Continuing with Mitzuko

[Matthew]

Well... Are you truly ready to lose yourself?
Which means, to leave behind, to step over your current identity?
To see that it was all just a little role play all along?

Imagine your in a theatre playing a role.
Anything you like.
What exactly makes the current role any more credible than a random imaginary role from a movie?

[mitzuko]

Are you truly ready to lose yourself?

is it really possible to be ready for this?
I am still afraid, so there will still be resistance, but I want the truth.

What exactly makes the current role any more credible than a random imaginary role from a movie?

The character in the film is fake (non-sentient)
I am real. (Sentient)
And it seems that I have the possibility to "manage" me.
It is not so much in the "role" that I find myself (if for “role” you mean the "character" Silvia, who has a story and characteristics) or rather, the character Silvia is there, but is "blurred" not well defined, I do not give It so much weight.
It is the feeling of being here, of existing and that this body / emotions belong to me, that I express myself through thought and that I am the author of thought and the actions that follow.
here is where I find myself.
Body, emotions, thought, actions now (and actions of the past, but this is part of the thought / judgment on now).

The character in the story is in the background. (it seems to me, if I do not deceive myself)

[Matthew]

Wo do you auther thoughts?
Have a look!

There is a thought. Isn't the notion of "I have authored this thought" also just a thought?

Can you prevent having negative thoughts?

Can you always predict and decide, which thought will come next?

[mitzuko]

a couple of nights ago I had a flash.
"how can I be the author of the thought if it arrives already" packaged "" ???
but it did not last long, and now only the concept remains.
the fact is that if I exclude "my presence" from thought, I no longer know where to "lean" and this awareness probably makes my attachment to it very tenacious.

[mitzuko]

There is another thing.
When you ask me about things, I look for the answer IN THE THOUGHT.
Not in direct experience. Now I see it.
In direct experience there is experience of thought and nothing else.
But there is also the feeling that there is someone / something that does it.
I do not know how to look better at this because it seems an "awareness" that serves as a background ..
  but .. personal.

[mitzuko]

Yet:
The subject / object concept seems to be implicit in perception itself, so deep is this idea embedded within me.
It looks like a granitic truth as the fact that I now see these words on the smartphone screen.
Yet, lately I had a couple of "glimpse" where I perceived that the "subject" could really be just a concept invented by man, that in reality the subject / object division is not necessary and it is not necessary that it exists.
However, from my current perspective, it seems to be the basis on which perception is based.

[mitzuko]

Isn't the notion of "I have authored this thought" also just a thought?

Verbal or visual thinking is easy to see as such.
Concepts or ideas being non-verbal and non-visual do not "show themselves in the light of the sun" but give meaning to things, as if this reading were an intrinsic characteristic of the thing itself and not merely an interpretation.
I have great difficulty in focusing / separating what belongs to this category from what is real.
Like the fact that "I am a thinker of thoughts"
It is a concept so deeply rooted that it seems to be the reality of the state of things.
It's something I "feel"

[Matthew]

"I am a thinker of thoughts"

And again!

Let's say this is true and you are in charge over thought.
Do not think of a pink elefant.
Have you been in control whether or not this thought appeared? What truly causes the thought to appear?

When you ask me about things, I look for the answer IN THE THOUGHT.
Not in direct experience. Now I see it.

Very nice! Keep looking at this right place.
We are never interested in thought content.
We are only ever interested in observations, that have their root in present experience.

But there is also the feeling that there is someone / something that does it.

And does this "someone/something" truly exist?
What can be found when looking for this. Everywhere!
An actual someone/something?
Or just thought telling a story about someone/something.
A dream about such a thing.

[mitzuko]

hello Matthew, I'm sorry if I answer so late but for personal reasons I can not continue this investigation.
Forgive me!
Thank you for everything you have done for me and for the precious time you have dedicated to me!
I wish you all the best!

[Matthew]

You can return anytime.
No worries