All there is ..is this...

[Shantipriya]

Ok.Apoorva.

Thank you.

[jgdapoorva]

Hello Shantipriya,

How are you doing? I would recommend you to do this meditation

https://youtu.be/bpvdEA3gf8I

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hi Apoorva..

I'm doing ok..just being in the flow of life, as you said. Everything coming and going..sometimes there is looking and sometimes there is the forgetting and lost in the fog..and then there is looking and realizing..:).

I'll go to this link, thanks.

Love ..Shantipriya.

[jgdapoorva]

Nice,

I would like you to try the following exercise,

Imagine you have an Uninstall button just like for any computer program. If we do not need a program, we uninstall it. Now we are going to uninstall the word “I” from the mind. Imagine that I am pressing an imaginary Uninstall button on you (you can actually press anywhere on your body as if there were a button there) and therefore uninstalling the word “I” from your mind. You, like a baby, do not have access to the word “I.” If before there was the thought “I am cold,” now instead it will be “It is cold.” But what actually changed in your experience when we uninstalled the word “I”? Did you disappear? Are you still there? You are not the “I” thought. Thought can not read. Thought can not hear. What are you?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Greetings Apoorva,

I'd like to spend the day doing this exercise...uninstalling the 'I'. I will return here tomorrow morning. Thanks .

Love Shantipriya.

[Shantipriya]

But what actually changed in your experience when we uninstalled the word “I”? Did you disappear? 

There wasn't a change in the experience and when 'I' was vocalized using words it's was noticed how the word I was the first word attached to the sentence...it happened everytime so instantly ! Taking ownership of actions, experiences, feelings etc.

Did you disappear? 

Who I am didn't disappear and it was seen how the 'I' is only a word coming from thought, only an idea created by the mind .

What are you?

How to say what I am in words...it feels like spaciousness in stillness yet aliveness.

Thanks..Shantipriya

[jgdapoorva]

Hello Shantipriya,

I hope you are doing fine. 😊.
I have been travelling for past few days, so no connectivity.

So, How do you feel now...
I would like you to ponder on the following

What are you without the word “I”? What are you without the name? As I pressed the Uninstall button that deleted the “I” thought, who are you now? Ask: “Who am I?” Remember, you do not have the thought “I” in your mind’s library anymore. You can’t pull it out and use it to answer this question. Ask yourself: “Where is I?” Notice a much wider presence than just being in the body as the “I” thought. Keep breathing and just be. Notice the quality of presence that permeates everything. In just experiencing without naming, there are no borders. This experiencing reminds me of a symphony orchestra listened to with closed eyes: the weaving together of the different instruments’ sounds and tones, the vibrations that penetrate the body... Soon enough you are filled with the music and you don’t know where you begin or end—you become the music. When you were just born, you experienced the world and yourself as one symphony. Notice, without naming and labeling the experience, it is just the same now. You are aware of the symphony of this experience: sensing, feeling, hearing, seeing… just like a newborn baby, no “I” thought. Nothing has changed in being an adult. Only thinking has been added to the experience. Life performs just a more complex symphony: sensing, feeling, hearing, seeing, thinking… There is awareness of this symphony. Turn your mind to the awareness itself. What are you?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hello Apoorva,

Lovely to have you back. I am well, life is flowing...flowing easily without me. :)

What are you without the word “I”? What are you without the name?

Without the 'I' ..there seems to be no world , just the direct experiencing.which feels more intense and vibrant...more alive. When there is attention., awareness looking, this is the experience , but for no one...just what's happening.

Ask:

“Who am I?” 

This enquiry brings awareness to a blankness, as the only answer involves the mind with thoughts of who I am.


 

Ask yourself: “Where is I"?

When I ask this..."I" can not be found...its quite apparent here that there is no" I" but this is only experienced when there is attention noticing the now.. I'm also noticing that there is like a background muffled sound of thoughts , but there's not the getting involved, stuck in them now.

Notice a much wider presence than just being in the body as the “I” thought.

 

Yes, I do notice this...there is this feeling of expansiveness that's not limited to the body...no defining space..like a merging of inner and outer...no edges. I like your description of the orchestra..beautiful.

Life performs just a more complex symphony: sensing, feeling, hearing, seeing, thinking… There is awareness of this symphony. Turn your mind to the awareness itself. What are you?

It's funny how the mind has jumped straight in here to answer this last question..."what are you ? "


There is no answer..the mind comes with words to define it....just hereness ..when I close my eyes...there is just sounds , sensations..a stillness and spaciousness .

Thank you for being here Apoorva..your questions and guidance are beautiful and brings such joy

Love, Shantipriya. .

[jgdapoorva]

Lovely...

It seems you see that there is no self as such, other than an idea...
Is there any more doubt?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hi Apoorva,

Is there any more doubt?

If doubt arises, it is recognized as the mind. There is the forgetting tho , like slipping back and running as if I am the person...its like if there isn't a constant awareness of 'now'.., the old habit of being 'me' seems to be there until it is seen.! Often this is when I am talking and being with other people...interacting.
Conscious, awareness, beingness is here, but in the background, so to speak, but the person, 'me' is solidly in the role, or so it seems. Such a play ..:)

Love Shantipriya.

[jgdapoorva]

Hey,

So. How is it. Is there still any expectation of how "no self" should be? Is there still any expectation or anticipation of some state or experience?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hello Apoorva,

You seem to be fading out of here Is there still any expectation or anticipation of some state or experience? your comings quite sporadic! It's always a pleasure when you return. The questions and guidance is a welcome.

How is it. Is there still any expectation of how "no self" should be?

No expectation here as there isn't the inclination to be drawn in by the mind as that would be where that would arise..expectation. The mind doesn't seem to exist in the 'nowness of now' only 'no self' though that is also a thought too.

 Is there still any expectation or anticipation of some state or experience?

No, there seems to be no interest ...its quite clear here now that that is only the 'me' expecting something great to happen..some wow factor. As this is being typed on this tablet, that is all that there is...sounds happening..sensations happening..and finger tapping on letters , seeing happen, nothing else but this and in this..this is all there is. Mind with its thoughts are only apparent when the attention leaves this and goes there..towards that..and there the dream world of "me" takes its shape and there is the separation... and the ' me' claims ownership of everything..even to say " I'm tired of all this seeking, searching for........enlightenment..blah, blah blah,. Words are flowing and life is just happening and sometimes there are glimpses..moments then there are not..a coming and going...but for no one.

Love Shantipriya.

[jgdapoorva]

Hey,

I apologise for my sporadic coming and goings. It's just that life has been really keeping me occupied in family affairs.
So, do you clearly see that self, as you thought it to be, does not exist, other than in your thought stories? Do you see that there is no doer, controller or manager, except in the narrative?

Regards,
Apoorva

[Shantipriya]

Hi,

So, do you clearly see that self, as you thought it to be, does not exist, other than in your thought stories? 

Yes.

Do you see that there is no doer, controller or manager, except in the narrative?

Yes.

[jgdapoorva]

Nice,

So. I will be offering you our 6 final questions and then I would invite other guides and mentors to take a look at your responses. They might ask you further questions for greater clarity if needed.
I feel happy and delightful for you 😊

Regards,
Apoorva