Yes. You would look at all places where you would expect it to be found. So is with the self. You look there where it is supposed to be. Than you know. The only place it can be is direct experience, here and now.If I were confirming that there were "no cup," however, I would keep looking all around the room to be sure, and even then I wouldn't be positive. Is this natural? Do you simply keep checking until you're sure?
Where I "find" it is not in direct experience, here and now, but rather past ("my story") and future ("my fears"), both of which are projections of thought. In direct experience (which as you say is where one would expect it to be if it were real), there is just the "sense" that I mentioned earlier today. Not the mind (which we established I can't control and is "imagined" anyway), not the body (which is easy to identify with, but doesn't hold up upon examination-- though it might be helpful for me to get rid of all doubt here), not the sensations at the heart as I just mentioned (which are constantly morphing). So if pushed I would say "I" is what is aware of all these things... Except that "I" seems to like some things and not like other things, which is definitely coming from the mind, not from awareness which by definition would be before judgement. So then I come back to "I" is the mind...Yes. You would look at all places where you would expect it to be found. So is with the self. You look there where it is supposed to be. Than you know. The only place it can be is direct experience, here and now.
Or you would expect it somewhere else?
Awareness is clearly aware, even when "I'm" not directly aware of it (say when caught up in something). So "I" must be within awareness. But this is a thought, not direct seeing.Awareness is one of the labels for this which is right now.
Are you aware of it, or „you“ is a thought appearing in awareness?
Are you having this experience, or „you“ is part of the experience?
Yes. I can see them just as programming playing out within experience. The contraction/sadness/fear that arises still feels (sorry for being daft...) personal though. I "know" these are labels for sensations with a big MY attached to them. For many years I've been "practicing" just allowing them to be, watching them flow, seeing the thoughts that drive and sustain them. I can even see the "MY" (size of billboard). But I guess there is always an underlying current of not wanting the contraction/sadness/fear to be there anymore... which I know is not what this is about.Are the liking and disliking anything other than familiar and habitual reactions? Is it possible for you to see them as they are before the label "I" has been slapped on top of them?
Ok. Now what if I say to you that there isn't anyone there to do the getting? That "I'm not going to get this" is not only a story, but also a story with a non-existent subject?But to be honest, "I'm not going to get this" is the general flavor of my current experience right now.
You're quite capable of using the Zen stick on yourself. Can't you feel how painful that is?not wanting the contraction/sadness/fear to be there anymore.
Yes. (ouch! ;-)Can't you feel how painful that is?
Right-- the statement is actually correct: "I" is not going to get this... hmmmmmm..."I'm not going to get this" is not only a story, but also a story with a non-existent subject?
The felt sense (assumption?) is that there are varying degrees of volition. Somethings obviously happen regardless of "my" intention (like breathing/dreaming/running out of a tipi in a windstorm), somethings are suspiciously fuzzy ("I'm going to get up" followed by rolling over and going back to sleep) and somethings really feel like a decision. "OK, take a breath and relax." Breath happens and body feels more relaxed. "Now relax into the possibility of 'no-I". Awareness softens somehow.Is there really a sort of inner controller making this (or any other) volitional activity happen?
„Who“ is already an assumption! It comes from thinking, not looking!I feel like we were here before, but this does seem to be the crux of it... "who's in charge."
Joy of liberation? Glimpsing the consequences of non existence of self?the self is slippery though-- like one of those games where the monsters pop up and you try to squash them-- because while i'm rather enjoying not being in charge, there's a sense that "I" am rather enjoying not being in charge. ha ha ha...
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