mimi&me

[mimi8me]

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That I will be guided to experience my ‘oneness’ with all life and that the idea of a separate self can dissolve when I see the truth of life

What are you looking for at LU?
Guidance from someone who is able to help me look for the truth within myself leading to the release of false conditioning and beliefs that block my seeing and experincing of this truth.
I'd also like to experience more love and less seperation.

What do you expect from a guided conversation?
I hope (not expect) that I am able to see what is being pointed at. That I open up and release blocks and hinderances to my awakening, that illusion falls away, and that my experience of life becomes more beautful and joyous and can be share it with others.

What is your experience in terms of spiritual practices, seeking and inquiry?
I've read many books on spirituality and non-duality and have meditated on and off over the years. I have had awakening experiences but none lasting more than a week and I enjoy simple, quiet exploration out in nature or in my garden.

On a scale from 1 to 10, how willing are you to question any currently held beliefs about 'self?
11

[Luchana]

Hi :-)

I've replied on your mail.

But while we schedule a meeting can you tell me what are you looking for precisely?


Much love
Luchana

[mimi8me]

Thanks for your question Luchana.
I have a lot of sadness deep inside which I try to be present with, open to and accepting of. It fluctuates but is more or less a constant at the moment. It comes from pain and loss in my life.
I would like to release this and also release my inner dialogue as I find it too noisey and heavey at times.
I have tasted the tender sweetness of awakening (c. 2yrs ago), which lasted a week, and although I don't grasp onto it, I would love to unite with it again. I feel I am close, especially when the weather is sunny and light here in the UK.
At times I can sense myself in nature, or see God in nature, which is beautiful but not constant.
I want to be free and joyous and drop reactivity and feelings of hurt by other people's behaviour. I want to feel more love and connection to nature and from nature.

[mimi8me]

I hope that gives you a sense of where I'm at and what I'm looking for Luchana.
Thank you so much x

[Luchana]

Hi Leone,

thank you for your honest reply.

I have a lot of sadness deep inside which I try to be present with, open to and accepting of. It fluctuates but is more or less a constant at the moment. It comes from pain and loss in my life.

We all want pleasant life without much painful and negative emotions and that’s natural for us as a human beings. But this may or may not happen. No one can say in advance. Somethimes one must faces its biggerst fears just to see that they are nothing else, but unexamined thoughts and assumptions.

Is there an expectation that seeing through illusion will dissolve all sadness?

There is no you even now and still sadness happens. Why this should change?
Just because you've seen trought the illusion?

So called unpleasant sensations and thoughts will not stop appearing Some old traumas, patterns or emotional pain may still show up and will need some further work. It's usually easier to work on these after seeing no-self.
Seeing through the self is just the first step, just the beginning, and lots of further looking is needed after, in order for conditionings to gradually fall away. And this 'falling away' can last at the end of the organism.

Also, many emotions are result of conditioned patters stemming from childhood, from traumas, and all sort of personality issues. But these things won't change just because the self is seen through. The personality stays almost completely intact. Lots of further looking is needed to resolve these patters.


Many people expect that to get into a state of having predominantly positive emotions, and not having any unpleasant ones. But seeing through the self is not about not having half of the emotions, and feeling good all the time or most of the time. Not at all. It's about seeing that these emotions doesn't stick to anything... and yet, these emotions arise and will arise.

I would like to release this and also release my inner dialogue as I find it too noisey and heavey at times.

Look directly and without assumptions -
Does this inner dialogue know to whom it is speaking to?
Is there someone who knows what words will appear next?

I have tasted the tender sweetness of awakening (c. 2yrs ago), which lasted a week, and although I don't grasp onto it, I would love to unite with it again. I feel I am close, especially when the weather is sunny and light here in the UK.
At times I can sense myself in nature, or see God in nature, which is beautiful but not constant.
I want to be free and joyous and drop reactivity and feelings of hurt by other people's behaviour. I want to feel more love and connection to nature and from nature.

