Hello Nic!
I hope things are continuing to unfold beautifully and that the smiling is still arising! Do you feel that there is anything else to investigate after a few days?
No, there is nothing left to investigate - the smiling continues :)
1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
There is no separate self, and there never was.
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The illusion of the separate self is a collection of thoughts and sensations that was thought of as "me". This "me" would take responsibility (in the form of a thought) for the actions and sensations that happen. It started as a child and was reinforced as different experiences were attributed to "me". It is now recognized as a thought that arises in the now. Independent thoughts can seem to have a continuity, creating the appearance of a story, but through direct experience these are seen through as simply thoughts arising in the now. The notion of "I" is useful in everyday life, but the understanding is there that there is no separation between "I" and life as it unfolds in the eternal present moment.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
There is a deepening of the peace that was already present. No separate self means no personal doer-ship. There is no "mini-me" sitting in my head that is controlling things. Life just unfolds as it does, and the experiences happen as they happen. Authentic actions arise as the thinking has slowed down.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over; made you look?
There was nothing in particular - no big "aha" moment. This process was started with a mostly quiet mind, with a knowing of living in the now. Through the explorations of direct experience, the notion of a separate self was seen through. Discoveries during this process include no boundaries in any direct experience and the total absence of any personal doer-ship, despite thoughts that arise claiming to be responsible for the doing.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decision, intention, free will, choice, and control are all a part of the illusion of the separate self. These are all thoughts that arise, the content of which claims control or doer-ship of the happenings of life. However, similar to breathing or digesting food, thoughts just arise, and actions just happen, without any control (even if the content of a thought claims "control"). Experiencing happening in the now is all there is, and there is no separation between the experiencing and life. An example is playing with my children at the park. Actions happen, thoughts can arise about joy or happiness. Sensations arise that could be labeled as love. Everything just happens.
6) Anything to add?
There is nothing that could be added to this moment to make it any better :)
With love,
Andy
