A little push

[Bambaji]

Hello :)

I do feel very grateful for this and these days already. Just warm fuzzy gratefulness here, now! Wanting to express that

Lovely, you are very welcome, it's a joy to share this with you.

Asking the question is there a me + ears, there's just the sensation of ears. Without really imagining ears there's just the sensation. And there's an assumption of more of there being a centre from the eyes, perceiving the sensations kind of. When its really just the sensations around the eyes and sensations of eyeballs moving around in darkness behind the lids.

Would you say that your experience is a sensation of ears - or of noises - or just hearing?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of eyes - or of sight - or just seeing?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of flavours - or just tasting?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of scent - or of smells - or just smelling?

Is there separation between what is sensed and a senser? What is your direct experience here please?

Love x

[Frogman]

Hello!

Would you say that your experience is a sensation of ears - or of noises - or just hearing?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of eyes - or of sight - or just seeing?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of flavours - or just tasting?
Would you say that your experience is a sensation of scent - or of smells - or just smelling?

Have been sitting here for almost an hour without writing anything. Descriptions fall sort of short. Answering what the experience of it is. The directness is direct happening. Hearing seeing tasting smelling senseing. (Then comes words and descriptions of x y z. And within X y z theres xy yz xz.) All falling short when just noticing experience directly.

Is there separation between what is sensed and a senser? What is your direct experience here please?

Theres sort of thought resistance to answering No here, like a but but but, all thoughts.

Cant find any separation the directness is just bam.

With heraring and seeing theres more of a here/there. Or is there? I dont know theres such a habit to describing it that way.

When looking for the separation especially now with hearing and seeing its so unlocatable, its like a freeze/stop moment of just "AHHHHHHH jazzhands" where is it, theres just this. Theres just seeing, hearing. Its so easy to say hearing of this, or seeing of this, wich is sort of what its like. Changed from a something specific to more of this, just all of it, the experience. Is still of a this.

Not sure if the description is clear enough. Trying to put words out there! Dont know what to say.

With love!

[Bambaji]

Hola

Not sure if the description is clear enough. Trying to put words out there! Dont know what to say

Very clear, no worries :)

Is there anything coming up for you that you would like to take a look at? It reads as though you are in a good place (language is awful at communicating this stuff isn't it?!!), are you noticing a change from when we started this conversation?

Love

xx

[Frogman]

:)

Ill ponder on it a bit, theres def changes and stuff that could be expressed.

Have a good night!
xx

[Frogman]

Evening!

are you noticing a change from when we started this conversation?

Trying to stick to the actual seemed changes first; clearer noticing, more relaxed mind, less doubt. Silence and aliveness. What seems to have happened, if theres room for theoriseing a bit. Is that its been showed to the mind, to enough of a degree to atleast not know, that theres no me, no control, no decisions. Wich seems to relax it a whole lot. Theoriseing some more that might just be an idea/conceptualised and believed in kind of deeply right now. Thats where the doubt should be but somehow theres no worry about that, now.

Direct experience is clearing things up alot it seems. It is somehow known that say the story of me and everything that has happened in the past to me is not real here, now sort of, the content of it, the meaning of anything that has happened or is happening is really just not true. Without changeing anything that seems to have happened or anything ofcourse. Constant going back to that and the obviousness of theres nothing else that can be known except for this, in the directness.

Is there anything coming up for you that you would like to take a look at?

Sort of all of what I wrote wouldnt hurt to be looked at. So what questions is there. Theres the question of if the looking and what is seen is what is looked for. Just met by an undeniably full silence there.

There is doubt it seems that Im just bullshitting myself, but thats just a thought, that now is empty. There is also the expectation somehow that there shouldnt be any doubt about this, maybe thats just a belief, it dosnt seem true atleast.

I dont know, direct experience is just very hard to argue with, it is very clearing haha. What is true?

Let me know if you want me to rant more to get a sense of whats going on here :)

w love!

[Bambaji]

Hiya

What seems to have happened, if there's room for theorising a bit. Is that its been showed to the mind, to enough of a degree to at least not know, that there's no me, no control, no decisions. Which seems to relax it a whole lot

Just to be clear, what is relaxed? The mind - if so, are you feeling a separation there? Or do you mean that the experience has a more relaxed feel?

