Way to Light

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

Beautifully said!

So then Pedro any more questions from you? Anything else you want to look at?

Has the illusion of self been clearly seen through? Any doubt (about anything)?

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

good morning Jim,

well, i need more pointers :). this is not gonna be a walk in the park, so please be patience with me :). i mean i feel it´s close but it´s no here (yet)

so present situation:
1- i see that expectations about what "truth" is like block´s me from really seeing "what is". so i´ll drop that expectations. in fact expectations makes me believe there´s one final click left to be made, and that´s just a mind desire, and has we have seen before, that´s useless cause the mind will never be pleased.
2- believing that states outside of peace means i´m far from awakening it´s not true, that´s just part of being human.
3- there´s is no I, can´t be found, can´t be known.
4- all is interconnected, every aspect of reality (me included). it´s just thoughts that give the impression that i´m separated and the other things are separated too.

still there´s dissatisfaction, well maybe not plain dissatisfaction, but search, yeah, a subtle search, not for material achievements (i stop caring for that years ago), but for spiritual fullfilment. like a secret hope for something better. let´s say a search to end the search. i realize that my longing for peace was nothing more than a longing to end the search, cause that´s what those bliss states always brought me, sense of being totally complete and the imediate fall of the search.

love
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

I'm happy to continue walking with you in the park or elsewhere :)

i see that expectations about what "truth" is like block´s me from really seeing "what is". so i´ll drop that expectation

Since this is a thought, how can thoughts be dropped? Can thought be controlled that way?

i realize that my longing for peace was nothing more than a longing to end the search, cause that´s what those bliss states always brought me, sense of being totally complete and the imediate fall of the search

So there's still a belief/expectation of a "final state"? an "end"? What would end or be final? Can a search exist without a self?

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Good afternoon Jim,

Since this is a thought, how can thoughts be dropped? Can thought be controlled that way?

yeah, you´re right. they can´t be dropped, the one who want to drop thoughts is another thought, that means secretly i want them to go away. so i´ll just let them be, pay no attention to them, they´re just thoughts, not true anyway.

So there's still a belief/expectation of a "final state"? an "end"? What would end or be final? Can a search exist without a self?

yeah, more and more i´m startin to feel there´s no final state. i´m mean as i´m leaving all the expectations behind (peace, bliss, completeness, sense of being connected, etc....) i am left with nothing. nothing. just the unknown. just this raw life.

Can a search exist without a self?

nop, who is searching?
since yesterday after i reply to you, i remember a video i saw weeks ago and saw it again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=id_MRkPN8P4
it´s from a lady who seen the truth (also from LU i think). and she spoke so much truth that something clicked in me. so since yesterday i have no desire to search for better states. i´m left with what is. sometimes there´s peace, sometimes tension, sometimes fear, all the human emotional varieties, still there´s no sense of something being wrong, something being a mistake that must be fixed.

it´s just this.

love,
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

Delightful!

i´m left with what is. sometimes there´s peace, sometimes tension, sometimes fear, all the human emotional varieties, still there´s no sense of something being wrong, something being a mistake that must be fixed.

Please watch this video (15m) which addresses this...
https://www.facebook.com/AmodaMaaJeevan ... 556706484/

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Hello my friend, sorry for the late reply, lately i´m being very busy at work, and can´t manage the time to sit properly and focus. so finally today i watch the video.

Great video, “embrace the paradox” - i totally see what the man is going throught, i mean it´s the worst experience when you´re feeling high peace, divine bliss and you came back to being mortal again :D, “oh no, not again ☹ “ and of course the mind resists that, they´re so high contrast experiences, and you just want the good part, the heaven part, not the hell part :D.

but tell me please, after all, the bliss experiences what do they mean? what´s the purpose for their appearing? it means that we´re in the right path for awakening? or is it a form a communion with our real nature?

As for my present moment, well, i kind of feel doubts about my gut feeling of “no one being here”. i´ll explain: when i´m feeling well, it´s easy to feel light, in peace and at ease, so basically my mind is serene and there is absolutly no search for better states, it´s easy to feel like "i´m no one".
But when i´m suffering, like in typical work stress, you know, then i have this sensation of not wanting to be where i´m at, like i wanna speed up time to “later on, when i´m feeling better”, and at the same time when i´m suffering and start having all this negatives thoughts i sense some thoughts pop up and said “there´s no one here”, usually i pay no attention to it, but i see maybe it´s a fraction of ego who still tries to build up this story of me being a spiritual person and not care for my suffering, try to bypass it being telling a (spiritual) story.
So after all maybe my no-self conviction is still only intelectual, maybe i still don´t have that instinctive, unshakable conviction of being the awareness, and not the person.

What do you think?

love
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

I appreciate your honesty in your response - that's crucial to this work!

but tell me please, after all, the bliss experiences what do they mean? what´s the purpose for their appearing?

