Extra ordinary

[Anastacia42]

Direct actual experience is where your answers are. They are there and only there. You will not find them in thought stories. Thought stories are what are keeping you from seeing what is.

Thought content lies.

Loving,
Stacy

[Anisha]

Of course, Stacy. Thanks for the much needed reminder.
The gravity of habit - UGH!

[Anastacia42]

I know. That's why I guide.

[Anisha]

And you do it well :)
Thanks for not letting me get away with the escapist nonsense! Aargh.

[Anastacia42]

Thank you.

Try the next one & be sure to tell me what it is. I don't know the order. I guess I could look.

Loving,
Stacy

[Anisha]

Hi Stacy,

okay, so I looked at the ‘Beginning Thinking’ exercise, and here is what I found:

When tracking thoughts back to their beginning, I was unable to find any point at which their ‘non-existence’ became existence – do they pop into existence, do they fade into existence? I don’t know. They did seem to arise from some kind of ‘ground’ (cue imagery of a lava lamp with blobs forming, arising and descending back into the 'lava').

When resting in that non-place place, the entire body seemed to be buzzing with a light vibration. There also was a menthol-like sensation in the chest area which seemed to be expanding, and a lightness in the area of the head – as if the top of the skull had been removed, and with it much of the usually present level of restriction and tightness.

When I did the exercise with eyes closed, clarity of proprioception varied. At times it felt as if the body was swaying (like when in a boat floating on water) or proportions were distorted, at other times, sensation in patches of the body or of entire body parts seemed to disappear. The perceived (or rather: assumed) border between body and surroundings was less clear, the two seemed to be blending into each other. When resting in that ‘ground of origin’, body (and mind) felt lighter, with very little tension.

Trying to track the ‘me-ness’ to its supposed beginning, it became clear that the sense of ‘I’ always and only arises together with a sensation or a thought – without that kind of ‘carrier’ or contact, the idea of ‘I’ seemed to lack ‘fuel’. Then, stepping past that elusive beginning of ‘I’, the ‘ground’ from which the ‘I’ sensation arises seemed to be the same as the one that is the origin of (or prior to) thought, some sort of vast soupy nothingness which contains everything (an interpretation, of course – I don’t know how else to describe this mental sensation).

Apart from those observations, I noticed that there was quite a pronounced reluctance, even restistance of the mind to engage in the investigation - less so once it was underway, but the mind really really didn't like the idea of it all. Hilarious.

[Anastacia42]

Okay, good. That one may be my favorite.

I see you tried to include Seeing, Hearing, Feeling body Sensations. Taste & Smell aren't our main Senses in the developed world.

was unable to find any point at which their ‘non-existence’ became existence –

Correct. We don't know & we will never know. It is a Mystery.

Let go of even wanting to know. Just experience the Direct Actual Experience. Nothing else.

The lava image is fun, but it isn't AE. It's another story. Drop those in order to SEE.

When resting in that non-place place, the entire body seemed to be buzzing with a light vibration. There also was a menthol-like sensation in the chest area which seemed to be expanding, and a lightness in the area of the head – as if the top of the skull had been removed, and with it much of the usually present level of restriction and tightness.

Okay, a little too much explanation, but mostly focused on DE.

DE would be:

Buzzing
Vibrating
Tingling
Expanding
Light
Relaxed or relaxing

Remember this from one of our first pointers?


DE rarely happens in full sentences. Often we are to blown away to even form full sentences, but not always.

.

body (and mind) felt lighter, with very little tension.

Now, are these Sensations in the realm of truth or lie? In which family of Feelings?


These are the Sensations to be with. Yes.

sense of ‘I’ always and only arises together with a sensation or a thought

"I" is, in fact, nothing more than a made up story, a complete fabrication, a LIE.

reluctance, even restistance of the mind to engage in the investigation - less so once it was underway, but the mind really really didn't like the idea of it all. Hilarious

"Resistance is useless!"

Both the Borg (Star Trek) and the Vogons (Hitchhiker's Guide)

Give up! Let go!

