Who am I?

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Thank you for your nice responses :)

Well, your answers are the ‘right answers’. Now, there are two options. You either not really seeing this, rather just intellectual understanding it, OR, you are actually seeing it, but you expect something more, something else.

So, which one feels to be true for you?

Is there something that is missing?

Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

So, which one feels to be true for you?

There's still some lingering slight concern that this has somehow just been a big old intellectualization, but there is also an undoubtable directness and vividness to this as well that wasn't here before. And even the concern can be seen as another appearance in this already complete awareness/aware-ing. So it does feel truer that it's being seen, and there were just some expectations that weren't totally realized as expectations earlier. The ordinariness of this wasn't expected. But in a subtle way it is also much more profound and beautiful than anything that possibly could have been expected.

Is there something that is missing?

Just to be sure, and to address some lingering doubts, could we look at "movement" through some pointers/questions a bit more? What is appearing as the movement of the body, walking, moving of items etc. We looked at the notion of "control", and it is seen that sensations, thoughts, hearing, seeing etc. simply happen automatically. But there's a sense that there's something about the movement of the body that could be more clear, maybe you can help with that.

-Markus

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Sure, we can look at that. Here I is an exercise for you.

Please spend as much time as you can in the midst of your daily life observing and noticing how the body moves, how it feels, what it does.

You can notice how the legs are moving as walking happens.

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?
Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

Notice all sorts of sensations in the body.

Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

Please spend lots of time in the midst of your everyday life observing this.

Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?
Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

The legs are just moving and there isn't someone making that happen. Yes it's very effortless. There's the legs simply moving, and then there is a commentary of thoughts and all kinds of things going in. In the midst of all that, there is no person moving the legs though.

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

Something that is happening. It can be seen to be happening yes, but the "doer" of it cannot be found. It is just an assumption that there is someone making that happen, and when looked, that assumption is full of holes and doesn't hold water.

Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

Sensations are simply there, no one is making them happen. They just appear and disappear. There was even a sudden acutely painful sensation (cramp) going on today as I was sitting and it could be seen as just another sensation, and this calmed the body and thoughts about it down as well, and the pain eventually passed on its own without even requiring a reaction from the body to do so. The question arose as a thought: "is there something here that is always at peace?" at the peak intensity of that sensation, and it was seen that through this perception, the sensations really don't have a place to "land" so to speak, they just appear and disappear in this essential undisturbed peace.

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

It's just happening automatically. At first there was a fear to that (fearful thoughts) like losing all control/autonomy or something, but there is also a unwavering peacefulness to it. Nothing is in control, everything is just happening, so nothing needs to be "done", and nothing could be done.

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

Hands just move. It is very interesting though seeing it like this. The washing of hands for example is very very interesting when there is attention on it. All the intense tactile sensations going on, the temperature of the water, the visual appearance of the bubbles, the smells etc. All just happening and appearing very effortlessly. All those other "routine" things are also very interesting when simply seeing them as happening without any seeming doer there "exerting effort".

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

None can be found. Even the idea of such a thing existing seems kind of absurd at least at the moment. What would be the necessity for such a "mediator" in between the body and awareness of the body. It seems it would be totally impossible for such a thing to exist. So all "it" can or could ever do is seem to exist, as an unexamined assumption.

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?
Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

The legs are just moving and there isn't someone making that happen. Yes it's very effortless. There's the legs simply moving, and then there is a commentary of thoughts and all kinds of things going in. In the midst of all that, there is no person moving the legs though.

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

Something that is happening. It can be seen to be happening yes, but the "doer" of it cannot be found. It is just an assumption that there is someone making that happen, and when looked, that assumption is full of holes and doesn't hold water.

Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

Sensations are simply there, no one is making them happen. They just appear and disappear. There was even a sudden acutely painful sensation (cramp) going on today as I was sitting and it could be seen as just another sensation, and this calmed the body and thoughts about it down as well, and the pain eventually passed on its own without even requiring a reaction from the body to do so. The question arose as a thought: "is there something here that is always at peace?" at the peak intensity of that sensation, and it was seen that through this perception, the sensations really don't have a place to "land" so to speak, they just appear and disappear in this essential undisturbed peace.

