Feeling life intentfully

[clarinet]

Hi Phil

Thank you for all the hard work and honest work! I like working with you.

Thanks for writing this!

Would you agree that this is the same for all the senses?

Yes

No hearer, no smeller, no taster, no seer?

Yes

Can you find a 'me' at all behind these perceptions?

No

Who is having them?

Who - what - consciousness experiencing life / this / now

Or are these perceptions just happening?

Yes

What is the further implication of this? Just ponder it, effortlessly, without getting a headache, just let this idea fill you and reflect on it.

There is no me

Does anything else come up?

Why when I see this for a moment is it not the earth shattering aha that might accompany this realising? How can I see and not see?

Yet all your thoughts are about this 'me' and all perceptions are claimed by this me, would you agree? Claimed by a 'me' that is nowhere to be found?

'Claimed' is a good description of what 'me' does - always voraciously searching to exist and matter, and do key & important things, be integral.

Can you tell me why the second is more pure, more true to you? Describe what happens when you do it. Look deeper and find out why it feels like that and report back please!

It feels more pure and true because I have taken the 'me' out of it. There is no concept of 'me' muddying the direct experience.

Love,
Clare

[Phil]

Hello Clare,

Who - what - consciousness experiencing life / this / now

There is no me

Very impressive Clare!

Why when I see this for a moment is it not the earth shattering aha that might accompany this realising? How can I see and not see?

The mind wants this enlightenment business to be something special, but it is the most ordinary thing there is. Don't expect an angel choir, no harps, no bright white light. It's not something new, it's been staring us in the face our whole life. The not-seeing it, might this be the mind not accepting that it can be this simple? In combination with the fact that the mind can not make it into an object that that it can look at and understand?

When you say there is no me, can you confirm that this is something you now see beyond the shadow of a doubt?

What is seen cannot be unseen, just as once you see that Santa isn’t real, you can never un-see that! You don’t have to look at the empty fireplace where Santa should be, until something magic happens and the belief magically dissolves. Someone just suggests it to you, or says it to you—there is no Father Christmas.

Then you look around. And you think. You think for yourself. And very quickly it becomes obvious that - oh my God - everything fits. All the contradictions about Santa, questions about Santa. Issues about Santa. They are what fall away.
This is exactly the same as seeing that there is no self. Because it’s just one more fiction. In and of itself, the fiction of ‘you’ is just one more fiction. Yes, it’s fundamental to a lot of destructive patterns, behaviour, and human dysfunction. One might argue that it’s fundamental to all human dysfunction. But in and of itself? It’s just one more fiction. And you just see through it like you’d see through any fiction.

It’s not about fighting resistance, it’s about clearing up crap inside that clashes and creates that resistance. We are not looking here for new beliefs, but for a simple truth. And as the man said, the truth will set you free.

What I want you to do is answer me with 100% honesty, and then only when the answer feels right. No rush, but when I ask you to look, re- ally look.

So now look at the real possibility that there is no “you” in real life. That all is happening by itself, without a manager. Look inside and tell me what feeling comes up; do you recognise fear, resistance, frustration, what is it?

Describe what you see.

Much love,

Phil

[Phil]

'Claimed' is a good description of what 'me' does - always voraciously searching to exist and matter, and do key & important things, be integral.

The me wants to exist and wants to be special. Once we stop believing in it, we stop giving it power. And it can no longer claim any of our experiences, inner our outer.

It feels more pure and true because I have taken the 'me' out of it. There is no concept of 'me' muddying the direct experience.

I couldn't have said that any better myself.

Again, and I mean it, nice work Clare!

Phil

[clarinet]

Hi Phil

The not-seeing it, might this be the mind not accepting that it can be this simple?

Probably, 'there is no me' is an incredibly gentle and simple statement, and so incredibly transforming to my foundational perspective of life.

In combination with the fact that the mind can not make it into an object that it can look at and understand?

