Truthseeking

[Efkap]

What do you feel when you read this : there is no you, no separate self in any shape or form, it has never been.

This is a great question Warissem. Truth is, I feel conflicted. Reading a sentence like that really stirs the mind and thoughts and objections arise strongly. Day to day I am still quite heavily invested in “myself”. After a lifetime of conditioning it’s difficult not to be, but these exercises are helping to see past that and so there is a feeling of resistance but also one of acceptance. One question which arises is “If you are not that, what are you?” This is the loudest thought and although there’s the understanding that it’s appearing by itself and there is no “I” as the author, it brings a feeling of frustration.

[Efkap]

Looking further into the experience the feeling of frustration appears to be in the chest, neck and shoulders. These sensations seem to provoke more thoughts which in turn create more sensations.
This is happening by itself!

[Efkap]

The cycle of thoughts-feelings-thoughts create the illusion of I but it happens by itself. Is that correct to say??

[warissem]

Hi Paul

This is a great question Warissem. Truth is, I feel conflicted.

Is there an I feeling conflicted ?

Reading a sentence like that really stirs the mind and thoughts and objections arise strongly.

What is a mind outside of thoughts ?

Day to day I am still quite heavily invested in “myself”.

Where this "I" is pointing to ?

After a lifetime of conditioning it’s difficult not to be,

There is being but it is not you.

but these exercises are helping to see past that and so there is a feeling of resistance but also one of acceptance. One question which arises is “If you are not that, what are you?” This is the loudest thought and although there’s the understanding that it’s appearing by itself and there is no “I” as the author, it brings a feeling of frustration.

A feeling of frustration for whom ?

Look at what is asking the question "what are you", and describe it for me.

Looking further into the experience the feeling of frustration appears to be in the chest, neck and shoulders. These sensations seem to provoke more thoughts which in turn create more sensations.

Do you see really a link between thoughts and sensations ? Look.

This is happening by itself!

Yes.

The cycle of thoughts-feelings-thoughts create the illusion of I but it happens by itself.

What is knowing this staff ?

Is that correct to say?

Look for yourself.

Warissem

[Efkap]

This is a great question Warissem. Truth is, I feel conflicted.

Is there an I feeling conflicted ?

Apologies, clumsy language. No, no I a feeling if confliction arises.

What is a mind outside of thoughts ?

I don’t understand this question. I don’t know what mind is at all. What I meant was that reading your question caused a great many thoughts to arise. It was just an observation as to what was happening.

Do you see really a link between thoughts and sensations ?

Yes I do. For example, if a thought of one of my children arises it can often inspire a feeling of love, or the thought of something bad happening can create a feeling of anxiety.

What is knowing this staff ?

Nothing is knowing it, it’s just an observation. A thought that arose. Again, I thought that was the purpose of the exercise, to
Read the sentence and note the reactions.

Look for yourself.

It felt like the thoughts provoked the feelings which in turn provoked more thought. These thoughts/feelings arose in consciousness, I’m not claiming that an “I” thought or felt them but it’s very difficult to write about the experience without it looking like a personal claim.

[warissem]

Hi Paul

Good. You said there is a link between thoughts and sensations or feelings. There is an exercise for you :

1. Imagine holding sensation in the right hand and thought in the left hand.
Does thought, on the one hand, and sensation, on the other, know about each other?
Is there a link between the two?

2. Imagine sensation and thought are resting on either side of a pair of scales. When sensation is looked at it gets heavier. When thought is looked at it gets heavier.
Is it possible to look at both thought and sensation at the same time to balance the scales?

Warissem

[Efkap]

Hi Warissem, forgive me but I’m having difficulty seeing the benefit of this. It was “my” understanding that the answers were not supposed to be found through thought??

[warissem]

Hi Paul

I am waiting for your answers. The goal is to make you see that there is no link between a thought and sensation.

Warissem

[Efkap]

Then I am stuck. Can you define sensation please?

[warissem]

Hi Paul

It is about a link about sensation and thought : imagination is a thought as images. A sensation is "a physical feeling or perception resulting from something that happens to or comes into contact with the body" (dictionary definition). Now, a thought is known, a sensation is known : do you know the link between them ? If so, describe it for me.

Then I am stuck. Can you define sensation please?

What is this I which is stuck ?

What is this I which wants to know ?

Warissem

[Efkap]

Ok Warissem, thank you. Now there is understanding. The thoughts are known, the physical sensation is also known but a link between the 2 is not therefore it cannot be said to be real only imagined.

What is this I which is stuck ?

What is this I which wants to know ?

No I except the one assumed for the purpose of communicating.

[warissem]

Hi Paul

Are you happy with what you found? What has changed, what hasn’t changed in normal everyday life?

What do you notice different in relationships with close people?

Does Paul exist in any shape or form ?

Is seeking still going on and if so, what are you looking for?

Be free to speak about any doubt about the illusion of a separate self ?

Warissem

[Efkap]

Good morning Warissem.

Are you happy with what you found?

Yes. There is a feeling of understanding and acceptance, perhaps even relief.

What has changed, what hasn’t changed in normal everyday life?

On the surface nothing has changed, life continues as it always has, but on a deeper level there is an awareness. Thoughts arise as sounds or smells do, they do not represent absolute truth and nobody is authoring them. Everything is happening by itself.

What do you notice different in relationships with close people?

Not just in close people but in practically everyone I’ve been speaking to there’s more tolerance and a genuine desire to listen.

Does Paul exist in any shape or form

No. Only in thought

Is seeking still going on and if so, what are you looking for?

Only when identifying as the I which still happens often. It creates turbulence. At those moments “I” is looking for peace.

[warissem]

Hi Paul

Good.

Only when identifying as the I which still happens often. It creates turbulence. At those moments “I” is looking for peace.

The thoughts I, me, ... will continue to arise but you know that there are only thoughts, which point to nothing. Now, how can "I" which is a thought, would look for peace or something else ?

Let thoughts come and go.

Warissem

[Efkap]

how can "I" which is a thought, would look for peace or something else ?

It cannot. During the course of yesterday there was more noticing of the I thought. How it arises so often and claims everything. “I’m looking for peace” is just an example of that. When these thoughts are observed but not followed a feeling of ease arises in their place. It’s very pleasant.