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

It's just happening automatically. At first there was a fear to that (fearful thoughts) like losing all control/autonomy or something, but there is also a unwavering peacefulness to it. Nothing is in control, everything is just happening, so nothing needs to be "done", and nothing could be done.

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

Hands just move. It is very interesting though seeing it like this. The washing of hands for example is very very interesting when there is attention on it. All the intense tactile sensations going on, the temperature of the water, the visual appearance of the bubbles, the smells etc. All just happening and appearing very effortlessly. All those other "routine" things are also very interesting when simply seeing them as happening without any seeming doer there "exerting effort".

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

None can be found. Even the idea of such a thing existing seems kind of absurd at least at the moment. What would be the necessity for such a "mediator" in between the body and awareness of the body. It seems it would be totally impossible for such a thing to exist. So all "it" can or could ever do is seem to exist, as an unexamined assumption.

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

When walking, what do you do in order for the legs to move?
Are you making walking happen, or it just happens automatically and effortlessly?

The legs are just moving and there isn't someone making that happen. Yes it's very effortless. There's the legs simply moving, and then there is a commentary of thoughts and all kinds of things going in. In the midst of all that, there is no person moving the legs though.

When you sit down, or stand up, is this something you do, or something that is happening?

Something that is happening. It can be seen to be happening yes, but the "doer" of it cannot be found. It is just an assumption that there is someone making that happen, and when looked, that assumption is full of holes and doesn't hold water.

Are you making the sensations happen, or they are there, without anyone or anything making them to be?

Sensations are simply there, no one is making them happen. They just appear and disappear. There was even a sudden acutely painful sensation (cramp) going on today as I was sitting and it could be seen as just another sensation, and this calmed the body and thoughts about it down as well, and the pain eventually passed on its own without even requiring a reaction from the body to do so. The question arose as a thought: "is there something here that is always at peace?" at the peak intensity of that sensation, and it was seen that through this perception, the sensations really don't have a place to "land" so to speak, they just appear and disappear in this essential undisturbed peace.

When breathing happens, are you making it to happen, or it happens automatically without anyone making it happen?

It's just happening automatically. At first there was a fear to that (fearful thoughts) like losing all control/autonomy or something, but there is also a unwavering peacefulness to it. Nothing is in control, everything is just happening, so nothing needs to be "done", and nothing could be done.

When preparing food, or eating, washing your hands, typing, brushing your teeth, dressing up, are you making the hands move, or the hands just move by themselves?

Hands just move. It is very interesting though seeing it like this. The washing of hands for example is very very interesting when there is attention on it. All the intense tactile sensations going on, the temperature of the water, the visual appearance of the bubbles, the smells etc. All just happening and appearing very effortlessly. All those other "routine" things are also very interesting when simply seeing them as happening without any seeming doer there "exerting effort".

Is there a central controller somewhere in the body, from where strings are pulled to lift the arms, and move the body? Or all of it just happening automatically?

None can be found. Even the idea of such a thing existing seems kind of absurd at least at the moment. What would be the necessity for such a "mediator" in between the body and awareness of the body. It seems it would be totally impossible for such a thing to exist. So all "it" can or could ever do is seem to exist, as an unexamined assumption.

[FinnApe]

Oh wow, sorry about that. It seems the website was lagging somehow

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Yes, sometimes there are issues with the site.

it was seen that through this perception, the sensations really don't have a place to "land" so to speak, they just appear and disappear in this essential undisturbed peace.

Yes, it’s beautiful :)

Here is a similar exercise, but this time focusing on the effortlessness of things.

Please sit for some time and just notice how everything is just happening effortlessly.

Look around.
What is being done for colors and shapes to be? Is there anything be done for colors and shapes to be, or they are just there effortlessly?

Listen to the sounds.
What is being done exactly for the sounds to be?

And when the attention is on a sound, what is being done to know the sound? Is there any doing? Or it’s just known effortlessly?

Now shift the focus on FEELING the body.
What is being done exactly for the body to be?
Or the body just IS, effortlessly?


Focus on the sensations of the hands.

What is being done for the sensations to be?
Aren’t the sensations happens effortlessly?


Look at the hands.
What is being done exactly for the image of the hand to be, to exist?
Is there a you making the image of the hands happen?
Is there any effort in seeing?