Yeah, thank it for sharing & continue to LOOK.

Have fun with the next one.

Love
Stacy

[Anisha]

Remember this from one of our first pointers?

Yes, of course. I wasn’t sure in which format & in how much detail I was expected to answer, and if I were to basically answer the intructor’s questions in the recording. I’ll do my best to stay on the straight and narrow!

Now, are these Sensations in the realm of truth or lie? In which family of Feelings?

Truth.

“Resistance is useless!”

We’re in agreement here. :D

Give up! Let go!

I’m trying, I’m trying!
How can this be so difficult?!
(...yes yes, just a thought - and I'm sure the 'trying' doesn't help much either)

Have fun with the next one.

I did that one (“Perceiving Receiving”) straight away. The body felt relaxed and expanded, fairly light, spine and chest became very hot (the sensation still lingers), hearing became somewhat more acute. No life-changing answer was received (or else I was unable to recognise it as such), but the bodily sensations of the attitude (?) of receiving were clear.


Love,
Jana

[Anastacia42]

Well, to be fair, those instructions were only given here, not in the recordings.

But it's still helpful. Only DE exists anywhere but our minds.

The body felt relaxed and expanded, fairly light, spine and chest became very hot (the sensation still lingers), hearing became somewhat more acute.

All good. Very good, in fact. How about vision? For me, the world glowed for a long time with SEEING.

No life-changing answer was received (or else I was unable to recognise it as such), but the bodily sensations of the attitude (?) of receiving were clear.

That's an expectation about "life-changing answers." That can be dropped.

Have you read "Gateless Gatecrashers?" (a free download here under Resources) or "Liberation Unleashed?" (for purchase on Amazon & such). If not, please do. That may help you to know where you're going.

This can be helpful. I think you know this, but it can't hurt.

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c


Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

Loving,
Stacy

[Anisha]

How about vision?

No noticable change in vision (yet?), no.

That's an expectation about "life-changing answers." That can be dropped.

Ah, that was only a reference to the guy in the recording instructing people to ask a question receiving the answer to which would forever change their lives – I wasn’t actually expecting anything of the kind. :D

Have you read "Gateless Gatecrashers?"

I read about half of it before I came here, then decided to put it aside because I felt it might create unhelpful expectations. But I’m happy to pick it up again if you think it would be useful.

https://youtu.be/wyNwhK2Ur1c

Reminders like these are always helpful. :)

Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

No. And no.

[Anastacia42]

Okay. Vision may not change. Just wondering.

Ah, I forgot about that question in the recording. Sorry.

Re: reading. nah. You've got it.

Do you FEEL any different since we started this dialogue? Are you still seeking?

You see, your answers are perfect. And I want to know whether they're coming from thinking or SEEING?

Is there a subject, a noun that lives life, or is life just verbs?


Loving,
Stacy

[Anisha]

Hi Stacy,

Do you FEEL any different since we started this dialogue? Are you still seeking?

That is a good question (or two good questions rather)! The first one is more difficult to answer, as it would have to be both a ‘yes’ and a ‘no’; the perceived shift feels subtle (and hard to pin down). The big ball of fire in my chest doesn’t feel quite so subtle, but I don’t know if that’s anything to go by.

The answer to the second question comes more easily (unexpectedly): no, I don’t think so – to be honest, I wouldn’t know what to seek for anymore. At the same time it feels as if this is only the entrance to the rabbit hole, so while there’s nothing more to seek, there’s still an infinity to explore.

You see, your answers are perfect. And I want to know whether they're coming from thinking or SEEING?

I wish I could answer that question with certainty, but I can’t – oddly, even the lines between the two seem to have become blurry! I’m not sure this is how it’s ‘supposed to be’ haha!

Is there a subject, a noun that lives life, or is life just verbs?

More time might be needed to observe that, but at this moment life seems to be in verb mode.


