would like to begin

[Jason6187]

hi been looking around for a couple weeks. would like to begin this process. it doesnt matter to me with who. thank you

[Cam-RT]

Hello and Welcome!

Is Jason the name you prefer to be called?...

Now I do have one little rule...That when I ask you questions, please answer when ready, with complete honesty, precisely, and what you "feel" is 100% true.... (Not believe. Beliefs and opinions have no place here. )

This process is ultimately for your benefit in the end, your focus and commitment to this, is key in it's completion. 

One more important thing to ask is, that whatever teachings, beliefs or spiritual practices, you have acquired along your journey till now; Please put them aside until this process is over. They are of NO use here...You can revisit them later if you wish...Thank You!

Okay first question...

What expectations  do you have from becoming Enlightened?

And next before I go is...

What comes up when I say..."There is no separate entity "Self" in real life at all??

[Jason6187]

Hello, yes Jason is fine.

Well i used to have all kinds of expectations when i started years ago. i used to think it would solve all my problems and you know that i would be blissed out and all that. but that was a long time ago. now im to the point where it feels i have no choice but to find the truth. everything has pretty much been set aside and this is all that matters like i dont even have a choice anymore.

What comes up is an intellectual understanding that you are correct. i have had many moments where i have had a kinda vision where i see only enviornment . an example might be looking at a object like a ball and just kinda blending with it. Or another example would be having a emotion come up like anger and there just being space for it without it seeming to be a part of me.

sorry il figure out the quote thing for next time to make it easier to read.

[Cam-RT]

Good morning Jason...

I'm glad that you want to see this thru...

There are two kinds of people...Those that achieve this during their lifetime and the rest that will, (at the moment) prior to their death...

an example might be looking at a object like a ball and just kinda blending with it.

This is what is called a "perceptual filter" it comes and go's depending on the situation, but nothing you need to worry about; at least until we're done here...

Or another example would be having a emotion come up like anger and there just being space for it without it seeming to be a part of me.

Now this is interesting...This is what you want to take note of in your mind... ("Just being space for it, without it seeming to be a part of me."), as we proceed...

Okay, now we're going to address how thoughts and feelings coincide within the body and how the body will help guide you to finding and seeing the "Self" as it really is...

The mind, in addition to being an incredible processing and storage device, is also a labeling machine that labels experience as soon as perception happens.

Here's how it occurs...

Thought triggers feeling, feeling gets labeled---New trigger---Feeling gets more intense ---More labels--->Vicious feedback loop...

This is what go's on endlessly when " I " is at the centre...

Now I want you to think of a uncomfortable thought...(The more negative the better.)  Pick a couple, (You know those reoccurring ones that really bug you.)

Do you feel how the body reacts when these thoughts are revisited?

Now, let's take this a step further...When you feel the body react, bring this thought up close, look...(with "laser focus") deep inside and behind this thought...

What do you see??

One last thing before I go...the quote thing you were taking about go's...This one gos after the quote...[/quote]....this one go's BERFORE it...

Sorry had to show it to you this way or it makes the quote boxes we're talking about...

[Jason6187]

Do you feel how the body reacts when these thoughts are revisited?

yea i notice tenseness in the shoulders and a generally uneasiness in the chest and stomach area. i also notice an heaviness to this me like a imaginary weight on my back. i have had depression a long time so im well acquainted with this happiness. i was on medicine for it years ago and realized that would never solve anything so i got off it. i have been able the last couple years to seperate depression from being apart of me to more something i see in front of me. like not "i am depressed" but more like " depression is here right now" a watchers perspective i suppose

What do you see??

i will put those thoughts out here for the benefit for those who may be reading this. my negative thought examples are I am a failure and I hate the way my life is going. these are the most negative thoughts. immediately the question comes to mind is who is this I that is a failure? one thing i notice is that the thought feels stale. like a old record that just plays over and over now. a conditioned response. like no one is activating it . i will try to do this over the next day or too also when anger or something stressful comes up and see if i can catch the thought and feeling in the moment and the body reaction and try to look behind the thought then also.

[Jason6187]

i meant to put well acquainted with this heaviness not happiness. lol

thanks Cam for taking the time to work with me. i do appreciated it

[Jason6187]

lol damn appreciate it. im very tired

[Cam-RT]

Okay Jason, looks like your doing well...

It's that physical connection that we are going to focus on and practice; Remember the body doesn't lie...When the body feels threatened it will react to protect itself...Same as if someone was to threaten to "hit" you and the reflex that follows to protect the body.... You'll notice the same reaction or "connection" with other negative thoughts / feelings like...
Anger,  frustration, sadness, depression, impatients, anxiety  etc...

These thoughts we're looking at, are sorta like the layers on an onion... Once you see these thoughts for what each one really "IS"; You're in turn, eliminating places for "The Self" to hide...

 It's taken almost a life time to build this "construct" ("The I or Self") so you've got some work to do.
The problem is that 'The I or Self" is very cunning, It doesn't want to be found for what 'it' is. And it has alot on it's side, let's face it we use it every day as a construct of our language!!

I have some other clients that see these thoughts like "empty eggs or bubbles"...So here's what I want you to do.

To make this a bit more interesting, We're gonna make this a game... 

When your out and about and you feel these feelings pop up take a 'step back' (mentally) and take a second look. Look straight through it see it for what it is. (nothing) and move on...
Practice this in "real time"....

Then When you get some time to yourself, we need to "clean house"...This is the part you need to be thorough, think of your mind kinda like an 'attic' and it's full of boxes. you need to go through all the boxes open them up dump all the 'shit' out,( when you get those uneasy feelings) look at it, see it for what 'it' is "crush it", or 'pop it' then move on.

Pardon all the metaphors, but don't let any stone go unturned! "the self" will keep moving around. You need to catch "the general", you might look right at it and miss it ...Don't worry you'll eventually come full circle and get'em later.

This takes practice, and repetition. as time go's by you'll feel these feelings subside.

I need you to check in though, and tell me how you're doing we need to confirm your progress and ask some confirmation questions to see if (and when) the process is done. 

Take Care...Cam-RT.

[Jason6187]

ok i will work on that a couple of days and then get back to you. i think i have been doing this awhile also. Im way better than i was a few years ago even though nothing outward in my life has changed. there is definitely way less of me than there was last year. i dont want to give you the impression that depression has taken over my life. i was basically giving you worst case of where i have been before. although i know its not completely dealt with yet.

[Cam-RT]

Bump...