Now notice thoughts.
What is being done for thoughts to be?
Is there any effort for thoughts to appear? Or they just appear effortlessly?

What is not happening effortlessly and needs a doer?

Is there any effort in being / existing?

Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

What is being done for colors and shapes to be? Is there anything be done for colors and shapes to be, or they are just there effortlessly?

Yes they are just there totally effortlessly.

What is being done exactly for the sounds to be?

The sounds simply are as they are. Nothing is being done for sounds to be, they are effortlessly, like colors and shapes.

And when the attention is on a sound, what is being done to know the sound? Is there any doing? Or it’s just known effortlessly?

There isn't any doing to it, there is just awareness of the sound. Nobody could know sounds in the sense of grasping them somehow, since they simply appear and are known (seen) spontaneously as they do. If there were someone who they were seemingly appearing to, it would be simply yet another appearance.

What is being done exactly for the body to be?
Or the body just IS, effortlessly?

The body is effortlessly being.

What is being done for the sensations to be?
Aren’t the sensations happens effortlessly?

Nothing is being "done", they simply appear as they do.

What is being done exactly for the image of the hand to be, to exist?
Is there a you making the image of the hands happen?
Is there any effort in seeing?

The hand is just there like all the shapes and colors. Appearing with zero effort from anyone. When remaining clear of what is truly happening, there's no "me" that can be found that would make the image of the hands happen. Hands simply appear.
Seeing is effortless.

What is being done for thoughts to be?
Is there any effort for thoughts to appear? Or they just appear effortlessly?

Thoughts are automatically appearing. They are another thing that is happening. Another appearance that is seen. There is no effort for thoughts to be, and there is no effort that can be made for thoughts to stop being. Thoughts appear, but in essence there is this core peacefulness in which they appear. This peacefulness cannot truly ever be disturbed by thought, it is always here perfectly undisturbed no matter what circus show is going on.

What is not happening effortlessly and needs a doer?

All is happening effortlessly. Nothing needs a doer.

Does a river need someone to push it along? Do thoughts require someone to make them happen? Do the hands require a mover for them to move?
These types of questions are making this clearer and clearer and questions like this are now commonly spontaneously arising, the looking is happening more and more on its own in this way.

Is there any effort in being / existing?

None. Zero.

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Thoughts appear, but in essence there is this core peacefulness in which they appear. This peacefulness cannot truly ever be disturbed by thought, it is always here perfectly undisturbed no matter what circus show is going on.

Yes :)

There is one remaining exercise that we have to look at, just to make sure that we don’t leave any stone unturned.
Previously, you talked about intention. That could be a last resort, a last hiding spot for a personal self.

Lie down onto a bed. Observer very carefully how the decision arises to get up.
Can a self be found making the body leave the bed?
Where does the "decision", the "command" to get up comes from?
What makes the body get up?
Is there an ‘I’ that commands the body?
When lying there, shout 'GET UP' internally as loudly as you can. Does that affect the outcome?

Repeat this with sitting in a chair. Describe in detail the decision of standing up.
How does the decision happen exactly?
Does a self come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences?
Or does standing up just happen, or not, without any doer?
What makes the body to stand up?

Now let’s investigate intention.
Sit in a chair and observe how the intention of standing up happens.
How is it known that there is an intention to stand up?
While sitting there, say internally several times ‘I intend to get up’. What happens?
What is it that made the intention to get up?

Now, zoom onto the intention (of getting up) very closely. Look at the intention itself directly.
Stare at the intention itself. Not the thoughts of “I intend to get up”, but THE intention itself.

Can you locate THE intention itself?

How the intention is actually experienced?

Please spend a whole day investigating this again and again.

Love,
Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

Can a self be found making the body leave the bed?
Where does the "decision", the "command" to get up comes from?
What makes the body get up?
Is there an ‘I’ that commands the body?
When lying there, shout 'GET UP' internally as loudly as you can. Does that affect the outcome?

There's no self that can be found making the body get up and leave the bed. The reality is that the body does get up, but there is no one found who would make it get up. There can be thoughts about getting up, and how "I" will get up, and I should get up etc. but the getting up itself is not touched by these thoughts. These thoughts are appearing, and the getting up is appearing. There's no proof that the thoughts have anything to do with the actual reality of the body getting up.

