1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?
Nope and nope!
2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.
The self is a conceptual thought framework, and so is just a small part of the matrix of thought experiences. Because language is such a huge part of it, I would assume that it begins once we start to learn to understand and speak, although since time is also a conceptual thought framework, it's hard to say when it starts, or if it ever really started at all(especially since the illusion itself is only the content of thoughts, and there's no one to be deluded).
It's hard to put into words, but the illusion of self seems like a semi-convenient "software" for individual bodies to navigate the world, similar to the framework that breaks experience into manageable separate selves or entities/objects when in reality there's more of a singular unfolding.
3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.
It feels about the same as before. Thoughts keep doing their thing with the exception that they have less (and less) of a narrative of control and individuation.
4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?
Actually looking at thoughts and realizing that everything is spontaneous, with a narrative happening within that spontaneity.
5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.
Decision, intention, free will, choice, and control are all convenient (but ultimately false) narratives. I don't know what makes things happen, and would venture to say that no individual thing makes anything else happen. There are no individual things. There is happening.
Who is there to be responsible?
Interestingly, none of this changes this thought narrative that I should continue to get up, go to work, try to make the world . a better place, exercise, eat, sleep. Like I said before, I finally get "form is emptiness, and emptiness, form."
6) Anything else to add?
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
