I want to Wake Up

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

Did you do anything to make a particular thought or thoughts appear?

No, thoughts just come and go on their own, I had no choice in it.

ould you have done anything to make a different thought appear at that exact moment instead?

No, that would be handy if I could but I have no say in it.

Where are they coming from and going to?

I could guess and say the ego but from just looking, I have no idea.

Can you predict your next thought?

No, no idea what it will be, they are seemingly random.

Can you push away any thought?

I want to say yes to this question as with meditation I have a better grasp on the thoughts I allow to remain.

Can you stop thinking a thought in the middle?

Well, similar to the above but I will point out that thoughts don't have a "middle", they seem to happen at once.

Can you select from a range of thoughts to have only pleasant thoughts?

No. A menu of thoughts seems nice though.

Can you choose not to have painful, negative or fearful thoughts?

No.

Is it possible to control any thoughts? Is it possible to prevent a thought from appearing? Including the thought 'I'?

100% impossible. Thoughts just happen including the thought "I".

It seems that thought has some logical ordered appearance, but look carefully and just notice if there is an organised
sequence? Or is that just another thought that says ‘these thoughts are in sequence’ or “they take content from previous
thought”, or that ‘one thought follows another thought’?

I spent some extra time on this one as I wanted to be sure but there is definitely no order. Thoughts come and go and yes, I believe that thoughts can sometimes influence which thoughts come next, if that makes sense?

[Beatrice]

Hi Mikael -

Great job LOOKING at thought.

So can a thinker, owner or controller be found at all, anywhere?

Okay...so let's have a look at emotions. There are no emotions, what is actually appearing is label + sensation + thoughts about the seeming 'emotion'.

Let’s look at ‘fear’.

The label ‘fear’is the AE of thought and not the AE of fear
The sensation labelled ‘fear’is the AE of sensation and not the AE of fear
The color labelled ‘me/I/body’ is the AE of color and not the AE of fear
The thoughts ABOUT fear are AE of thought and not AE of fear

So, is there actual experience of ‘fear’ or what is actually appearing (AE) is label + sensation + color + thoughts ABOUT fear? Is 'fear' actually known?

When ‘fear’ appears, close your eyes and do the following:

1) Look at the label/thought ‘fear’ itself. See the label/word ‘fear’ as a typewritten word in the ‘mind’s eye’ across the forehead

Does the label ‘fear’ know anything about fear, or is the word just a bunch of letters?
Is the label ‘fear’ itself fearful?
Can you find anyone/anything in the word itself that is fearful?

2) Then look at the sensation and ignore everything else but the sensation itself.
Inquire into the sensation and ask if the sensation itself knows anything about ‘fear’.

Look and see if the sensation itself is the fearful self. If the words ‘yes’ , or ‘yes, this is the self’ appears, go back to Step 1 and see the words across the forehead and repeat step 1.

Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is fear or that it is fearful?
Does the sensation itself know anything about fear?
Can you find anyone/anything in the sensation itself or behind the sensation that is fearful?

If other random mental images appear during the noticing of the sensation, check to see if those images are the self who is fearful, or are they images that are simply arising and subsiding? If other ‘loud’ thoughts appear, check to see if they are the self that is fearful as you did in step 1.

3) Look at the mental image/outline labelled body.

Does the image/outline itself know anything about ‘fear’.
And then look to see if there is anyone/anything in the color that knows anything about ‘fear’ or that can be ‘fearful’.

If other random mental images appear during the noticing of the sensation, check to see if those images are the self who is fearful, or are they images that are simply arising and subsiding? If other ‘loud’ thoughts appear, check to see if they are the self that is fearful, as you did in step 1.

4) With eyes still closed look everywhere and see if you can find anyone or anything that is fearful.

