Vikasana

[Nina45]

Hello Patrick!

Sorry for the delay in replying. I think I have now sorted out the problem with notifications. Please PM me if you can't get hold of me!

Craving/ addictive behaviour is about a belief that things are not OK in the here and now.

What is it that says things are not OK?

Is it thought or sensation/ feeling?

Best wishes

Nina

[Vikasana]

Thank you for your message Nina.

It is nice to hear from you and I understand from a friend you are busy guiding.

I also sent you a Facebook request and I would be happy to engage on there also if it suits you or am I am happy to continue on here.

I am sorry for a month gap in my contact whislt I was trying to support a friend for a while with a traumatic event but I am more free now and want to get onto the fetters.

I do attend an addiction group along with a friend of mine that you are guiding further along but have been stuck on step one of twelve for months.

I meditated this morning for about an hour and have a sense of holding on to something or blocking feelings which manifests as feeling blocked around my throat area and if I experience it more fully it passes and leads to more ability to let go of attachment to thoughts and feelings that arise.

Today I have been feeling despair and tend to have thoughts such as what a mess my life is or I'm a failure and that there are things I need to address which I constantly put off etc, and then I tend to give into any thoughts and feelings I label painful through addictive tendencies instead of just letting thoughts and feelings be and pass, even the craving aspect itself which I experienced as very strong today and gave in to it.

I would say it's the thoughts that say things are not ok.

I have a sense that if I engage with the fetters, longer meditation and the twelve steps particularly character floors and resentments I can start to address pain underneath at a deeper level and overcome craving and anger and resolving practical issues will come more easily. I have started to integrate towards being focused on these practices rather than other activities which may be a distraction. Practically I am in a lot of debt and my University nursing course has been on hold for years even though I have only about 10% to complete.

Kind regards Patrick.

[Nina45]

Hi Patrick -

I have sent you a PM.

It sounds like you need to be very kind to yourself at the moment. This process is about seeing why we don't have to believe thought - that most of our suffering is caused by seeing thought as real rather than just a stream of information/ pictures etc.

If you look at the thoughts currently passing through, is it possible to see where they are going to or coming from?

Is it possible to predict the next thought?

Is it possible to pick and choose from an array of thoughts?


Very best wishes

Nina

[Vikasana]

Thank you for your message Nina.

I haven't received a PM though only this one.

I will reflect on your three questions this weekend and send you back a reply.

Best wishes and thank you Patrick.