i have heard it said that feelings are the physical form of thoughts. What does your investigating say about this?
Beliefs are thoughts that other thoughts say is true. (it's a little more complex that this, involving thoughts that have had a particular response physically since birth (the birth of thinking)) Once accepted (as true) they are stored unconsciously, at which time physical responses to them (beliefs) don't require the gate keeper of the mind any more. So they seem to be just automatic responses. (usually emotions)
the millionaire seeking for more millions..
Yeah, that wasn't a skillful way of putting it. I was alluding to the 'addiction' to seeking. You find it, but it's not what you wanted, so you keep seeking. (ha, this was me (too?))
life is embarrassingly good and yet sadness persists.
there's no conflict there. It's not even a paradox. The sadness is cocooned, it was/is the way it was coped with. It may be the last thing to dissipate. (if it's the deepest - and most probably to do with early family...)
it seems like the light switch is either off or on
The light can be on, but eyes closed or shaded. This expectation may or may not be your experiencing. (it wasn't mine, or the dimmer was lowered over a couple of days) It seems that you get flashes of brightness then ...
but the thrust of this inquiry it to disentangle from an illusion that creates mountains of suffering for me
Well, not quite. The thrust of this inquiry is to 'position' you to recognise the illusion. Then the disentangling will occur spontaneously.
If i can disentangle it for myself, then supporting others to do the same would be a natural outgrowth.
Hmm, tricky area.
How do you experience 'knowing' ?
Knowing is obvious.
What i was asking is "How do you
experience 'knowing' ?
How(in what way) do you know that you know ?
Curious though if you would say there's something missing here re., false self:
Hm, i can see what Derek was saying. Too much logic (thinking) (although the logic is good)
We can look for a self, and not find it. conclusion it doesn't exist. (accurately, it wasn't found)
We can look for a no-self... (that's a bit weird)
We can look for a false self, and find it, and Realise that it is nothing but a concept.
We can then see that what we took as reality is mostly built on that concept.
We then start to recognise reality as that which IS, before thought gets involved.
of watching this character react (rather than "me"), which seems to be what happens when surrendering happens, and there's a sense of "OK, this is what's here and there's the mind trying to control "what's next" but hmmm... let's just see "what's next" instead of try to figure it out."
This is IT! BEAUTIFUL.
it also feels like there's a hint of conjuring going on. And to consciously conjure it up feels like its not genuine.
Sure, thoughts will tell you many things to maintain the status quo.
still feels like there's a protagonist in disguise here...
and, of course there is, but it gives you a new perspective to consider. The automatic personal pronoun is really deeply ingrained.
is this along the lines of what you were looking for?
yep
UGGG! Stupid, dumb, childish, idiot, blind, fraudulent, pathetic poser will NEVER see "it" know matter how much surrendering or pseudo surrendering she does... oh and that's partly because she NEVER gets what she wants and partly because she's not smart enough in a genuine or deep or meaningful way-- just in a tricky, hardworking, unimportant way which other people THINK is genuine and deep and meaningful but it TOTALLY not.
Ouch! Phew, i can see where the suffering (sadness) lives.
You'll really laugh when you see just how all of this was never necessary. It is all of the result of incorporating external (with a personal twist) into the story of ix.
One day it will seem that it was a movie or it happened to somebody else.