For me it is the fact that it comes gently without a complex set of dominoes falling and falling - blowing my mind (lol) and henceforth life being forever changed.

When you say there is no me, can you confirm that this is something you now see beyond the shadow of a doubt?

Yes

So now look at the real possibility that there is no “you” in real life. That all is happening by itself, without a manager. Look inside and tell me what feeling comes up; do you recognise fear, resistance, frustration, what is it? Describe what you see.

Recognition more than anything, that life is 'lifing' and where I previously inserted 'mind' into it all with thoughts and made sense of it with endlessly ridiculous mental gymnastics but truly things that are to happen, happen when they are to happen and it is all just 'pre-sent'. Direct experience is always happening even if I overlay it with a gazillion different theories.

Love,
Clare

[Phil]

Hello Clare,

'there is no me' is an incredibly gentle and simple statement, and so incredibly transforming to my foundational perspective of life.

Can you elaborate on that? Tell me what happens in as much details as possible.

For me it is the fact that it comes gently without a complex set of dominoes falling and falling - blowing my mind (lol) and henceforth life being forever changed.

What you are saying is that you were expecting bells and harps and singing angels. And that your expectations is preventing you from seeing, right? So what if it is so simple? Can you entertain this idea and report back?

You say full-on

Yes

to the question are you sure there is no me. Can you also tell me more: did you see this in the last exercise? Can you tell me how and when this shift in perception happened?

Recognition more than anything, that life is 'lifing' and where I previously inserted 'mind' into it all with thoughts and made sense of it with endlessly ridiculous mental gymnastics

I like where this is heading Clare! I like it that you say re-cognition, to me it almost sounds like remember.

but truly things that are to happen, happen when they are to happen and it is all just 'pre-sent'.

Just checking: do you mean by that that there is some kind of pre-destination (things that are happen will happen), some sort of plan? And if not what do you mean? I think it's worth digging deeper here.

Love,

Phil

[Phil]

Clare,

I was a bit fast pushing the send button.

Direct experience is always happening even if I overlay it with a gazillion different theories.

Yes your direct experience before labelling, shows you reality at it is: it is no-thing appearing as everything.

Love,

Phil

[clarinet]

Hi Phil,

Can you elaborate on that?

I know that when I focus on direct experience - there is no me. I hear the dishwasher humming and clunking - it's true to say dishwasher humming and clunking. In direct experience it's happening whether I focus on it or not, whether I layer it up with thoughts and judgements. I see there is no me and yet the realisation of it drifts away from me and I am back on normal life saying "I' and 'me' and 'you' and 'we' all the time - forgetting and re-remembering over and over, through a haze. I see it bring it into focus and it goes again, I don't know it completely without a shadow of a doubt yet... because of all those forgetting, get on with life, job moments.

What you are saying is that you were expecting bells and harps and singing angels. And that your expectations is preventing you from seeing, right? So what if it is so simple? Can you entertain this idea and report back?

It is this simple, I'm entertaining the possibility of it. It is the single biggest fallacy that planet earth has then - something you can't really tell people about cause it is simply too stupid to speak of. That's ok though, I don't need to have people around me know it. I can just quietly know it myself. There is just a nothingness to sitting with 'no me'.

Can you also tell me more: did you see this in the last exercise?

When you asked me to do ten minutes recording with 'I' and ten minutes recording without 'I' and then when you asked me to look at the difference. It was purer without the 'I' and I couldn't locate a me in it.

Can you tell me how and when this shift in perception happened?

Just by looking at the pureness and seeing no me.

Just checking: do you mean by that that there is some kind of pre-destination (things that are happen will happen), some sort of plan?

There could be some pre-destination - some 'pre-sent' / 'present' plan but I don't know it, I don't even think it matters if there is or isn't - truth is truth - and belief is meaningless except in a person's mind. Life is happening as life, I always thought I was in charge of my life, choosing my path - now I see it unfolding as life through 'me' without being a me.

Love,
Clare

[Phil]

Hello Clare,


sorry for the late reply.