We need to be careful here - we're treading in the field of concepts/meaning - all mind stuff/thoughts. On one hand the bliss experiences encourage us to keep looking, but on the other hand they can perpetuate the search. Meaning is always a concept, so is always ephemeral. Trying to find meaning is trying to find the ephemeral. Seeing meaning in the moment is fine, but expecting it to be there the next moment is an expectation :)

But when i´m suffering, like in typical work stress, you know, then i have this sensation of not wanting to be where i'm at, like i wanna speed up time to “later on, when i´m feeling better”

Let's have a look at the concept of "search". The word can mean many things in usual mind, but when you look deeply at "searching" what do you find? Can you really find either a definite end possibility or a searcher? Usually search has some kind of vague end point, but when we look more deeply what do we really find?

So after all maybe my no-self conviction is still only intelectual, maybe i still don´t have that instinctive, unshakable conviction of being the awareness, and not the person.

The video I pointed to you suggested that we embrace the good, the bad and the ugly - all of our experience. If there is rejection, i.e. of work stress, that is separation and we need to look at that. We certainly don't have to like it, but that in itself is not a bypass.

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Good morning Jim,

We need to be careful here - we're treading in the field of concepts/meaning - all mind stuff/thoughts. On one hand the bliss experiences encourage us to keep looking, but on the other hand they can perpetuate the search. Meaning is always a concept, so is always ephemeral. Trying to find meaning is trying to find the ephemeral. Seeing meaning in the moment is fine, but expecting it to be there the next moment is an expectation :)

yeah, i totally get it. damn mind, always tries to find meaning/logic explanations for everything :D

Let's have a look at the concept of "search". The word can mean many things in usual mind, but when you look deeply at "searching" what do you find? Can you really find either a definite end possibility or a searcher? Usually search has some kind of vague end point, but when we look more deeply what do we really find?

ok, i get what you mean. there´s no search going on right now, i´m feeling fine, so let´s wait until next time i´m feeling in turmoil and wanting to escape the moment. i´ll do that questions to myself :).

The video I pointed to you suggested that we embrace the good, the bad and the ugly - all of our experience. If there is rejection, i.e. of work stress, that is separation and we need to look at that. We certainly don't have to like it, but that in itself is not a bypass.

i get it, life as whole, right? usually when i´m stressed i do mindfulness practices to just allow thoughts and bodily sensations to be as they are. just give them full attention, and after a while i feel at ease again. but until i sit and be with myself, there´s this awful sensation, ressentment, anger, that i want to get rid off. that´s when i think the search begins.
but funny coincidence today, i woke up a little grumpy, and was at work feeling grumpy and my mind start building sugestions of "oh, the other day is was so fine, i was making jokes by now, look at me now, a zombie".
but instead of continuing critizing myself for being the way i was, i just allowed myself to feel grumpy, talking and behaving the way i felt natural at the moment. and you know what happen? grumpiness pass real quickly, i was laughing and making jokes again, not that i wanted to feel happy again, but happiness just appeared, effortless, uninvited.

very smoothing!! much because the burden of maintaining an image was gone.

much love,
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

but instead of continuing critizing myself for being the way i was, i just allowed myself to feel grumpy, talking and behaving the way i felt natural at the moment. and you know what happen? grumpiness pass real quickly, i was laughing and making jokes again

Excellent!

Here's a post from Jac O'Keeffe's facebook page that is relevant...

Question: When I look, it’s obvious that there is nobody here. Life is everywhere, but there is no person.
Yet, when situations take my attention, this realization seems to disappear. Then it looks like a restricted someone is present. The sense of I is drawn back in the illusion. Will this pass or will this always be part of the game?

Jac Replies: What has yet to burn out is the idea of ownership. In the seeing that "life is everywhere, but there is no person" is there a hint of ownership of this perspective? There is no person but it does feel like there is someone looking? I know language is tricky here but if it is you who is seeing that this is so, then the ‘you’ is hiding and of course will pop up again as soon as a distraction is presented by life. There is ownership running in both visions. The ‘I’ is safely hidden when the ‘I’ is looking for someone because it's doing the looking! The sense of ‘I’ subtly remains and pops up with more visibility when attention is active. Go after ‘ownership’ and it will be seen that the sense of ‘I’ is no more than an idea, like a cloud passing through the sky. It loses all authenticity. From there (no ownership) the sense of ‘I’ reduces to an idea of ‘I’. It is then seen that the idea of an ‘I’ is just another whim of consciousness – there is no power in it to create an actual ‘you’. Go after ownership with vigilance.

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Good morning my friend,

so here´s what i found. yesterday i notice another "search" moment. i was in stress, feeling hurt, and start to question myself the way you suggested. well, the searcher is gone, everytime i stop and look for it, there´s no one there, total blank, only unpleasant sensations in the body. but when i question "what i´m i searching" then the answer is straight up: "being free from this pain or fix the situation that cause it". so i can´t find a searcher but a search is there.

Question: When I look, it’s obvious that there is nobody here. Life is everywhere, but there is no person.
Yet, when situations take my attention, this realization seems to disappear. Then it looks like a restricted someone is present. The sense of I is drawn back in the illusion. Will this pass or will this always be part of the game?