Beautiful state it was, no? :-)
Many of us have the impression that seeing througth the illusion of a separate self is some state with special qualities like peace and calmness where one can be at peace. But seeing no self is not a state to abide in. All states come and go and are subject to change.
It is important to look in this very moment, many moments through the day and never rely on memory. Reality, truth or what is is simple, fresh and always here now when looked.


Please read my comments and look at questions few times ans see your expectations from a different angle. It will be better (best actually) to leave all your expectations aside and dive into this inquiry completely fresh.


After reading 2, 3 times share -
Is there a resistance to any of it?

I hope that gives you a sense of where I'm at and what I'm looking for Luchana.
Thank you so much x

You are most welcome:-)

Much love
Luchana

[mimi8me]

Thank you so much Luchana for your detailed response.

After reading 2, 3 times share -
Is there a resistance to any of it?

Right now, just an eagerness to jump in, embrace everything and start to really explore all my assumptions, blind spots, conditioning and hurt. But I'll keep reviewing what you've written and see what comes up resistance-wise...

Is there an expectation that seeing through illusion will dissolve all sadness?

No, I don't expect sadness to disappear and I still want to feel emotions arising, it's just that it feels quite hightened at the moment, and needs resolving in some way. 'Resolving' by simply allowing it space with loving acceptance, and being kind to myself with the understanding that perhaps I can begin to identify with it less (is that correct?) because at the moment I feel it is part of ME. But now that you raise these questions I feel like stepping back and not identifying with it quite so much and simply allow it to arise & be there. Should it be lovingly acknowledged or simply obseved with no engagement?

There is no you even now and still sadness happens. Why this should change?
Just because you've seen trought the illusion?

So called unpleasant sensations and thoughts will not stop appearing Some old traumas, patterns or emotional pain may still show up and will need some further work. It's usually easier to work on these after seeing no-self.
Seeing through the self is just the first step, just the beginning, and lots of further looking is needed after, in order for conditionings to gradually fall away. And this 'falling away' can last at the end of the organism.

Ok, that's interesting and a good point and reading it seems to relax me. Phew, it's good to know that I don't have to sort everything out before I experience no-self! Although when I did experience the 'awakened' state and everything was shining and new and filled with such joy and ease, I try and remember what triggered it. It was a wish to no longer want to grasp onto life or 'things'.

But seeing through the self is not about not having half of the emotions, and feeling good all the time or most of the time. Not at all. It's about seeing that these emotions doesn't stick to anything... and yet, these emotions arise and will arise.

This is also really helpful, thanks, I'll allow their non-sticking!

Look directly and without assumptions -
Does this inner dialogue know to whom it is speaking to?
Is there someone who knows what words will appear next?

I love these Qs and shall investigate this further & often. When I look at the dialogue inside it sort of disappears.
I can calm this inner voice -it's not bothersome when I am present and in the now.

Beautiful state it was, no? :-)
Many of us have the impression that seeing througth the illusion of a separate self is some state with special qualities like peace and calmness where one can be at peace. But seeing no self is not a state to abide in. All states come and go and are subject to change.
It is important to look in this very moment, many moments through the day and never rely on memory. Reality, truth or what is is simple, fresh and always here now when looked.

For a week I felt utter joy and saw beauty, freshness and the perfection of life just simply happening around me. It was so obveous when in it. Can this not be a contsant background experience once the truth is seen? Or does one oscillate in & out? Or does life become more 'normal' again but just with the knowing there is no self?

Thanks again for your help. It's super-appreciated.
Leona (with an a ; ) x

[mimi8me]

...I'm also noticing that my inner dialogue is pure, unchecked habit.

[Luchana]

Hi Leona 😊

You did a good observation. I am glad that the comment sand questions heloed.


...

I'm also noticing that my inner dialogue is pure, unchecked habit.

Look
What makes this dialogue yours?
What is making this suggestion?
Isnt it also oarr of the dialigue?

Much love
Luchana

[mimi8me]

Hi Luchana,

Isnt it also oarr of the dialigue?