Constant going back to that and the obviousness of there's nothing else that can be known except for this, in the directness.

Yes indeed, keep on looking and checking with the Direct Experience, that's great :)

There is doubt it seems that I'm just bullshitting myself, but that's just a thought, that now is empty. There is also the expectation somehow that there shouldn't be any doubt about this, maybe that's just a belief, it doesn't seem true at least

The thought labelled doubt can keep arising after seeing through the illusion, many report this to be the case. You are breaking habits that are many years old and this can take time to work it's way through, for the old habits to drop away. Expectation - just another thought of course, as is belief! Do you see this, is this your experience? Have a look and check.

I don't know, direct experience is just very hard to argue with, it is very clearing

Absolutely, it is a very useful tool to work with.

Let me know if you want me to rant more to get a sense of whats going on here :)

Haha, thanks, no more ranting!! You have seen through the illusion of self, this seems clear. Let's just mop up these few last questions and see if anything else comes up. Then maybe I can ask you the final 6 questions, if you feel ready. If not, we can continue to explore what is arising, no problem, no pressure, no hurry. How would that be? :)

Much love xx

[Frogman]

Hey!

Just to be clear, what is relaxed? The mind - if so, are you feeling a separation there? Or do you mean that the experience has a more relaxed feel?

Yes, when talking about experience it all has a more relaxed feel to it. Saying that the mind is more relaxed is more of a way of talking about it. How do you mean seperation? I dont have much of a sort of spiritual background and separation is one of these words that Ive never really used or understood what it points too, if its a feeling or sensation or so. Is it like if theres a sense of me+the mind? The experience is not of that, but thats sort of how thoughts come around sometimes or talking. Its like me and the mind or the body. Direct experience is just sort of instant and, this.

The thought labelled doubt can keep arising after seeing through the illusion, many report this to be the case. You are breaking habits that are many years old and this can take time to work it's way through, for the old habits to drop away. Expectation - just another thought of course, as is belief! Do you see this, is this your experience? Have a look and check.

Yes, ofcourse. :) Its like knowing that thoughts content isnt true seem to be much less doubted. Its just very obvious, as it has been on a intellectual level for quite some time. I would say that the experience has just shifted (very subtle) to more of it takeing care of itself rather then haveing to make an effort to "outfact" the doubt or the thought of things, with other thoughts. But thats just what seems to have been the last few days, I have no idea really.

Let's just mop up these few last questions and see if anything else comes up. Then maybe I can ask you the final 6 questions, if you feel ready. If not, we can continue to explore what is arising, no problem, no pressure, no hurry. How would that be? :)

So im left with thoughts of so what is there to do really when stuff is triggered or comes around? This is yet just another thought and it dosnt come with any worry, I havent felt worried in a few days I think.

We can shoot for the questions and Ill answer as honestly as I can to see if anything comes up there too :)

Thank you Fran!

xx

[Bambaji]

Hello there :)

How do you mean separation? I don't have much of a sort of spiritual background and separation is one of these words that I've never really used or understood what it points too

In this context, separation is meant as : do you see the mind as a separate entity or thing, but you have explained clearly that you don't :)

So I'm left with thoughts of so what is there to do really when stuff is triggered or comes around? This is yet just another thought and it doesn't come with any worry, I haven't felt worried in a few days I think

Stuff being triggered is, firstly, only another thought and, secondly, only a problem if it is believed. Stuff gets triggered, you can find you are back in the story, you spot it, have a laugh, hey no problem - and so it goes on!! See how this works out the next time you are triggered.

Yesterday I said

You have seen through the illusion of self, this seems clear

and I apologise, it is not for me to say whether you have seen or not, this is your journey and it is for you to say.

So, would you say that you have seen clearly the illusion of self? No doubts or reservations?

Love xx

[Frogman]

Today has been a doubtful day. Of not wanting whats happening and unpleasentness spinning around. You write,

Stuff being triggered is, firstly, only another thought and, secondly, only a problem if it is believed. Stuff gets triggered, you can find you are back in the story, you spot it, have a laugh, hey no problem - and so it goes on!! See how this works out the next time you are triggered.

