Hello!

[Luchana]

Hi Mary,

I had written this long post explaining why I had struggle with expectations on this realization once again, and then laughed at it realizing it's just usual crap. HAha I guess expectations will go on just as they want to.
:) Sorry it took so long to reply anyway.

Yea... when the expectations are exposed usually the laughter comes :-)

I see there is no controller in thoughts as well but disidentifying from the thought process is still tricky. On one hand I notice thoughts come and go without any me in charge, without anyone arranging them in a certain order, nor making them into existence. On the other hand, whenever there is thought not immediately recognized as such, there is this simultaneous pulling or pushing on that thought that creates a movement and a following stream of thoughts... I don't really know how to express this clearly, but this motion around thought is what creates the feeling of being involved in thinking.
I am sure it is just the force of habit that makes it so compelling, but I get a little stuck here...

Мmm, yea.It is habitual..and common.

Let's look closely who or what feels a stuck here?
Is there something REAL out of a thought about something?
And WHERE exactly it can or can't stuck?


And here are some questions regarding time like we spoke last time. But no rush.

What is time (in this very moment)?

How time is experienced?

What is past and future?

How past or future is experienced?

Does past or future ‘exists’ other than contents of thoughts?

Is there a proof that you had dinner last night?

Is there any experiential proof whatsoever that the past has ever happened?

Much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Hi Luchana :)

Let's look closely who or what feels stuck here?

Haha! Right…there is only the thought about me being stuck :) But no stuck me anywhere

Is there something REAL out of a thought about something?

No. Some thoughts can point to what is real but their content is never real…

And WHERE exactly it can or can't stuck?

Ahah this is funny. So many assumptions in just one sentence! A label stuck in a chain of labels haha
Thanks for helping to bring back clarity!

What is time (in this very moment)?

It is a word, like "I" that points to something that doesn't actually exists...

How time is experienced?

Time cannot be experienced.
I don't find time in my moment to moment experience. I can find a constant change of colors, shapes, sounds, sensations, thoughts, but time as a sort of quantifiable substance in which these changes take place is just a concept. It cannot be perceived. I can even hear a clock ticking but that is just the motion of a pendulum! No time involved! We can never perceive time but only events happening in terms of other events. As a wonderful symphony of rhythms :)

What is past and future?

Thoughts, concepts

How past or future is experienced?

It can never be experienced. Only thoughts about it can be experienced

Does past or future ‘exists’ other than contents of thoughts?

Nope!

Is there a proof that you had dinner last night?

Haha this one is quite unsettling. Actually not without going into thoughts. Right here right now there is a sensation of being full, but without the memory(thought) of having dinner... no dinner here now

Is there any experiential proof whatsoever that the past has ever happened?

No, and it is pretty mind blowing :O

Much love,
Mary

[Luchana]

Hi Mary,

you did a very good looking.

Thanks for helping to bring back clarity!

you are more than welcome :-)

Time cannot be experienced.
I don't find time in my moment to moment experience. I can find a constant change of colors, shapes, sounds, sensations, thoughts, but time as a sort of quantifiable substance in which these changes take place is just a concept. It cannot be perceived. I can even hear a clock ticking but that is just the motion of a pendulum! No time involved! We can never perceive time but only events happening in terms of other events. As a wonderful symphony of rhythms :)

Beautiful!

Haha this one is quite unsettling. Actually not without going into thoughts. Right here right now there is a sensation of being full, but without the memory(thought) of having dinner... no dinner here now

Yea, it seems unsettling to the habitual idea of time, but when it is looked at directly no proof can be found.

Let's look some more in the so called "now" or the "present moment"

What is the experience of the "now" moving along the line of time?

How fast the present moment is actually moving?

How long does the now last?

Where does it start and where does it end?

When does the now exactly become the past?

How is it known that the now is moving? Or that it lasts?

How is it known exactly that there is such thing as 'now'?

What is the actual experience of 'now' or 'the present moment'?


Have fun :-)

Much love,
Luchana

[Luchana]

Hi Mery,

and Merry Christmas!

Trust all is good.
How's the looking going on?
How do you feel?