When you have done this and if no one/no thing is found, then just sit with the sensation. Just breathe normally, notice the thoughts and images that appear and let them pass on by unless they seem to hang around, then do the appropriate steps above. Allow the sensation all the room it needs in the body without pushing it aside or judging it. If it becomes too intense just take a couple of deep breaths into the sensation itself, and then notice the floor under your feet, notice your backside on the chair and then notice what is in the room you are sitting in and name them out loud, while being aware of the sensation and remember to breathe normally. If the sensation does not dissipate at all or only dissipates a little, that is okay, just notice it, without doing anything with it and just go about your day.

We are not trying to get rid of the sensation labelled ‘fear’ or the arising thoughts or images. We are only LOOKING to see what is actually appearing as opposed to what thought is saying ABOUT what actually IS.

Let me know how you go.

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[Beatrice]

Mikael -

Please let us know if you would like to continue with this process by responding to the queries in blue above.

Thank you!
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

I've had a busy few days but I will do the experiments later today.

Thanks

Mikael

[Beatrice]

Mikael,

Thank you for your response. You are progressing through the process splendidly. This exercise can by very tricky. It is normal for it to take a bit more time.

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

So can a thinker, owner or controller be found at all, anywhere?

No, no-one, nowhere, there is nothing.

So, is there actual experience of ‘fear’ or what is actually appearing (AE) is label + sensation + color + thoughts ABOUT fear? Is 'fear' actually known?

No. "Fear" does not exist. There are sensations and thoughts but even those aren't real.

Does the label ‘fear’ know anything about fear, or is the word just a bunch of letters?

No, just letters which in themselves are just a concept/thought.

Is the label ‘fear’ itself fearful?

Not at all.

Can you find anyone/anything in the word itself that is fearful?

No. There is no-one, there is a thought only.

Does the sensation itself suggest in any way that it is fear or that it is fearful?

No, it is merely a sensation and a sensation itself holds no pparticular value.

Does the sensation itself know anything about fear?

It does not.

Can you find anyone/anything in the sensation itself or behind the sensation that is fearful?

I can't. There is just the sensation.

Does the image/outline itself know anything about ‘fear’.

No, nothing, It's just a concept, it knows nothing.

And then look to see if there is anyone/anything in the color that knows anything about ‘fear’ or that can be ‘fearful’.

There is not. There is no-one that can know fear!!

Thank you Jeremy. This was a deep one but well worth doing.

Mikael

[Beatrice]

Hi Mikael -

Great responses here; I appreciate your diligence in looking. It makes guiding very enjoyable.

So, is there actual experience of ‘fear’ or what is actually appearing (AE) is label + sensation + color + thoughts ABOUT fear? Is 'fear' actually known?

No. "Fear" does not exist. There are sensations and thoughts but even those aren't real.

It is only thought that 'points' to the sensation and labels it 'fear' and gives the sensation meaning by adding the story to why the sensation has appeared. And if you notice, the story always points to a past. Even if it points to something that may happen in the future, the story is based on seeming past experience, and there is no such thing as a past or future.

Let’s do another couple of exercises to see if fear actually exists.

Exercise 1:

As you noticed, the sensation itself holds no inherent fear, it is simply a sensation.

Go to the sensation at the soles of the feet. Would you label that sensation ‘fear’? Or is it just a neutral, undefined
tingling sensation?

Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet – which is just neutral sensation – and the sensation in your chest (labelled ‘fear’)…what is the difference between them?
Thought describes one as a little more ‘intense’, but apart from that – any difference?

Exercise 2:

Put aside 10-15 minutes and sit with your eyes closed, and think of a story that brings up a somewhat intense sensation in the body. Then I want you to LOOK very very carefully with your eyes still closed to see if you can find/see an ACTUAL link between the thought and the sensation. If the sensation starts to dissipate, then bring the story to mind again and keep on looking to see if you can see/find a link. If you find you have drifted away with thought, just bring your attention back to the sensation and keep looking. Do this exercise at least 3 times in one day.

Let me know if you find an ACTUAL link between the thoughts and the sensation.

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet – which is just neutral sensation – and the sensation in your chest (labelled ‘fear’)…what is the difference between them?

I honestly couldn't find a difference and I looked for a while.

Thought describes one as a little more ‘intense’, but apart from that – any difference?

None whatsoever.

