Dear Stacy,
I hope that it is okay, I will answer the first few questions, and then respond with the last questions, tomorrow.
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
A recent statement by Lera Boroditsky (
https://irl.umsl.edu/oer/13/) points out a common observation made throughout time that, "language shapes the way we think." What I have learned, is that language truly defies nature Herself, literally. Not unlike the story of Eden, when our bodies are born they are indivisible from the parents, family, AND environment in which they find themselves. Eyes closed, one sees an infinite void of darkness. Eyes open, one sees an infinite screen of happenings. One creates and destroys the seen world with eyes open, eyes closed. Naturally, one is born absolutely innocent really; open and vulnerable. There is no shred of a separate self in this experience for any body experiencing a birth (this would apply to all children, animals, and plant life as well : ). Prior to learning language, every child, all around the world, inheres the honest truth of our nature. It is inherited because it it innate. It can never be seen, or heard, sensed, or imagined because it is the nature of seeing, hearing sensing, and thinking. When one interacts with a newborn, they may notice the intent gaze, the fluid engagement of sound and sensing in the newborn. Many would say of this child, "they are innocent and curious." We were all once innocently and curiously engaging as seeing, hearing, sensing, and thinking.
As one then naturally progresses through development, one begins to learn language and assumes a me and you, a subject and a verb, and this creates a relative and temporary support for expression and communication. Our innate nature was simply "overlooked" by language with when we begin to use a personal "I," interestingly as we assume this characterization of a personality, we simultaneously lose the first person singular experience.
To say we have a separate self, we have to realize that on several levels, we are defying the facts. Nothing is "separate" from anything in any way. No matter how hard we try to fortify the separate self idea, at the end of the day, it simply is an idea. It is not at our command to create the reality of a separate I. There is no personal "I," anywhere. There never has never and never will be. It is a reference thought used in communication. What is undeniable is our true nature, and luckily it was always the case, and is forever the unchangeable.
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3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.[/quote]
In this nonverbal, clear SEEING, sensations arise, and thoughts arise. The still source of this SEEING Is as it always Is…
Although, for the purposes of communicating though, I can describe an experience of *effervescience ( play on words). It’s light and disappearing, it’s still and spacious, empty of emptiness… it is freeing.
[quote]4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?[/quote]
I suppose the truth is desperation made me look. How could it be that I have no recollection of asking to be here, and yet having to experience everything without an real solution or option otherwise? How could it be that some are born so fortunate, and others naturally will be destined for hardship and ill-fate? How could it be that relationships are so vital and yet so flawed? "I" was desperate really to end the insanity.
