Into the great wide open...

[warissem]

Hi

Here is what is seen while sitting on the chair now:
There is presence (like the sky).
There is sensation (like clouds): sound, color, touch
There are thoughts (like clouds): color and sound forms about sensation and thought.

Great, you have done a good job.
Do you notice that you didn't put a you, yourself in the scene?

You know why : it is not here, so simple. Everything is happening and there is no need for a you. Is it clear?

Best for you

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

I am traveling and will try to keep answering.

Is it clear?

Yes and no.

Yes: I sit here, I notice color, sound, sensation, and thought appearing. I don't see any "doer". It just appears. It seems clear on this level.
No: Intuitively, something is hanging on; I don't know what it is, but something is. I can't find it. There is still tension. I may have to look more...

[warissem]

Good evening

There is still tension

How is it expressing in the body : look directly at this, stay with it and see what happens.

Good look

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

stay with it and see what happens

When I keep my attention on the tension, the tensions seems to dissipate.

However, it seems I cannot not sense. I know what it's like when there's no sound. I know what it's like when there's no color. I do not know what it's like when there is no sensation, it always seems to be there.

[warissem]

Good morning

All what is, IS. Colors, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations. There is knowing of all the appearances and of thoughts. Is there a place for a you, a separate self ?
Knowing is happening when there are appearances
Knowing is happening when there are thoughts
Knowing is happening when there is silence.

Look at direct experience.

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

No answer is coming, because it is not known how to answer.

I'm continuously looking at direct experience all along the day. I am not detecting a separate self.

Just as I wrote this, breathing stopped for some seconds and doing paused. With the breathe stopping, and a stopping overall, in the recognition of the stopping, and the recognition of the recognition, in the silence and "blood pumping", there seemed to be something "there". Somethings seems to be "there". When stopping the breathe, something seems to be there.

[warissem]

Hi

Yes, being, aliveness, presence, awareness.

There is an exercise for you :

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts – examine your direct experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire:-

How is the movement controlled?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
Who or what chose which hand - the left or right hand for the exercise?
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Best for you

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

There is a sensation of "palm turning". There is no chooser or other entity found that steers the movement.

[warissem]

Hi

Great. How about decision, is there a decision maker ?
Are choosing what to eat at breakfast ?
Are you responsible for something ?

Ponder on each question and elaborate your answers.

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

Travels are over. I hope to be on here every day again.

How about decision, is there a decision maker ?

I don't know. I see things happening (color, sensation). There are "decision"-thoughts. More things happen (color, sensation). I don't see any decision maker. Something about observing "decision" feels weird.

I will answer the questions on "breakfast" and "responsible", once I observed it in direct experience tomorrow.

[warissem]

Good evening

I wait for your answers.

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

Answering from the top after running and meditating.

How about decision, is there a decision maker ?

I don't see any. Thoughts appear, typing happens.

That said, I find it difficult to look for a decision maker in direct experience, since it seems by observing, the doing seems....... to... pause... or..... stop. (A bit like observing the breathe, can make it change.)

Are choosing what to eat at breakfast ?

(I'm telling a memory now of direct experience.) There were glimpses of awareness: hunger ("sensation"), looking into fridge ("colors"), thought "I want this". Was there a chooser? I couldn't see one.

Are you responsible for something ?

I don't know. There is direct experience, and there's more direct experience, and then there's more direct experience. Things happen.
There are thoughts like "I need to take care of this body, I need to make sure it gets food and shelter and other needs to function."... I don't know where these thoughts are coming from. Things happen.

[warissem]

Good morning

I am glad to read your answers. We have gone through the process.

Is there still seeking ? if so, what is missing ?
Feel free to expose any doubt about this stuff.

Are you ready to answer to the final questions which are usually asked in this forum ?

best for you

Warissem

[whiterabbit]

Thankyou warissem for being here throughout and grounding me again and again in direct experience.

I don't experience doubt, nor do I experience no doubt.
There seems to be a sensation of "tightness" in this body and a desire "I want ease", and also thoughts "I don't understand where the tightness comes from".

I may need more looking into the direct experience of the tightness. Not to dissolve it, but to "know" it.

[warissem]

Hi

Yes, you want ease and there is tightness.

Sit or lay down comfortably, relax the body and the mind and LOOK at this words :

"ease" : where does it manifest in the body ? What is meant by "ease" ?
"tightness" : where does it manifest in the body ? What is meant by "tightness" ?

That is all for now, ponder on each question.

Warissem