Seems pretty obvious that thats going on, and theres what seems to be seeing that. With still wanting it to change, and there seems like no way out. And then all of a sudden its seen and its kind of easeing up. Trying to make that happen dosnt work at all tho. There really seems like no control there. And today has been kind of a demonstration of that there just is no control.

It dosnt seem clear that the illusion is seen through, theres so many expectations and stuff still. Alltho there is no doubt that I cant be found. Once there seems to be a certain level of presence to direct experience there is nothing but it. Today theres been trying to "do that" to get rid of whats going on, and theres like just total hopelessness.

Theres also a story comeing up again and again about how a previous near death experience and not being afraid of death is hurting me here. Fear isnt here, and there should be fear! Conclusion is drawn like a little victim that thats why things arent working out like they should, because Im not afraid enough to die or to not exist. Funny huh?

Right now looking at that thought its extremely hilarious.

Theres such a strong sense of not really knowing anything tho and when compareing happends there is such an unsureness, nothing anyone talks about seem to be the experience here. Like answering the question if its clearly seen through, or seeing through beliefs. What is it supposed to be like?

This is just doubt right? Just another thought appearing as not getting it, and its labeled doubt and unsure.

So at times here thoughts are just believed, alot. Other times they are purely hilarious and just casually around, or not even seemingly there at all.

Ive heard somewhere that if its not a clear yes that means a no.

Jeez!

[Bambaji]

Good evening honey

It doesn't seem clear that the illusion is seen through, there's so many expectations and stuff still

Thank you for your honesty and for sticking with this. There is no point in getting this far and pretending that you have seen. Let's dig a bit deeper and see if those expectations and doubts can be seen as they really are. Write down your expectations....

Today there's been trying to "do that" to get rid of whats going on, and there's like just total hopelessness.

You know already that there is no 'doing' here, there is only being with the looking. Look at the 'total hopelessness'. Sit with it and see what it is through Direct Experience. Can you actually find hopelessness or is there just a thought? If there is a sense of hopelessness arising, what about the 'total' bit?

Fear can often be a part of this process - even a fear of not being afraid!! Lol :) But, again, look into it, don't accept the thought and the label without checking: 'is this really the Direct Experience?' If there is a real DE of fear, check it out. Is there something that needs protecting? Fear is a useful tool for protection, but it can outstay it's usefulness, it can become a habit. Check it out.

There's such a strong sense of not really knowing anything tho and when comparing happens there is such an unsureness, nothing anyone talks about seem to be the experience here...

What is there to know? Most of what we think we know is just that - thinking!! What is comparison? Another thought?

...nothing anyone talks about seem to be the experience here. Like answering the question if its clearly seen through, or seeing through beliefs. What is it supposed to be like?

I am not sure I understand what you mean here. Could you write this paragraph again please, really pin down clearly what it is you are expressing?

This is just doubt right? Just another thought appearing as not getting it, and its labelled doubt and unsure

Almost certainly - but check it out. Can you find 'doubt' anywhere? Can you find 'unsure' anywhere except in a thought?

Try and find a quiet spot, in nature if possible, and just sit quietly. There is nothing to do here. Just sit and experience whatever is happening. Breathe deeply, settle into the Direct Experience of what is happening now, just now, and now. Allow doubt to come if it is there, acknowledge that it is just a state like any other, and will pass through just like any other. What never changes? What is your Direct Experience of what never changes? What is your Direct Experience of right NOW?

Go gently with this, you are doing so well :)

Much love

xx

[Bambaji]

Just to let you know that I am getting on a plane in an hour, 11hr flight, may be a bit slow answering your next post, please keep posting anyway!

xx

[Frogman]

Just to let you know that I am getting on a plane in an hour, 11hr flight, may be a bit slow answering your next post, please keep posting anyway!

Hey :) Thanks for letting me know, appriciated!

Let's dig a bit deeper and see if those expectations and doubts can be seen as they really are. Write down your expectations....

I tryed writing something earlier today and ended up leaving the computer after just nothing really seeming to wanna come out.

Right now it seems hard to be in touch with doubts and expectations. Was spending the evening with a childhoodfriend and his girlfriend/kid. Havent seen them in a while and it hit me how the Filip for the circumstance of meeting them that acted or talked about certain things around them was just showing up and was very surpriseing. There was curiosity in a way that havent been experienced really before of like "hmm curious what will actually happen or what will be thought or said".

