Forever frustrated and still seeking

[SB1]

Let's take a look at the body from another direction. What part of your body has been permanent your entire life?

None of the body is permanent. All the cells that were part of me at the beginning of my life are gone now and have been replaced by other ones. I do understand that this means that if the sense of being was actually part of the body, it would be gone by now.

What I'm stuck on is that all the noticing and thinking and sensing and experiencing happens in the body, so it seems like the sense of being is...I don't know...maybe floating around in there like a soul or an essence or something.

[Bassui]

maybe floating around in there like a soul or an essence or something

Then how come you cannot find it? :)

[SB1]

I'm guessing because it's not really in there.

[Bassui]

I'm guessing because it's not really in there.

If it were, then the sages would have found it long ago.

But don't take their word for it, or mine.

Don't guess, look! You need to see for yourself! Can you find it?

[SB1]

The only way I know how to look is to pay attention, to notice. And all the noticing seems to happen in the body, so it seems like the sense of being--the thing that notices--is in the body. Am I missing something? Can you point me at a kind of noticing that happens elsewhere?

[Bassui]

Can you point me at a kind of noticing that happens elsewhere?

I've been the whole time :) We'll get there!

And all the noticing seems to happen in the body

If this is true, then what notices the body?

[SB1]

what notices the body?

What notices the body is what notices everything else. Whatever it is is noticing it right now, seeing part of it and feeling sensations in/on part of it.

[Bassui]

What notices the body is what notices everything else.

Couldn't have said it better myself :)
If it notices the body it cannot be the body, as something has to be present to notice the body in the first place.

Whatever it is is noticing it right now, seeing part of it and feeling sensations in/on part of it.

Exactly. The body isn't experienced continuously. It's a collection of processes (like you said, cellular) that is being noticed. Thoughts, images, ideas, emotions, feelings are also not experienced continuously. They all come and go. Your body comes and goes and changes. The thing noticing all of this stuff happen does not.

You've seen this yourself! In your own direct experience you've seen that it's always been present. Your "body" has not. Your feelings and emotions have not. All is change. Except the noticing of it.

You're frustration comes from the fact you're looking for something you haven't been separated from for not even a single second.

[SB1]

Your body comes and goes and changes. The thing noticing all of this stuff happen does not.

All is change. Except the noticing of it.

Yes, I can see this. Thanks for your patience during all my extra looking. Because all my instruments of noticing (and instruments for processing what is noticed) are inside me, I just needed to make extra sure the noticer/noticing wasn't in there as well.

[Bassui]

Because all my instruments of noticing

Which must have something to be there first in order to notice them as well. Neti-neti meditation and the simple self-inquiry of "Where am I?" or even "When am i?" can be very very useful here.

I just needed to make extra sure the noticer/noticing wasn't in there as well.

No matter where you look you will not find it because it is literally everywhere you are looking and could not be separated from it. It's akin to the eyeball looking for itself :)

Shall we continue to do a little more inquiry to bring this all home?

[SB1]

Yes, please.

[Bassui]

We've done some investigation into this sense of being, or pure noticing/awareness as we've found out that's all that is going on. Are we now in agreement that we cannot find a boundary and we cannot find a center?

[SB1]

Yes, I agree. No boundary, no center.

[Bassui]

Hey SB1,
Apologies for the delay in response, been quite under the weather the last few days.

Yes, I agree. No boundary, no center.

And as we discovered before, not bounded by time either. So we're talking about a concept that is not bound by time or space.

Usually when we try to describe a concept that is outside of time and space we use the term "infinite" or perhaps even "eternal". My little online dictionary defines "infinite" as: limitless or endless in space, extent, or size; impossible to measure or calculate.

Does this sound about right for you?

[SB1]

Apologies for the delay in response, been quite under the weather the last few days.

No worries, hope you're doing better.

Usually when we try to describe a concept that is outside of time and space we use the term "infinite" or perhaps even "eternal". My little online dictionary defines "infinite" as: limitless or endless in space, extent, or size; impossible to measure or calculate.

Does this sound about right for you?

Yes