I don't understand this question, please could you clarify.
Thanks x

[Luchana]

Oh, I'm sorry..typing from the phone ends like this
And English is not my native langiage and mistake may happen from time to time:-)

I'm also noticing that my inner dialogue is pure, unchecked habit.

Isn't this thought "my inner dialogue is pure, unckecked habit" also part of the dialogue?


Much love,
Luchana

[mimi8me]

Understood, no problem re English as 2nd language ; )

I see that Inner dialogue arises but am unable to locate the origin. I see there is an assumption that they are 'mine' as they are in my head and spoken in my voice.

Isn't this thought "my inner dialogue is pure, unckecked habit" also part of the dialogue?

Well, in a sense yes, but it came from a more conscious thought process that obseved the above unconscious mind chatter and recognised what it saw as a voice on autopilot, like a stream of babble without an awareness of itself.

I meditated this morning and I saw there was no "I" inside that I could clearly locate or pin down (I have experienced this before in the past when meditating but today I stayed in this inner 'space' all day). My thoughts and the inner dialogue have calmed and I feel sort of blank today and a bit empty. So I am finding it a slightly harder to answer your questions, as I'm not attched to thoughts or any internal dialogue right now. But I don't feel awakened or enlightened, just a bit blank with no "I". Is this in line with investigation??

Thanks x

[Luchana]

Hi Leona,

Well, in a sense yes, but it came from a more conscious thought process that obseved the above unconscious mind chatter and recognised what it saw as a voice on autopilot, like a stream of babble without an awareness of itself.

What is awareness when you observe it here now at this very moment?
How awareness is experienced exactly?

I meditated this morning and I saw there was no "I" inside that I could clearly locate or pin down (I have experienced this before in the past when meditating but today I stayed in this inner 'space' all day). My thoughts and the inner dialogue have calmed and I feel sort of blank today and a bit empty. So I am finding it a slightly harder to answer your questions, as I'm not attched to thoughts or any internal dialogue right now. But I don't feel awakened or enlightened, just a bit blank with no "I". Is this in line with investigation??

Nice :-)

How do you imagine that awakened or enlightmenet will looks like?

Is there an expectation that thoughts will stop appearing?

Is there someone or something for whom thoughts appear and now they stopped?


See you later.

Much love
Luchana

[mimi8me]

Hi Luchana,

What is awareness when you observe it here now at this very moment?
How awareness is experienced exactly?

I experience it as the spascious presence of now. Unlimited sensing. Empty and without agenda, 360º directionlessness. But it's my mind that labels this awareness. Awareness just IS, it's a space that I flip into and the "I" is diminished because the inner dialogue/thoughts are no longer the focus of my attention. There is more of a distance between myself and them. I am not in them, the thoughts.
Perhaps it would be easier to describe what it's not!

How do you imagine that awakened or enlightmenet will looks like?

I have a concern that it may be, or become over time, dull or flat and lifeless or mundane? Or perhaps it will be like my experience 2yrs ago; alive and fresh and joyous, where I saw beauty and perfection in everything inluding the dirt on the ground. Perhaps it will include all of the above, no firm ideas?

Is there an expectation that thoughts will stop appearing?

Nope, I'm pretty sure (and have heard) that thoughts continue, there's just more choice to engage or not engage depending on thier necessity.

Is there someone or something for whom thoughts appear and now they stopped?

No, they seem to recede or diminish when no attention is given them. But it seems like a switch -either I am in a space with diminnished background thought that I choose not to engage in (as though time has slowed down somewhat) or, I am IN the thoughts and they are energised, engaging, immediate and close up with 3D technicolour.
With the lack of a sense of a central "I", it as though I am in a different internal space and then they are far less prominant.

Thanks for these questions and see you soon... ; ) x

[mimi8me]

Is the key to all this a realisation or awakening to the fact that there is no mind and as a consequence, no thinker nor thoughts?

OR...

Does our conditioned understanding of how we percieve life to be, simpy drop away through investigation?

[mimi8me]

Luchana, are thoughts created to distract us from the truth of no self?