I know that when I focus on direct experience - there is no me.

Very good, how does that feel? Does it feel good not to be there? Or does it engender a feeling of loss of control and fear?

I see there is no me and yet the realisation of it drifts away from me and I am back on normal life saying "I' and 'me' and 'you' and 'we' all the time - forgetting and re-remembering over and over, through a haze.

I hear you and am familiar with that flip-flopping. Like I said before, keep focussing and getting back to no-me whenever possible, like training a muscle.

I see it bring it into focus and it goes again

This: keep on doing this exercise.

It is this simple, I'm entertaining the possibility of it. It is the single biggest fallacy that planet earth has then - something you can't really tell people about cause it is simply too stupid to speak of.

That why it is refered to as the cosmic joke. (Badoumtsssssss)

We have been workig a lot with "outer" world: perception. I would like you to do an exercise focussing on your 'inner' experience.

Here's what I would like you to do: sit quietly for about 20 minutes and notice the arising thoughts. Just let them appear as they appear. Try your best to COMPLETELY ignore what they are saying and just notice how they appear without you doing anything at all.

Where are they coming from and going to?
Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?
Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?
Can you predict your next thought?
Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?
Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?
Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?
Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

Love,

Phil

[clarinet]

Hi Phil,

Very good, how does that feel? Does it feel good not to be there? Or does it engender a feeling of loss of control and fear?

Direct experience is nice, kind of blissy, kind of nothing, dissolving ... being.

Where are they coming from and going to?

From nothingness to nothingness - I would believe there is some kind of randomness to it - a mix of recent activities (especially tv, reading...), near past activities / conversations, and far past interactions, in the past I've noticed that it's possible to have only dark and painful thoughts coming through. Once when I had a flu was like this just a whole bunch of bleak and horrible thoughts that I ignored as swiftly as possible.

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

Nope

Could you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

No

Can you predict your next thought?

No

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

No

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

No

Can you pick and choose any kind of thought?

No

Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing?

No

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

There is no order or logical - like I said some random generation of thoughts.

Love,
Clare

[Phil]

Hello Clare,


Your response to the question how it feels to not be there you say:

Direct experience is nice, kind of blissy, kind of nothing, dissolving ... being.

And this is from your very first post:

LU is focused guiding for seeing there is no real, inherent 'self' - what do you understand by this?
That I sense a separate self that isn't real and that I can move beyond this sense of separation.

From an earlier post:

It is this simple, I'm entertaining the possibility of it. It is the single biggest fallacy that planet earth has then - something you can't really tell people about cause it is simply too stupid to speak of.

Awareness is that simple and closer than your next heart beat. That is why it is overlooked. It's not hidden, it's overlooked.

also from an earlier post:

There is just a nothingness to sitting with 'no me'.

You are not the 'me' in the story. But you do exist. You are that which is looking out of your eyes. Can you feel that what is looking out of your eyes is the same now as it was when you were 10 years old? Absoluut, formless, infinite, timeless Awareness, no-thing or the void as they say in Buddhism. This is what we are pointing at. It is overlooked and because of that we indetify with the body and the 'I' thought.

This is why it is said that you are looking for what you already are, again: the cosmic joke.

Between then and now, can you tell me what has changed and what hasn't?

Love Phil

[Phil]

Clare,


to the question "where do thoughts come from" you reply:

From nothingness to nothingness .

Yes!

- I would believe there is some kind of randomness to it - a mix of recent activities (especially tv, reading...), near past activities / conversations, and far past interactions, /quote]

We don't do belief remember ;). It appears to be like that.

in the past I've noticed that it's possible to have only dark and painful thoughts coming through. Once when I had a flu was like this just a whole bunch of bleak and horrible thoughts that I ignored as swiftly as possible[

Again: it appears to be like that. Who is there to ignore thoughts? Can you find her?

There is no order or logical - like I said some random generation of thoughts.

Thoughts just happen!

Love Phil