Jac Replies: What has yet to burn out is the idea of ownership. In the seeing that "life is everywhere, but there is no person" is there a hint of ownership of this perspective? There is no person but it does feel like there is someone looking? I know language is tricky here but if it is you who is seeing that this is so, then the ‘you’ is hiding and of course will pop up again as soon as a distraction is presented by life. There is ownership running in both visions. The ‘I’ is safely hidden when the ‘I’ is looking for someone because it's doing the looking! The sense of ‘I’ subtly remains and pops up with more visibility when attention is active. Go after ‘ownership’ and it will be seen that the sense of ‘I’ is no more than an idea, like a cloud passing through the sky. It loses all authenticity. From there (no ownership) the sense of ‘I’ reduces to an idea of ‘I’. It is then seen that the idea of an ‘I’ is just another whim of consciousness – there is no power in it to create an actual ‘you’. Go after ownership with vigilance.

great post. yeah, when seeing it does feel there´s no one seeing but there is a slight ownership of "I am seeing". so what should i do? inquiry who is looking? how do i "go after ownership with vigilance"?

love,
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

everytime i stop and look for it, there´s no one there, total blank, only unpleasant sensations in the body.

Exactly!

but when i question "what i´m i searching" then the answer is straight up: "being free from this pain or fix the situation that cause it". so i can´t find a searcher but a search is there.

You find sensations which is certainly true, but what you're calling a search here is thoughts which imply an I.

when seeing it does feel there´s no one seeing but there is a slight ownership of "I am seeing". so what should i do? inquiry who is looking? how do i "go after ownership with vigilance"?

Ownership is that sense that experience belongs to/is being had by an I. So when you notice "I am ..." or "... is happening to me", something subtle is claiming ownership of the experience. So can you find an actual owner, or just thoughts of ownership.

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Good morning Jim :)

well, this is getting extremely technical :D

You find sensations which is certainly true, but what you're calling a search here is thoughts which imply an I.

yes, the story of a search must be there for me to want to escape pain. i arrived to that answer only by questioning "what do i want?", without question (and answer), there´s still only the unpleasant sensations. so both the question and answer are thought generated, that means it´s thought that suggest there´s a search going on.

Ownership is that sense that experience belongs to/is being had by an I. So when you notice "I am ..." or "... is happening to me", something subtle is claiming ownership of the experience. So can you find an actual owner, or just thoughts of ownership.

let me sink on that. i´ll reply to you later,

love,
Pedro

[LightEternal]

Hello my friend,

so it comes down to ownership :)

well, when i look, i mean, really look there´s no sense of someone being looking, someone who´s responsable for doing the looking, so there´s no I and there´s no ownership of actions. it´s thought that gives the impression "i am looking". the pure seeing has no author, it becomes melted in "what is".

what i notice lately is there´s a progressive loss of interest in thoughts, even less than before, i mean the mind keeps pumping thoughts all the time, i just lost almost all interest in them. sometimes i still get caught in the trance but i don´t care. other times i feel a slight tendency to ignore thoughts, but i don´t care also. slowly i start to feel that my thought generated life, "my second life" as i call it, is fading away.

on these last days peace entered again, the background bliss, but instead of hoping for it to stay, i just go along with it, not caring if it stays or goes, not caring if it´s changed for something else. i simply stop giving meaning, language, to experiences. life is what is, happens as it happens, has no explanations and implies no meanings. that doesn´t mean i don´t use thoughts to solve problems, it just means i don´t let them dictate how the experience is. language is not "what is".

at the same time i start seeing that the grid of illusion caused by language (thought) is so strong that it can caught us all life without our knowledge. the second life can be stronger than the real life if we let it. it´s really sad.
our love for concepts and logic reasoning gave us plenty but as a deadly backlash.

love,
Pedro

[jjm109]

Dear Pedro,

Lovely description of what's happening...


There are some final questions that we use for you to make sure that you've seen all the way through the illusion.

Let me know if you have any questions. Otherwise, are you ready for me to send you the questions?

Sending love,
Jim

[LightEternal]

Hello my friend,

something wonderful happen to me today. i was lying in bed, and have this thought:
"so, there´s no I, there´s no author, so what´s here?", and there was this picture of my daughter in the wall, and them bang, it hit me, one moment of obviousness. a deep seeing of "there´s only this". half a second. my God, it´s was so obvious, i mean, we´re talking stupidity levels of obviousness :D. i start laughing like a maniac, what a joke, the all time, under my nose. and the more i see things running there own course the more i laughed.

now i´m seeing reality much more alive, much more ingrained in me so to speak.

There are some final questions that we use for you to make sure that you've seen all the way through the illusion.
Let me know if you have any questions. Otherwise, are you ready for me to send you the questions?

well, i´m a little afraid if there´s any self leftovers here somewhere :D. but hey, there´s only one way to find out :). deal the cards my friend.

love,
Pedro