Internally shouting "GET UP" has no impact on what happens. It is quite amusing actually, the thoughts about getting up are actually powerless in making the body get up.
I am still not and it seems I cannot be sure if there is a causality there, like does the body get up automatically as a "reaction" to some emotion that was triggered by some thought for example or did the emotion happen, the thought happen and the movement happen but they weren't caused by each other (automatically). But probably that is not relevant, because even if there is a causality and the different aspects (thinking, feeling, moving) are not just independent of each other, it still doesn't mean that there is a "me" there somehow making it all happen.

How does the decision happen exactly?
Does a self come in and take over, weighing pros and cons, looking at possible consequences?
Or does standing up just happen, or not, without any doer?
What makes the body to stand up?

What can be noticed prior to the standing up is thoughts and sensations, at times some emotions. There can be a sensation of tenseness or pain in the body, after which the body might adjust itself or stand up. There is no doer to be found however, all of these things are simply appearing and happening on their own, including any thoughts like "I should get up" or "I should not get up yet". In reality, those thoughts don't have any significance, the standing just happens or it doesn't, also the thoughts are happening or they aren't. Throughout the day, there were many times when the body stood up from a chair while thought was somewhere else totally. Clearly thought is not required for standing up to happen. The body stands up spontaneously, automatically regardless of if there are thoughts about it or not.

How is it known that there is an intention to stand up?
While sitting there, say internally several times ‘I intend to get up’. What happens?
What is it that made the intention to get up?

The "intention" is an label and holds an assumption. Thoughts and sensations have been labelled and assumed as true intention, when really here there is no true intention there in the sense that some "me" could intend to do something and then make it happen. There can be an appearance of intention, but that is just another story, not an actual thing that can control whether or not something happens.
"I intend to get up" is a thought. Thought doesn't affect whether or not the standing up itself happens or not.

Can you locate THE intention itself?

Looking closely, the intention seemed to be a sort of pressure, a tightness in the body that seemed to "push" the body to do an action. Looking even more closely, there are those sensations going on in the body, but they are just more appearances. Looking at it like this the "intention" is very insubstantial, it is just more sensation in the body. In addition to the sensations, there isn't really an "intention" anywhere that can be located, the "intention" is a thought story about the sensation.

How the intention is actually experienced?

Sensations, thoughts, but intention can't be found. There's just the happening of everything.

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Thank you. You’ve done a really nice inquiry.

How do you feel all about this?

Is there anything that is missing?
Or not complete?

Or you can clearly say without any doubt that it has been seen that there is no separate self governing life as you used to think it was?

Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,
thank you for your guidance.

How do you feel all about this?

In general, there is a feeling of gratitude for this process and community and guides. In regard to the lived experience daily, there are moments of profound peace and ease when all this is being seen directly. The power of that peace cannot be understated, there is also a blissfulness to it sometimes. Spontaneous bursts of joy, laughter and love, even in moments that are usually seen as "bad". An awe at life and reality itself is appearing at times. Which is nice, but it's not needed, in the sense that the essential beingness is still present even in times of unpleasant sensation. In times of frustration and anxiety, much more often now than ever, an automatic inquiry spontaneously happens in those moments, looking at who is it that is suffering, what is actually happening; is there a sufferer here in addition to the pain? Then it can usually be seen through quite immediately. Or in moments of seeming striving and struggle: "Can you find the effort? Where is it?" And it isn't found. So simple.

Is there anything that is missing?
Or not complete?

Nothing can be found to be missing when looked, any ideas of "something missing" are simply appearances in this present reality. There may be thoughts about something missing at times, but all those thoughts appear in an already complete beingness that cannot be ever escaped. Only it might seem as if it is not here.

Or you can clearly say without any doubt that it has been seen that there is no separate self governing life as you used to think it was?

Piles of assumptions about a governing self have been dissolved and seen through. I can't say there are no doubts, since doubts still appear at times, but usually they can be seen as simply that, appearances that don't touch this fundamental freedom that is always here now. Even doubts don't need to go away for this to be what it is. But in a sense this is not always seen as what it is. But the periods of seemingly forgetting what this is are shorter and shorter, and usually can be seen through by simply looking without assumptions at the reality of what is actually happening here now. So, it has been seen that there is no separate self, it's just a matter of looking and seeing how it is still the case every single time.

