Freedom

[FreeMan2021]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
Mentally I do understand that 'I' do not exist. Sometimes even see that things just hapening but its just small glimpses. Had read the book gatless gate crashers. Have enlightening quotes app too.

What are you looking for at LU?
I just wan't to see for myself that I don't exist. That life just happening by itself. I want direct expierence not just mentall understanding. Tired of seeking, seminar after seminar, book after book but its leads to more seeking.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
To have pointers where to look and to have discusion about it. When I was reading gatlless gate crashers some answers was helpfull but sometimes wanted to ask a diferent question than was presented in the book. Therefore with guid will be easier to go thruogh the inquiry process.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
Seeking about 7 years, done some vipassana, aikido, yoga and many other maditanion and breathing practices. Been askin 'Who am I' ? And so on. It helped for a while but 'I' understood the more I seek the more Im trying to be someone else.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Lubo]

Hi FreeMan2021

Welcome to the LU forum.
Thanks for waiting.
My name is Lubo and I can join to you in this journey, if you are OK ?

I just wan't to see for myself that I don't exist.

Without this wanting to see, what are you? Where are you?

Cheers
Lubo

[FreeMan2021]

Hi Lubo,

Can you write to my private email?

FreeMan2021

[Lubo]

Hi FreeMan2021,

This is my email
lubo@adhoc.bg
you can write me there also.

Lubo

[Lubo]

The conversation was via emails, here are the final answers:

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no self, me or I, only seems that way. And there never was one.

2)

Give in your own words what the illusion of separate self is and how it shows up in experience. Also, through your inquiry, what is different now?

In my case illusion was identification with thoughts, I'm thinking and also a feeling in the body that this is me. Nothing is different, life goes on but for no one, it's so fresh but very ordinary.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue?
Please report from the past few days.

Still experience of thoughts and the feeling in the body arises. But it is just thoth's, feelings happening. Loads of relaxation happening. When storys arise about life or commentary in the head it's seen like a story and it just collapses.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?

Last bit was a question: "is there a you who is not thinking"? Very clearly noticed how thoughts arise.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

For me was realization, if I don't know what other thoughts will arise then I don't choose anything because there is no I, no chooser only thoughts appear as choice, intention, free will. And after comes a story about how I'm choosing. Things just happen, it's more like reactions or responses.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

Huge relief that there is no me who is responsible. Still happening the identification with body and mind. During the conversations with other people it seems like I disappear. It's just a simple conversation and I don't even know what next I will say. It is so refreshing and relaxing. Seems so new every time.

6) Anything to add?

Just life happening :)

Wonderful . It is a joy to read your replay.
Here it is one question from other guide , just look and write what is seen
Can you give an examples from immediate experience to Q5) a)
Describe decision -

intention -

intention - it's more like a reaction. For example hunger is felt and there is reaction to this. But there might be a story attached to it

.

free will -

free will - there is no free will, it only seems that there is a choice.

choice -

no one is choosing, choice happens.It's a discussion in the head about what to choose, in actuality things happening by themselves and the story follows how I chose correct or not correct.

and control. -

I don't control anything. It was the scariest thing for 'me' to lose control. When saw how things happening by themselves it is a huge relaxation in this.

What makes things happen? How does it work?
Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

Things just happen, no one is doing them, it is only in a story there is 'me' who is living 'my life' and is responsible for everything that is happening.
Thoughts still appear but most of the time it is seen as simply thoughts with no more attachment to them. They appear and disappear and life goes on.