The unSelf

[CJR1233]

Hi Kay,

Did you find an actual link between the thought "I am anxious" and the sensation itself when doing the exercise given? With your eyes closed and being aware of both thought and sensation...did you see anything that actually linked them?

I didn't see any link. Only thought/story was saying there was anxiety.

Cj

[forgetmenot]

Hello Cj,

Did you find an actual link between the thought "I am anxious" and the sensation itself when doing the exercise given? With your eyes closed and being aware of both thought and sensation...did you see anything that actually linked them?

I didn't see any link. Only thought/story was saying there was anxiety.

The link is a mental construct...ie it is a thought that suggests the thought and the sensation are linked...without thought how would this be known?

Can you answer the following questions with some detail please, and answer what's true for you rather than any sort of 'ideal' answer. Also please provide examples where asked.

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form?
Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

6) Anything to add?

Kay

[CJR1233]

Hi Kay,

1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

There is no separate 'self', 'me' 'I' and there never was.

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience.
Describe it fully as you see it now.

The illusion of separate self is that there is a ‘me’ a Cj and then there is everything else including others. This illusion begins after birth with the “others” around “us” using language to describe the world. Language is needed to move through the world but it is not real. It is all labels.
If a baby were born on an island to a mother that has no voice, eventually the baby would grow and still learn to label things in some way or another. That is how it works.
The only thing that is actually real is the Now, this moment. In the Now, there is actual experience. The only thing that is actually known is the AE. Life is happening/unfolding this minute. Thought covers up the truth that there is no self and no separation. Thought is telling stories about the character CJ making it seem like there is a separation. Cj = actual experience

3) How does it feel to see this?
What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

It feels pretty cool! It’s like uncovering a hidden treasure.
There is no difference. Everything is the same. There was never a me to begin with.
In the last few days I’ve noticed anger bubble up a few times.
I ask “who is angry?”
Answer: No one, there is no 'who'
“who am I angry at?
Answer: no one, there are no 'others'
“what is this feeling anger?”
Answer: just a sensation thought is labeling as anger.
Then anger kinda disappears

Labels and thought stories are not sticking around for too long.

I’ve also noticed AE is rich and layered and textured. Sounds, smells and sights have clarity like never before.

It’s easy now to drop the label I have been attaching to certain sensations for so many years. I used to get a feeling in my chest I called anxiety but I see that it is an AE of sensation that thought is labeling as sensation. It’s funny because how do I even know what that is? Maybe its really excitement? Either way, it’s a sensation and does not need or have a label.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

The time exercise. It’s so obvious to me that there is no such thing as time. Then I got mixed up with memory and then I realized “hey memory is the same as time” It’s just a label. It does not exist in actual experience.
It occurred to me that to know a sound in AE is to be the sound. The sound can’t be known in AE unless it ‘s happening. There is no sound-maker in AE. There is only sound.

5) a) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how things happen and how things work.

Life is unfolding in AE. I have no control over thoughts or anything. Decision, intention, free will, choice, control they are all labels. They are all stories or fictions.

I used to agonize about going to the gym. I didn’t feel like it…felt lazy….I didn’t want to go too tired…blah blah….then it was all about how fat and gross and lazy I was for not going….
Now it’s like if I find myself at the gym then....that is where I will be. I do not need a story to get me there and I don’t need to listen to a story about why I am bad if I don't go.

The I am worthless garbage has been running through my head for over 45 years. There is no “I” so I can’t be worthless. Worthless is a story/label. It’s not true. I am really and truly not worthless!!! For real!!! How can a not-I be anything?

Setting an intention is something I hear a lot in mediation classes. It seems like a good idea but the truth is, there is no “I”. Intention setting is actually labels for thought-stories. Not real.

b) What are you responsible for? Give examples from your own recent experiences to how this works.

There is no “You” or “I” to be responsible about anything. Everything is unfolding as it is supposed to. It doesn’t matter what thought-stories say about what is happening because they are simply not true. The only thing that is real is the AE of NOW in every moment.
Today at work I was counseling a patient and thoughts of “this isn’t going well” arose. Next thoughts were about how thoughts aren’t real. There is on AE. I can drop into AE at anytime and know that thought,sound,sight,smell,taste,sensation are all there is. What a huge relief. It doesn’t change the counseling session. It will happen, as it should. It’s just that the thought commentary passes on by…

6) Anything to add?

I would sincerely like to thank you Kay for your skilled guiding. At times it was confusing and I actually thought you were mad at me. How absurd is that? How can you be mad at me? There is no Cj and no Kay. There is only AE and “getting mad at me” is only thought-story and that is not real!!!!
I feel a HUGE relief. I giant full blown actual experience of sensation labeled as a sigh…………….
Thank you LU and Kay for all that you do.
Much love and gratitude all the way from Canada.
Love,
cj

[forgetmenot]

Hello Cj,

Thank you for your lovely responses to those questions. I was never mad at you! As you can see thought just appears with assumptions about an 'other' and tells stories about how this 'other' is being, saying, thinking, doing and feeling...how can this be known? I am firm at times because I need to keep you focussed on looking and not going into thoughts stories which are all about the past. Your looking was wonderful...you looked carefully and diligently and I appreciate that very much...it makes guiding flow.

I am going to ask some other guides to have a look at your thread to make sure I have covered everything and that my pointing was clear to enable you to be clear. This may take a day or two and they may have further questions for you or not.

I will let you know when I know.

Sending love
Kay

[forgetmenot]

Hello Cj,

Congratulations, and welcome through the Gateless Gate! There are no further questions for you. It has been a pleasure to explore the concept of the separate self with you and point the way. Thank you for being so open and willing to LOOK!

Keep an eye out for an email notification notifying you of a PM (private message) from the forum inviting you to join our aftercare groups on Facebook. If you don't receive an email notification, you can access your PM's from the forum once you have logged in.The PM also details other resources available to you. Your username will change from green to blue which indicates that you have had the realisation of there being no separate self.

You can contact me at any time if you have any questions etc, via the forums PM system, or via Facebook if you decide to join our groups there.

Love, Kay