Okay, but relaxing is HOW you SEE!
What were you doing when this happened?
I have had the experience for a few days where my entire being was in that space where I was “I-less” and timeless. I’ll use “me” as the story of small self and “I” as the one witnessing me, just for clarity. Life just seemed to happen and I witnessed it happening to me. It was not me in control of it as usual, setting plans and doing things but me was like a character in a stage play and I was watching the play. Occasionally me would stop to think about something, or react to a situation, and I would smile at me as if me was a child learning to walk and stumbling. When things needed to happen, they happened and me was not in control as me usually thinks. Something else was directing the play and me just had a role in the play. During these few days there was no thought of me not being in control because it just was what it was, no analysis required.
Were you "trying hard?" Or relaxed?
Ignoring what I know the answer should be, I can only see that a mirror would reflect me. Where can I find me? I don’t know.
You see a "me'in the mirror? Or some colored image that you were taught to label, "me?" Check. What is seen?
there is the bird and there is hearing.
There is a bird?
Yes, there is hearing, but what tells you there is "bird?" What is the Actual Experience of bird?
The bird is there, as it is. The hearing is in me but it is hearing the bird. Why do I want to cry?
Check again. Do you see "bird?" Or just colors you were taught to label "bird?"
LOOK at a bird and SEE.
If it were me crying at the point that you wrote this, it would be from frustration. Like I said before, crying can be very good. It can mean we've let go of our defenses.
Again, "optic nerve" - AE or a made-up label?
Go through the questions above. Then we have a different exercise. It is based on the same understanding through working on above. I realize you're going to be out of town and there will be a lot of family things to deal with, but do what you can when you can even if it's after you get back.
Okay...
Let's do another exercise to help distinguish between what I call "story" or "content" and the simple fact of Direct or Actual Experience (DE or AE).
DE is color, sound, sensation, smell, taste and the fact of thought arising (but not the content of that thought or the story that thought tells.)
If you have a "real" apple then you can use that for this exercise.
Have a look at an apple. When "looking at an apple," there's color; a thought saying "apple;" and maybe a thought saying, "I'm looking at an apple."
What is known for sure? Color is known and thoughts are known.
What about the content of thoughts, the story, what they describe?
Actual experience does not refer to thoughts ABOUT something - because that is only more thought. Actual experience is sound, thought, color, smell, taste, sensation and the fact of a thought arising.
Is there really an ‘apple’ here, or only color and a thought ABOUT "apple?"
Can "apple" be found in actual experience?
While these thoughts are known, what they talk ABOUT can't be found in Actual Experience (AE.)
This is what is meant by "looking in actual experience." What you know for sure, and, is always here.
Taste labeled "apple" is known.
Color labeled "apple" is known.
Sensation labeled "apple" is known (when apple is touched).
Smell labelled "apple’ is known.
Thought about/of an "apple" is known.
However, is an apple actually known?
Let me know what you find.
Much love,