Lots of Love,
Markus

[Vivien]

Hi Marcus,

Thank you for your beautiful replies. What we usually do at this stage, we usually ask some checking questions to see if everything is clear.

Please answer the following questions with some detail please, and answer what's true for you rather than any sort of 'ideal' answer. Also please provide examples where asked.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

Vivien

[FinnApe]

Hi Vivien,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

Not any that can be found. There never could have been one; if there is an assumption of a separate "me", it is still appearing in this already immediate beingness.

2) Share in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

It is a collection of thoughts, assumptions and ideas that make it seem as if there is a separate self. There might for example be a thought like "I shouldn't have done that" or "why is this happening to me" that hold in them the assumption that there is a separate "me" doing those things. The most crucial thing was to realize that it is an assumption, that there is no actual proof for the existence of a separate "me".
When inquiring, when looking now, it is quite easy to see that no "me" can be found, whereas before there was an underlying conviction that the "me" must be operating there somewhere, it just needs to be grasped and articulated somehow. Now it's much clearer that it is impossible to find any "me" and even if such a thing were to be found, it would immediately be seen as just another appearance in consciousness/awareness, and thus could not be the one that is living/being this life in its totality. Any thing that can be found or grasped must be limited, and could never touch the unlimited totality of this life happening here now.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

Nothing much is different. All of the operations of the body are happening, thoughts are happening, feelings, sensations etc. are happening mostly as before. There is however less "stickiness" to these appearances, there is a sense that they cannot truly touch what is here now, what is happening. So there is less worry about what will happen as well.

A certain sense of ease is more readily available at times, but even as this was being written, there was a tenseness and a sense of contraction going on. What tends to happen is that that contraction and tenseness in the body is going on most of the day, but as I write about it or look into it like here, it is immediately seen in this essential spaciousness, where the tense body is just appearing. So when looked at, it is not a problem at all in any sense. Only in thoughts might there ever appear to be a problem, but when looked, no problem is available.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

I can't say it was any specific bit, but looking at "proof" for the self, and then looking at where the "doer"/"me" is located was perhaps the most fruitful for seeing what is going on. Looking at the idea of free will was also helpful.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

Decision = thoughts that arise when something is happening that is assumed to be done by an assumed separate self that seems to be making a choice between options. Actually, whatever happens, just happens, no decision is even needed. Example:
"deciding" to go to the store to buy food. --- Reality: The body is sitting there, then a thought pops into mind about how I should eat something, how the fridge is empty. There is even a feeling of hunger in the body. Then the body gets up and goes to the grocery store to get food, comes back and eats. No "decision" was made at any point, things just unfolded.

Intention = a narrative in the mind consisting of thought that holds the assumption that a separate self is there and that it could somehow intend to do something.
Example:
"intending" to lift the water bottle on the table. --- Reality: there is a thought "I will lift that water bottle" a certain anxious/apprehensive sensation in the body, and another thought about how "this is my intention". But really those were all just appearances, and there is no one to intend or to anticipate doing something. Sensations or thoughts that are interpreted as such (by more thought) could appear, but they don't make it real, true intention in any way.

Free will = a belief in a self that has will, and can freely choose what that will is used for.
Example:
A sock is thrown across the room, almost landing in the laundry bag. If there is an assumption of free will, it might look something like: thoughts: "I chose to throw that sock across the room, I could have thrown it anywhere, but I threw it over there, I could have walked over and placed it there, but I chose to throw it" etc. In reality: the impulse to grab the sock simply appears as a thought, then the sock is grabbed, then it is thrown and it flies and lands. Thoughts popped up from nowhere, with no one choosing them, and then the events unfolded, without any free will there. There is no "me" to have any more free will than what the sock has as it is in the air, flying across the room.

Choice (had to come back to this one) = The concept of choice tends to hold in it an assumption of a "chooser", a person that is choosing between different options freely. So in that sense choice doesn't even happen. But there could be an appearance of choice, but only within thought stories, not "beyond" them. Thoughts might be going on about how "I will choose the red apple instead of the green one", the body will likely act in accord and pick up the red apple. But the thoughts about choosing the red apple were never chosen by anyone, so in this way there is really no true choice happening at all, just a story of it. How much does a snowflake "choose" where to land? That's the same amount of choice that exists in regard to what thoughts appear.