Let me know if you find an ACTUAL link between the thoughts and the sensation.

No, I tried but I couldn't find a link.

[Beatrice]

Hi Mikael:

Now compare the sensation of the soles of the feet – which is just neutral sensation – and the sensation in your chest (labelled ‘fear’)…what is the difference between them?

I honestly couldn't find a difference and I looked for a while.

Yes, without thought how would it be known there was a difference?
How would it be known that one is more ‘intense’ than the other?
How is it known that sensation is located at the ‘feet’ or located in a ‘chest’?

1) Imagine holding sensation in the right hand and thought in the left hand.
Does thought, on the one hand, and sensation, on the other, know about each other? Is there a link between the two?

2) Imagine sensation and thought are resting on either side of a pair of scales. When sensation is looked at it gets heavier. When thought is looked at it gets heavier.
Is it possible to look at both thought and sensation at the same time to balance the scales?

Have these exercises answered your questions regarding 'emotions'? You can of course, exchange the word 'fear' with any
other 'emotion' - sadness, depression, anger, resistance, irritation, boredom, happiness, bliss etc

Let’s take a look at the idea of choice and decision making to see if you have any choices and if you are actually making decisions.

The aim of the following exercise is to discover whether the function of choice can really be found or confirmed in actual experience. The idea of making ‘choices‘ is a very clear example of a function that we wrongly identify as the basis of our identity.

Here's what’s needed - A chair, a table and two different drinks. Any two drinks you like are okay for this: coffee, tea, milk, water, juices, smoothies, beer, wine, etc.

Preparation - Place the two drinks side by side on the table in front of you, sit comfortably on the chair and mentally label them as drink A and drink B.

Experiment - Finding the function of choice

Sit for a few moments, take a few relaxed breaths and let the dust settle. When you feel ready:

1. Look at drink A and at drink B. Think about their respective qualities, the things you like about them, compare and
weigh the pros and cons of each. See if a preference is manifesting for one or the other.
2. Count to 5.
3. Choose one of the drinks. Pick it up and take a sip.

Questions:
Remember that we’re looking for some kind of function, a something, an ‘I’ which is doing the ‘choosing’.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting? Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like? Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the ‘choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to ‘choose’?

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

Yes, without thought how would it be known there was a difference?

It can't be known without thought

How would it be known that one is more ‘intense’ than the other?

It can't be known

How is it known that sensation is located at the ‘feet’ or located in a ‘chest’?

Without thought, it can't be.

1) Imagine holding sensation in the right hand and thought in the left hand.
Does thought, on the one hand, and sensation, on the other, know about each other? Is there a link between the two?

They are the same, AE.

2) Imagine sensation and thought are resting on either side of a pair of scales. When sensation is looked at it gets heavier. When thought is looked at it gets heavier.
Is it possible to look at both thought and sensation at the same time to balance the scales?

No, it's not possible.

Have these exercises answered your questions regarding 'emotions'? You can of course, exchange the word 'fear' with any
other 'emotion' - sadness, depression, anger, resistance, irritation, boredom, happiness, bliss etc

Yes! I now see emotions for what they really are, AE of thoughts and sensations.

In step 1 when thinking about their respective qualities, did you ‘choose’ the qualities? Or did they kind of appear by themselves? If some preferences manifested, did you ‘choose’ these preferences? Or did they just pop up by themselves?

There was literally no "choosing", amazing really!

In step 2 when you counted to 5, if the preferences took the back seat while the numbers took the front seat, did you ‘choose’ this sequence of event? Did you ‘choose’ to shut down the preferences to give way to the counting? Did you directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Have you seen this function in action?

"I" chose nothing, it was like the choice had already been made as I counted.

In step 3 where you made a choice, did you actually witness or directly experience a mental function or faculty doing the ‘choosing’? Did anything arise that announced, ‘I am the chooser’? If so, what does this function look like? Sometimes we describe this sense of choosing as a ‘feeling’: It feels like ‘I’ did the ‘choosing’. But the question is, can a feeling ‘choose’? Is it in the nature of a feeling to ‘choose’?