Would you have any suggestion how I might probe deeper into the current state of affairs – in addition to the tools already in use – to clear up the uncertainty? The mild confusion/incredulity probably stems from the ambivalence of no longer knowing what to seek for on one hand and the casualness with which it has dropped (if it actually turns out to have dropped). No bells, no whistles?! I feel cheated. :D

Much love,
Jana

[Anastacia42]

Awww. Please don't feel cheated. In my opinion, you're doing the most valuable thing a human can ever do! Sometimes it is gentle & subtle.

it feels as if this is only the entrance to the rabbit hole, so while there’s nothing more to seek, there’s still an infinity to explore.

Exactly right!

We're going to explore some more.

More time might be needed to observe that, but at this moment life seems to be in verb mode.

Yes. Keep watching. With no "I" no subject life is all verbing. Just life life-ing!

Here's one:



Introductory Body Exercise

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes. Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc) before replying.

Loving,

~ Stacy

[Anisha]

Hi Stacy,

here is what I found:

Can it be known how tall the body is? Does the body have a weight or volume? In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

No – when only relying on pure sensation data, there’s no sense of height, mass, or shape.

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing? Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

There’s only sensation of contact/touch/pressure, but none of ‘boundary’ – boundary can only be found in the realm of concept, not in direct experience.

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - the inside of what exactly? If there is an outside - the outside of what exactly?

Experientially, while ’outside’ is easily identifiable as nothing but a mental concept, there’s still a sense of ‘inside’ – which obviously is only a mental concept too (how could there be an ‘inside’ without an ‘outside’, after all?), but that particular illusion seems to be stickier still for some reason. It obviously doesn’t make sense, however, and cannot be validated by actual experience.

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to? What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

The actual experience of ‘body’ is that of an agglomeration of processes/happenings which cause, or are accompanied by, sensations. What a CON to have that turned into fuel for an epic narrative of 'I'!! Yet, especially when pain is present (which obviously is a concept, an abstraction, and nothing that can be directly experienced), the power of the story-telling machinery seems to really be ramping up - headache day today, which made this easy to see.


Good (my) night :)
Jana

[Anastacia42]

Yes to all & yes, it's a con, for sure!


Deeper Body Investigation

Here is an even deeper investigation of the body. Please follow each step, don't leave out any. Take your time. Don't move to the next step until the previous one is clearly seen.

Repeat the exercise several times.

Stand in front of a bigger mirror.

(1) First, close the eyes and feel the sensations labelled ‘body’.

(2) Then open the eyes and look into the mirror while still paying attention to the sensations. Is there any connection between the felt sensations and the image in the mirror? Or just thoughts (and/or mental images) suggest that there is?

(3) While still paying attention to the sensations move one hand and observe the movement from the mirror. Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and image of movement in the mirror?

(4) Now do the same movement with the hand, but this time look at the hand directly, not from the mirror. Is there any connection between the felt sensations (labelled ‘hand’) and the image ‘of movement’? Or only thoughts suggest it?

(5) Now, pay attention only to the image in the mirror. Does the image by itself suggest in any way that is ‘you’ or ‘your body’? Does the image itself suggest in any way that it is a ‘body’ at all? Or are there only colours and shapes?

(6) Where the mirror ends, some parts of the body (probably legs) cannot be seen. Just by the image in the mirror, is there any ‘knowledge’ that there must be legs, or only thoughts and mental images suggest so?

(7) Now turn away from the mirror and look forward (don’t look directly to any body parts).

Is there a ‘body’ anywhere when all thoughts and images are ignored, or are there only sensations?

(8) Start to walk slowly.

Is there a ‘body walking’, or are there only sensations?
Is there actual experience of ‘walking’ at all?

Or just THOUGHTS ABOUT ‘walking’?

Can such a thing as ‘body’ be found OR just THOUGHTS ABOUT a ‘body’?

Can such a thing as ‘walking’ be found?

(9) Are the sensations localized in space, like ‘going through the room’; OR is there only an image that is labelled ‘room’ and appearing sensations without any location?

Loving,

~ Stacy