Much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Hello Luchana,
As we already spoke, in the last couple of weeks a wave of resistance arose and I'm not sure if I should give attention to that or just carry on with the exploration now that I feel ready to continue.
The thing is that is seems pointless to investigate on something that is not here right now. I perceive a sort of inconsistency in everything apart from what is now. It is something that clearly changed in these months...
Resistance and guilt and fear of failure felt real in the last weeks, but now, reflecting upon what happened in the past seems kind of futile. It is strange to say it but it is almost as if it never happened. The past acquired this vague/dreamy aspect and it is way less sticky.
What is your take on this?
With love,
Mary

[Luchana]

Hi Mary,

Resistance and guilt and fear of failure felt real in the last weeks, but now, reflecting upon what happened in the past seems kind of futile. It is strange to say it but it is almost as if it never happened. The past acquired this vague/dreamy aspect and it is way less sticky.

Everything you describe is common and these things do come up.
And very often huge amount of people stop there because the pull into identification feels very real.
Unfortunately It is not enough to see trough the illusion once and than too cary on like before, it is just not possible :-)
More further looking is needed.
Once the illusion of a separate self is seen trough this doesn't mean that we are going to be at peace undisturbed by any emotion. Identificatioon can happen and mostly like will happen and again - more looking is needed :-)

Can you look -
Is there an expectation hiding that remaining untouched by stories, or emotions must or should be happening 24/7?
The truth is reliable, it's. always here when it is looked at.

Now in this very moment when you look -

Is there a "me", self, someone or something separate out of a thought about a "me" somewhere to be found?


Sending much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Hi Luchana,

Once the illusion of a separate self is seen trough this doesn't mean that we are going to be at peace undisturbed by any emotion. Identification can happen and mostly like will happen and again - more looking is needed :-)

Yes i can see this...

Is there an expectation hiding that remaining untouched by stories, or emotions must or should be happening 24/7?

Maybe not 24/7 ahah but there is an expectation of less identification. But for whom?? Who can be less identified with thoughts? How can a thought identify with anything?
I am going to contemplate on this going through the day...

Is there a "me", self, someone or something separate out of a thought about a "me" somewhere to be found?

No, there is no me existing apart from thougths.

With love,
Mary

[Luchana]

Hi Mary,

Maybe not 24/7 ahah but there is an expectation of less identification. But for whom?? Who can be less identified with thoughts? How can a thought identify with anything?
I am going to contemplate on this going through the day...

Yes, less identification can happen and mostly like it is a constant unfolding, not a fixed position.

And exactly - can a thought identify?
What can a thought do?

No, there is no me existing apart from thougths.

Nice :-)

What is here then?


Much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Hi Luchana :)
It is getting clearer.

And exactly - can a thought identify?
What can a thought do?

No, it can't. A thought can simply appear and disappear.

What is here then?

Everything else is still here. The visual field, body sensations, sounds, thoughts (even about a me)... but no me, simple as that! Yet the mind will continue to doubt and it's ok, it is a conditioning, a reaction... :)

Much love,
Mary

[Luchana]

Hi Mery,

Everything else is still here. The visual field, body sensations, sounds, thoughts (even about a me)... but no me, simple as that! Yet the mind will continue to doubt and it's ok, it is a conditioning, a reaction... :)

Yea, conditioning still operates and it needs further looking. Seeing that there is no one driving the bus is just the first (but crucial) step. Our main focus here is whether we can find something separate in our own direct experience.
A separate self, autonomous entity with free volition and control?
Do you find an experiential proof that there is such thing?
Can you say with a big fat "yes" that self is a mental fabrication? A fiction? Thought?

Much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Hey Luchana,
I am testing this questions. I want to be sure the "yes" is big and fat. :)
I'll get back in the next few days.
Much love,
Mary

[Luchana]

Hey Mary,

sure - take your time.

Tomorrow there will a meeting and If you feel an impulse message me to provide details.
Those meetings can be very supporting.

Much love,
Luchana

[Meri]

Oh thank you for telling me! Sorry I've just seen the message
Unfortunately I don't think I can make it tomorrow. I have a big exam on friday and still have a lot to study :/
Love,
Mary