Really

[Nonotion]

Hope that is clear

[Matthew]

saying to me you have a crappy time when you are lazy attention wise

Well. "Laziness"...
What is there to achieve?
Is there an effort needed to go to place, that you had never left?

I find “nothing”

Right.
So what is recognised is an absence.
Does an absence need to be constantly acknowledged for it to be the case?

What happens when there is no looking at the moment.
Does that have an impact on the absence of a self?
Or is it ALWAYS just that: Absent. Non-existent.

If I get drunk

Next time, have a look:

Is there a drunken experience?
Or is there an experience of drunkenness?

[Nonotion]

Great excellent little pointers .
Have just gone through them now and all is as you say and this feels like my final clarification piece .. will look more today and get back to you ty

[Nonotion]

Yes this has really clarified what was the “stone in my shoe” it as if I wanted more than just the absence I always find . This would commit me to an infinite amount of looking for an infinite period of time .. But I have found no me and I have found nothing to look at etc etc how can I forget what was never there ..it’s kind of funny 😎

[Nonotion]

And the “no I” to forget of course

[Matthew]

Glad that the stone in the shoe was found.
Was there ever a stone? Was there ever a shoe? :-)

If there is nothing unclear, then we can come to conclude this conversation.
I would pose the final questions to you which will show, whether everything is clear or not.

Is that okay?

[Nonotion]

Sounds good .. no there was never a stone or shoe

[Matthew]

Here they come.
Since this was a rather short conversation, please take your time and answer every question elaborately.
Looking forward to your reply!



1) Is there a separate entity 'self', 'me' 'I', at all, anywhere, in any way, shape or form? Was there ever?

2) Explain in detail what the illusion of separate self is, when it starts and how it works from your own experience. Describe it fully as you see it now.

3) How does it feel to see this? What is the difference from before you started this dialogue? Please report from the past few days.

4) What was the last bit that pushed you over, made you look?

5) Describe decision, intention, free will, choice and control. What makes things happen? How does it work? What are you responsible for? Give examples from experience.

6) Anything to add?

[Nonotion]

Answer to q 1 ....no to all bits

[Matthew]

If there are unclarities concerning the questions, just tell me.
We can have a look at it!

[Nonotion]

2.the illusion of a seperate self is created by thoughts describing experience to other thoughts that there is a seperate self . On examination at all times one simply finds experience(physical ,thoughts ,sense of aliveness ) but no self . The self is and always has been a very convincing illusion which dismantled on observation .

[Nonotion]

It feels a big relief not to carry around a big weight on my back claustrophobically choking me from the reality of “direct experience “ ie just a thought ,just a sensation experience

[Nonotion]

2 bits .1.realising that just cos I forget something that I know to be the case from observation doesn’t make it not so 2. Realising that my habit of making certain thoughts special (eg quiet thoughts) was simply a thought
I had already seen the reality of “no seperate self “ when I started this inquiry I just had these doubts/habits to see for what they were

[Nonotion]

5.decision,intention ,choice ,free will and control.

These are all just happening without a self running the show .
Eg I lift my arm ...there is physical movement and maybe a thought “I have lifted my arm” or maybe a thought “my arm is higher and ham it was before”
I decide to lift my arm .....is simply a thought ! I might still not lift my arm after that thought ... if I do “decide “ to lift my arm either the arm will be lifted in which case I will have the physical experience of a lifted arm and maybe some more thoughts etc
Do I have control over that “NO” all that can be said is it he arm is lifted (same for everything else )
Was it choice or free will ,well the answer to those questions is the same as the last answer I gave ..
One can just say “stuff is happening” which is a big relief

[Nonotion]

6. Thanks for guiding me ..very skilled