there is nobody here who is in charge of anything. That things don’t have to be/can’t be any other way that they are. Body does what body does. Mind does what mind does, just like everything else: trees, birds, cars, mountains.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
No idea really. There was a lot of looking during day 4 – 6 of meditation retreat. Was it the surrender? Was it the giving up? Who knows!? 😊 I can’t pinpoint a moment when self disappeared. Day 7 morning it was just gone.
5) Describe decision & give examples from experience.
It appears that a Marz had made a decision to become a Support Worker. Yet, Marz does not exist. So, decision can’t exist. Becoming a support worker just happened. Life circumstances happened, the opportunity arose, the belief that I have “the right personality for the job” happened. Having a lot of empathy happened (probably genetic), the conditioning to be kind and caring happened etc etc etc. There was never any Marz that made a decision. Life just happens.
Describe intention & give examples from experience
. Intention is an illusion, just as Marz is an illusion. A thought comes up such as “I want to ring my sister tonight”. Prior to this thought, there could have been a memory of sister coming up, a smell that triggered memory of sister, a sensation of guilt perhaps. Thought then claims that SOMEBODY has this intention. Yet, that is another thought. It all just happened. Nobody to intend.
Describe free will & give examples from experience.
Same as the above. “Marz” who supposedly have free will does not exist. Its all thoughts happening, doing happening. Nobody that thinks or does or wills.
Describe choice & give examples from experience.
There is no choice. It appears that a choice gets made (“somebody” choosing two ply toilet paper vs 1 ply), yet due to past experiences, economic situation, price, conditioning, beliefs/thoughts selection happens. Thought claims: “wow, I’ve made such a good choice!”. Nobody thinking that thought. Its empty thought.
Describe control & give examples from experience.
Another illusion. Same as decision, intention, free will and choice. Control implies that there is a person who controls. Person don’t exist. Control does not exist.
What makes things happen? How does it work?
I have no bloomin’ idea. It’s all just empty, mysterious, beautiful movement from this point of view. Everything else is speculation. Even "happening" is probably inaccurate? It implies a beginning and end, no? I can't find a beginning and end.
What are you responsible for?
Who? 😊
6) Anything to add?
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, merci, blagodarya ti!!!
