NowHere

[kvotski]

Yes indeed Glenn. I don't trust you as long as there is a person.

Satchitanand is not the name if a god entity. It simply means a mind (chitta) reveling in loving bliss (Ananda) when it realises the truth (sat).

In that moment, in every moment, all there is is satchitanand. All else is false, made up nonsense imagined by a body which assumes it is a person.

I'm here. Where could I go?

[oboundless]

Gosh, this is a hall of mirrors: WHENEVER I talk about (claim, glorify, get poetic, etc) no-self experiences the fragrance of the undivided vanishes, no matter how much I sniff the air.

[kvotski]

The one lost in the hall of mirrors is not you.

[kvotski]

The hall of mirrors is in you.

[oboundless]

I wrote an eloquent piece about this Sunil, then erased it, in some disgust at how talking about it started to turn vividly alive experience into conceptual-dust.

There's some kind of deepening going on in which I seem in touch with the unborn. I'm being colonized by vibrations which are lovely. It's a misnomer to talk about 'I,' but I've got to say something. Although the silence of the unborn is thick and deep, satchitananda seems fitting for it. This was always here, unnoticed.

Thank you.

[kvotski]

Hi Glenn

You are the awakening psychotherapist.

My impression is that you harbour great respect even awe for Spiritual teachers from Buddha to Francis and a whole lot of others.

You forget that they know no more than you do. There is no more to know.

Only their bodies may have different experience which in your delusion find Superior and attractive. You may try and even achieve a Dalai lama like state but the truth will not change.

And that truth simply is all your anxieties belong to a non existent separate idea of a self. It's just a story.

So wake up already.

[oboundless]

Thanks,

I deeply appreciate expressions that encapsulate truth in a resonant way, and aspire to that possibility -- but don't want to be any of those people. I have no interest in being the Dalai Lama, although I appreciate his childlikeness, and loving Osho seems like something from beyond time that is a gift. Just clarifying.

I seem to swim in and out of the story. (There's something deeply wrong about that remark, almost certainly that there's 'I' in it.....) You have it, you lose it, you said a short while back. So it seems, today.

[kvotski]

No one swims in and out. Story emerges and subsides. Breath in breath out.

[oboundless]

Hello Sunil,

Thanks for your recent postings. I feel a bit silly writing anything with 'I' in it after them (!!!) -- and the only outcome of a long walk today musing on what you said, and on all this, is that all that's called for is to relax. Then there's cessation. Searching ceases. All is, but with no-one to know it. Relaxing is letting my head drop out of the game.

This feels not exactly dull, but certainly null. Then there's being paused in now, as it were, with all the dynamism of that: body tingling, sounds happening, vision constantly shifting, and thought burbling, rather than pointedly rushing-after something. Breath in and breath out, as you said.

I do love quoting teachers. As if it validates my experience. I don't know that I know all they do, so yes, I probably have them on some sort of pedestal. I think you know more than I know, or have attainment of some kind that I lack. I write that, then relax, and my statement about you seems absurd. But still, here we are, you and I, with me offering my snippets to the chopping-block. Not much posturing or arrogance about them today.

[oboundless]

Stay here, now. Nothing much, just everything. In DE no anxiety; but how compelling to 'be' (it's a lie....) elsewhere/elsewhen!

[kvotski]

Patanjali said something about head dropping out of the game;

chitta (mind) vritti (afflictions) nirodhuh (cease) is Yoga.

Millions of words, thousands of epics and masters still squawking for you to do just that....

There will always be the temptation to bite into the apple and lose it all but not once you have swallowed the elixir (amrit) of Shiva which he churned out of the sagar (see of miseries).

Mixing a whole bunch of metaphors...

[oboundless]

Thank you Sunil,
And, I wish it were always that simple. Twice this week my little dog has been attacked by a much larger neighbor's dog, and my reaction has been anything but sublimely in the moment: ferocious, crazed, yelling and outraged. One time I drove halfway to the ER after the incident, with my heart racing like mad. I feel a bit sick from the stress hormones. And amidst these quite extreme states of distress, sublime moments. If I was thinking of escaping anything of life's extremities through this process, I am suitably disabused.

[kvotski]

How can a planet escape the ferocity of sun flares? Its heart also flutters like mad.

Many have collapsed of a heart attack even when the news were good.

Only a thought says it is my heart that is fluttering and that is not good. Can I escape this somehow? That thought originates or is captured by the reptilian brain just as though a tiger in the wild is after our gonads.

Can you notice the after effects are shorter, no longer harboring the resentment for days after?

[oboundless]

Thank you Sunil,
Only a thought says it is my...thought. Let me sit with that...and with what seems like a compulsion.
I appreciate you getting back to me.
Best to you.

[kvotski]

Where does compulsion come from?

Is that a special thought that takes a regular thought and turns it into a compulsion?

Why?

There is a lurking desire which says this compulsion will make me happy, whole, complete. Which may be the case but only if it is turned into action.