Control = the assumption that there is someone or something "managing" freely how something happens. Really there is no such thing, in the sense that there is a person that can control something that is happening. What we might call "control" could be substituted for "seems to affect". For example, the sunlight affects the trees, the thoughts affect the body. The sunlight doesn't control the tress, and the thoughts don't control the body. But they do seem to affect them.
Example:
Maybe the most fun example is the idea of "controlling oneself". Some people might say to other people "control yourself!" or something along those lines. What is commonly meant by that? It's clearly a common belief that there is a self in each body, some kind of central control unit, deciding what to do and what not to do and how to do things. "Control yourself" implies firstly that there is an entity in each body that is responsible for what the body does, and secondly that that (nonexistent) entity could affect what the body does or does not do. Really the impulses simply arise, the body simply reacts in way that it might be used to, or the thoughts might cause a certain reaction based on prior conditioning. It's interesting how the "controller" is just not in there like we commonly have thought. And it can be seen very simply by looking at the "most obvious" as you say.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

I cannot be responsible for anything, because there is no "me" at all freely making decisions, choosing between options or controlling what happens. There is simply that which happens. Responsibility would require someone with free will choosing what they do and making decisions.
Example:
Thoughts may appear about how I am responsible for taking care of the houseplant, watering it and keeping it alive. There is an assumption there in that narrative, that there is someone who can choose to water the plant, or that can control what happens to the plant and is "responsible" for the plant. In reality what might happen is that the plant might be drying up. thoughts might appear about how the plant should be watered, the body might then act to water the plant, and this way the plant keeps living. All of that can happen without any idea of responsibility ever even appearing. There is no one that is choosing to take on the narrative of responsibility, it simply happens and then it may or may not result in the body watering the plant. The key thing here is that there is no one to be responsible in reality, even if thoughts about being responsible might appear. So there is not TRUE responsibility, there can only be seeming responsibility.

Another example would be the idea that I am responsible for eating healthy and training the body. Really what happens is that there are thoughts, there are sensations, perhaps emotions, but the person responsible for me going on a run, or drinking 2 liters of coca cola can't be found. No one to blame or praise!

6) Anything to add?

There's one more thing that is bugging me a bit. ---- (was resolved below :)
In regard to choice. I have two apples in front of me. A green one and a red one. Someone says I need to make a choice between them. ok. Then thoughts might appear about how "I will choose the red one". Then the body picks up the red one. Now. Why is it that the thoughts are never "surprised" by what the body does? In the sense that there would have been a thought "I will pick the red one" and then the body just goes ahead and picks the green one. The "choice" or what occurs, seems to always be in accord with the thought. This makes it seem as if the thought is affecting the "choice". This is springing up some doubts.
So, what is actually happening here? If there is no choice, why is the thought and action in "agreement"? I see how thoughts might be commenting after an event has happened afterwards about how the thoughts made that happen, and clearly those are just thought stories. But in this case it seems as if thoughts can either somehow "predict" what will happen, what the body will do, or even that they are actually affecting what is happening. Ohh wait now I see what's going on!
---->
The thoughts are appearing as they do out of nowhere, and the thoughts actually are in a sense "causing" (or rather affecting) the body so it pick the red one BUT the important thing is not that the thoughts are affecting the body, but that the there is NO ONE here thinking up the thoughts in the first place! SO it doesn't matter at all that the body is reacting to thought, because the thought is not thought up by anyone! I see I was subtly still holding onto the belief that there is a "freedom of thought" in the sense that thoughts can be chosen. Now I see, this resolves my question. I could delete the above text, but I will leave this up just to show what went on. I was assuming that either the different aspects of appearance need to be independently arising, happening independently of each other or otherwise it would mean there is an aspect of control. Now I see that what is happening and how it is operating is much more dynamic. Thought/sensation/smell/taste/emotion/sound are all affecting/interacting with each other in complex ways, sometimes "boosting" each other, snowballing on each other; but the only thing that is relevant is that there is no original cause, no original person that "gets the snowball rolling" and somehow begins that chain of things happening or directs it.
This just resolved my own question :)