Postby Lerae » Mon Sep 02, 2019 3:09 am
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
No. There has never been a separate self.
2) Please explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion begins at a very early age, approximately 2, or even younger, when parents begin to teach the child that they are separate by ensuring they understand the label (name) given belongs to them and teaching them various labels for other objects/people. They also begin praising them or punishing them for things they do. Prior to that, the child just is and is unaffected by what is going on around it. As time goes on the child begins to take credit for doing things, good or bad, and develops accordingly, forgetting the initial experience of oneness and just "being". Eventually, the little being believes that they have control and free will to make decisions regarding how to live "their" life. From this belief, shame, guilt, pain, pride, arrogance, selfishness arise, which eventually wear the being down and result in suffering. Suffering includes anxiety, depression, grief and various disorders. When the being gets tired of suffering, the seeking for safety, for truth, for home begins, which has been there all along.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It feels liberating to see this. When I started this dialogue, I was desperately seeking answers to freedom and peace from emotions. The attachment to thoughts and emotions is minor now and quickly recognized and released. It is easy to return home to the serenity of just "being". Things appear to be happening in a more natural way, where before I believed I controlled it all. I feel more grateful for my experiencing now that it is understood that I am not doing it. It also feels like more of an adventure, like....what will unfold next?
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
I was well on my way by this point, however, I was stuck on thoughts and decisions and where they come from. Once I was able to see that in actual experience, they do not exist, I was free!! :)
5) Please describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decision, intention, free will, choice and control are all part of the illusion. They are thoughts we have come to believe in order to navigate the story of "me". I am not responsible for anything as there is no "I" to be responsible and nothing is happening in actual experience. In actual experience there is only the flow of life taking place. In the illusion, I created a story to make myself feel important or special, unique and separate from others. As I let go of this experience, I see that life is just happening and does not need my input at all.
6) Anything to add?
It has been mystifying to see how perception can be so twisted and how so much is wasted on things that are not even real. I am so grateful for "seeing" this and look forward to whatever comes...……...