Also before going to them it was clear in a sort of curious way how thoughts about getting ready to meet them was just in the loop of thoughts today, that they werent thought by me they just showed up to take care of things. Even tho there was alot of energy going into your questions and the regular investigation.

There are expectations of just not believeing thoughts in an effortlessway. Or less effort in general, seeing that effort somehow is an illusion too.

When thoughts do their thing and labels like hopelessness or unpleasent are flying around it seems like it takes so much effort and doing to see or not get caught up. I suppose thats where expectations are in play too. Wich is in highnsight where it seems to snowball. I dont know really tho right now my last message from the other day seem so far away.

What never changes? What is your Direct Experience of what never changes? What is your Direct Experience of right NOW?

Silence, aliveness, kinda like "going there" is the experience of noticing it, just right away. Instant. Mind gets quiet. Then story about it or how to describe it starts almost instantly. So there seems to be where doubtthoughts comes into play. Is this it? Questioning if its enough. Expecting there to be no doubt or something to happen from there. Like its not enough of an answer. So I guess theres an expectation too of looking where something will happen or will be really seen. Like no doubt, this is it. Wich it obviously is, how can it not be it when it is. Jeez.

Seems like an innocent protectionmechanism to keep moveing keep looking, wanting to help and improve and make better. Like not buying it as enough. What is seen, "it" as the answer.

Try and find a quiet spot, in nature if possible, and just sit quietly.

Thanks for the suggestion, im sure that will happen sometime soon! :)

One thing to add that is noticed is that it seems like many parts of whats going on seem really like they happen by themself, that there is no control. But there still is the sense of thinking the thoughts somtimes. The experience seem to be like thinking the thoughts, some of them. When trying to not think "those" thoughts tho theres no stopping it, they just start over and over and over wich sets me back into a not knowing again, where thoughts gets funny. Atleast thats been the experience today.

There is nothing to do here. Just sit and experience whatever is happening. Breathe deeply, settle into the Direct Experience of what is happening now, just now, and now. Allow doubt to come if it is there, acknowledge that it is just a state like any other, and will pass through just like any other. What never changes? What is your Direct Experience of what never changes? What is your Direct Experience of right NOW?

That theres just no problem to be found really, how could there, haha. Will take this/these questions with me for the rest of the night and til next time! Leaving the keyboard.

Wishing a pleasent flight!

w love!

[Bambaji]

Hello from Thailand!

I tryed writing something earlier today and ended up leaving the computer after just nothing really seeming to wanna come out.

So would you say that in direct experience expectations cannot be found? Did you look for expectation?

When thoughts do their thing and labels like hopelessness or unpleasent are flying around it seems like it takes so much effort and doing to see or not get caught up. I suppose thats where expectations are in play too. Wich is in highnsight where it seems to snowball.

I would like you to pick this statement apart please. Thoughts and labels arise, but 'it takes so much effort'?' Really look at this and the rest of the paragraph. 'Is it possible to look at anything in hindsight?' How would this happen? Focus and be clear about what is directly experienced.

Thanks

Love xx

[Frogman]

Hello Thailand! :)

So would you say that in direct experience expectations cannot be found?

They cannot be found outside of being content of thoughtland! An expectation is like a sneaky thought about a fantasyscenario, can only be found like that, a thought with some content.

Yesterday evening and all night there was intense looking. Thoughts are thoughts, experience is what it is in its direct way, stuff is on fire and theres just burning gahhhhh this. The expectation that shows up, now as thoughts is that there is expectations about an happening, did it happen, did it not? Evaluating and dreaming about what apperantly was happening yesterday, as a memory. Looking for if what was going on yesterday qualifys as an awakening, a seeing that there is just this going on. Just like right now.

So these thoughts, this doubt, this question if the seeing was enough is what arises. A thought, in other words, thoughts cant think thoughts cant expect thoughts cant wonder or worry or know about stuff really it just arises with innocence commenting on the story about whats going on.