There is no "I" to choose anything. A feeling cannot choose, it's just AE of thought.

[Beatrice]

Mikael -

Great responses all around good sir.

Okay, let’s look at the idea of control.

1. Hold a hand in front of you; palm turned down.
2. Now turn the palm up. And down...and up and so on.

Watch like a hawk.

Don't go to thoughts, examine the actual experience. Do this as many times as you like, and each time inquire…

How is the movement controlled?
Does a thought control it?
Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?
How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.
Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

How is the movement controlled?

It's not controlled, there's AE of sensation and colour but that's it.

Does a thought control it?

No, there is no control.

Can a ‘controller’ of any description be located?

No, nowhere.

How is the decision made to turn the hand over? Track any decision point when a thought MADE THE DECISION to turn the hand over and the hand turns over immediately.

There is no choice or decision anywhere.

Can you find a separate individual or anything that is choosing when to turn the palm up or down?

I can't. There is no-one choosing or deciding. This is very freeing.

Thank you!

Mikael

[Beatrice]

Hi Mikael:

This is very freeing.

It's all so very simple, isn't it ?

Okay, so we have seen there is no chooser/decider, and no controller, let’s look a the idea of a ‘doer/doership’.

We’ll do a little exercise on this topic. It has to do with the sense of seeing.

Take a few relaxed breaths to let the dust settle for a while, and then:
Look on your right.
Then look on your left.
Finally, bring your head back to centre, close your eyes and look in front.

Okay, so when you look on the right, the view on the right is seen (whatever that is).
When you look on the left, the view on the left is seen (whatever that is).
And then, when you look in front of you with eyes closed, the view in front is seen (ie black space).

So, when the view on the right is seen, do you have the ‘choice’ not to see? I’m not asking can you ‘choose’ to see something else like another view or black space if you close your eyes. The question is, can you turn seeing off? Can you NOT see what is seen?

Same thing with the view on the left, can you NOT see the view on the left?

Same thing with the view in front with closed eyes, can you NOT see the blank sky?

Can you turn off seeing?

Last question, in this whole exercise, what did the 'chooser' choose? Did a 'self' choose something?

If you can't choose what you're aware of, then what else is there to choose?

Sincerely,
Jeremy

[ananda1973]

Hi Jeremy

So, when the view on the right is seen, do you have the ‘choice’ not to see? I’m not asking can you ‘choose’ to see something else like another view or black space if you close your eyes. The question is, can you turn seeing off? Can you NOT see what is seen?

No, you can't turn seeing off, you have to see what is seen.

Same thing with the view on the left, can you NOT see the view on the left?

no. you can't

Same thing with the view in front with closed eyes, can you NOT see the blank sky?

No, you can't

Can you turn off seeing?

No, it's impossible.

Last question, in this whole exercise, what did the 'chooser' choose? Did a 'self' choose something?

No-one chose anything, there was only the AE of seeing.

If you can't choose what you're aware of, then what else is there to choose?

Nothing, life happens. that's all.

[Beatrice]

Hi Mikael:

No-one chose anything, there was only the AE of seeing.

And what exactly is experiencing the AE?
Is there a boundary / dividing line between experience and the experiencer?

Let’s have a look at the idea of the body and see if that is what is the experiencer.

Sit with eyes closed for about 15 minutes.
Paying attention only to the pure sensations, without relying on thoughts or mental images:

Can it be known how tall the body is?
Does the body have a weight or volume?

In the actual experience does the body have a shape or a form?

Is there a boundary between the body and the clothing?
Is there a boundary between the body and the chair?

Is there an inside or an outside? If there is an inside - inside of what exactly?
If there is an outside, the outside of what exactly?

What does the word/label ‘body’ ACTUALLY refer to?
What is the ACTUAL experience of the body?

Look very carefully, especially with the last question. Take your time, don’t rush. You can look several times during the
day while doing other things (like washing hands, showering, having a short break from work, walking, etc.) before
replying.

Sincerely,
Jeremy