Looking for Truth

[warissem]

Hi Lisa

A deepening process is going on.

Warissem

[Questioner88]

Hi Warrisem - I remain stunned. Every time I directly think about this, I want to cry.

Will get back to you again, Lisa

[warissem]

Hi Lisa

Take it easy. There was no separate self before you see it, there is no separate self after you see it. Don't think too much about this, just go for a walk and be as you are, open to all what is going on : colors, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations, warm breeze on your face, ... Do you want to cry because you have lost something ? If so, what is lost, express what is coming up in the first instance.

Best wishes

Warissem

[Questioner88]

Hello again!

I did go for a short walk, but family was around and that was taking most of my attention, will try for a walk again on the weekend.

No, it is not a loss that makes me want to cry. It is a glimpse, and only a glimpse, of something much larger than this little I or this little planet or any of the birds and animals I saw at the park. Something far larger than anything I have ever known. I wouldn't say that it is awe that I feel but I don't have a word to describe the feeling of seeing this glimpse. Awe is the closest I can get, even though that is not right either.

Will get back to you. Feeling a lot less stunned right now, and as always, grateful for your help.

Thanks again, Lisa

[warissem]

Hi Lisa

I did go for a short walk, but family was around and that was taking most of my attention, will try for a walk again on the weekend.

Great.

No, it is not a loss that makes me want to cry. It is a glimpse, and only a glimpse, of something much larger than this little I or this little planet or any of the birds and animals I saw at the park. Something far larger than anything I have ever known. I wouldn't say that it is awe that I feel but I don't have a word to describe the feeling of seeing this glimpse. Awe is the closest I can get, even though that is not right either.

Yes, there is no word to describe It, Presence, Knowing, openess, spaciousness, limitless, ... What are the feelings about this seeing ?

Will get back to you. Feeling a lot less stunned right now, and as always, grateful for your help.

There is no one to be stunned, isn't it?

Best wishes,

Warissem

[Questioner88]

Hi Warrisem - I answered but when I saw your email, I checked back and saw that my submission was "form invalid", whatever that means. I refreshed the screen to see if you had replied, and that cost me my answer, which I had in text form but deleted once I posted ion the form. So my apologies; I did get back to you, but it's gone.

Will write again tonight. Just need to take care of kids/dinner/etc first.

Thank you again.

Thanks, Lisa

[Questioner88]

Hello again - my apologies for the appearance of not answering. Once I had posted my answer, i clicked away from the page and never looked at it again until I saw your email. It was only then that I saw the "Form submission invalid" or whatever the message was, and as I said, when I refreshed the page to see your answer, my answer then disappeared. But all is well.

Busy, of course, but quite peaceful, even when I seem to get into the entertainment of momentarily following along with the way society acts and talks and expects people to act as if they are individual selves. It is so easy to temporarily have the self seem a little real again. It's a lot like reading a good book (entertainment) and getting so into it that you believe you are the character and the story is real while reading the pages and then putting the book down and walking away, not even bothered by the so-called reality you lived in while reading.

Example: getting into a bit of a traffic jam on the way to work, feeling some frustration, and then thoughts of "I am going to be late", then realizing again, it's just emotions, there isn't an I and can't be an I, life will look after this. But for a moment the I seemed real again for just a moment. Is this just the brain entertaining itself with a momentary thought of an I?

In these moments when the I seems a bit real again, the I is not nearly as strong as it used to be. I notice that life overall is a lot more peaceful. Even when I get into those moments where the I seems a bit real again, realizing that I can feel emotions without having to feel that there is an I.

Have I actually realized all there is to be realized about no-self? I so badly want to know the truth, that if there is more looking that I need to do to fully realize that there is no self, I will do it.

Your thoughts?

Yes, there is no word to describe It, Presence, Knowing, openess, spaciousness, limitless, ... What are the feelings about this seeing ?

On the walk I was first describing, I can't really name the feelings. Awe is perhaps the closest I can come. Perhaps spaciousness. A oneness. A completeness. Nothing needs to be done or observed or thought or felt, it just is.

My second walk, as you requested: I am not sure I would have described the "glimpse" I mentioned as Presence, although that is as good a word as any. I didn't feel it so much on this last walk. The feeling wasn't so strong as on the first walk but it was very peaceful. I was just "there" without any thoughts for most of the walk. Everything just was - the ducks floating on the water, the leaves moving, the feeling of the wind against me.

Once again, thank you so much for your help!

Regards, Lisa

[warissem]

Hi Lisa

Good job, that is a pleasure to read your post.

There is deepening forum in facebook. You will be invited to access.

Best wishes

Warissem

[Questioner88]

Hi Warrisem - THANK YOU!!! How can a person be thanked adequately? I have tears of gratitude... or perhaps I should say this body has tears of gratitude with emotions of thankfulness and thoughts of gratitude arising!

Seriously, life is good. All that pressure at work is gone. I am calm and relaxed (most of the time). Bad news about a senior friend's health; that is emotional but again, somehow peaceful despite the strong emotions and the flurry of emails and calls. etc. It just is.

HUGE thanks!

Yes, will join the deepening forum when I am invited. Thank you for that as well. More thanks to the organization that has put all this together, so that there are forums to work with.

Thank you AGAIN!

Lisa