Expectation about that these sort of thoughts will dissolve and not arise. Can a thought be non doubtful or doubtful, how could it be anything in any way other then just a thought, just language? Like a language train driveing by with "sound" divided up into letters that we use to make sense out of the sound. It could either be "gwaulauuuba" or "hello this is Trump in the head" or "am I clear"? Like can it be clear, ofcourse not, maybe it could be followed by a thought with the sound "im clear"! So theres no one doing anything and its already the case and has always been the case. Fingers and keyboardbuttons of letters are being machinegunned right now. Body is high on energy right now theres like jumping in the chair. Thoughts drawing conclusion thats been happening since yesterday is that a sign of an awakening? Like something is just being missed. What could be missed. Expectations of thoughts to get it. If theres no one thinking whats going on. Confusion. (Happy confusion, one of those days)

I would like you to pick this statement apart please. Thoughts and labels arise, but 'it takes so much effort'?' Really look at this and the rest of the paragraph. 'Is it possible to look at anything in hindsight?' How would this happen? Focus and be clear about what is directly experienced.

Wow what a sentence. Effort is a word, a noise that the body could make, comeing out of a hole in its face (for example). Pointing to sensations or fantasy going on in the moment that can not be found, theres just different sensations and movements and stuff going on that cant be made sense out of really, but it could be attempted to by thoughts because they like to use language. Its not possible to look at anything in highnsight. A thought can appear and imagine something about something that has happened and create a close enough fantasyscenario about it, where things could made fantasy sense out of.

So right now, why is the thought (asks a thought) "is this it, is what is seen now enough or what is looked for?" when it can be outfacted pretty easlity like, duuh what else? It can even be outsmarted in conceptland. We care about direct experience and lookingland, what can be labeled as reality. Ofcourse this is it over here too. Why is it loaded and believed, this doubt, where is it? Nowhere, there are sensations and stuff that are just what they are and there is this that can be speculated about in words. Theres no problem, problem is a concept, there are what could be judged and boxed into a nice frame of language as happy kind of movements of energy and pleasent experience.

Hello doubtthought, nice to meet you. Lets have a dialoge. What are you doutbting?
- Im doubting if what we call a gateless gate has been crossed by no one, since there is no one. That this is intellectualized too much to happen because of reading a sentence somewhere on LU about that being a problem could be while looking.

-Thanks for your great answer! Great thing to doubt, why the heck not.

- Thats it for me, now sending in my brotherthought "stay with direct experience more"

- Hey! Im doing that already, youre empty how could I not do that!

- What are you? Are you the interviewer or just another thought?

- Who knows? Im a completely new thought, hi lets skip introductions. Saying lets search for doubt in the body outside of our nice dialoge

*looking*

- Thought reporting in, nope.

- Lets go out for a long nice walk in the woods like Fran suggested earlier and pretend to be able to not listen to us anymore.

*Body prepareing to do that*

Wishing great enjoyments of thailand! Dont burn the body to near death!

Much love!

[Bambaji]

Hi, or sawadee ka as we say in Thailand!!

Thank you for your post.

Thoughts drawing conclusion thats been happening since yesterday is that a sign of an awakening? Like something is just being missed. What could be missed. Expectations of thoughts to get it. If theres no one thinking whats going on. Confusion.

Seeing through the illusion can be very simple, very subtle and this is great fuel for confusion and doubt to arise! Maybe there is an expectation of fireworks or lightening bolts, choirs of angels, an energetic round of applause or party!! An expectation to see everything slightly differently on some level! And this may happen, it also may not and the expectation may cloud the experience of what may be sweet and gentle and just there!

Expectations of no thought after seeing, very common, yet thoughts will continue to arise for a while, maybe always. Again clouding what is there to be experienced.

Hello doubtthought, nice to meet you. Lets have a dialoge. What are you doutbting?
- Im doubting if what we call a gateless gate has been crossed by no one, since there is no one. That this is intellectualized too much to happen because of reading a sentence somewhere on LU about that being a problem could be while looking.

There's a good story going on here!! Intellectualising can cause problems, but these problems are all just thoughts, stories. LOOK SOMEWHERE ELSE!! What is your direct experience here?? Use these tools to get back to what you can verify. Sit on a chair - what is happening? Eat an apple - what is happening? Listen to music - what is happening? Look for the self - what is there?

Keep it simple. Report back

Love xx